Warning: the following blog post will make me appear to be a stereotypical girly-girl who hates football and attempts to girlify every event she can. In reality, I am a girly-girl who hates football and who girlifys every event I can.
I do not apologize for this.
It is this behavior that has had me banned from my husband’s Super Bowl parties for as long as he’s been having them. And I’m fine with it. I don’t even wander into the room during the halftime show because they’d find it insulting to the integrity of the game.
Since I’ve always kept my distance from the party, I’ve also kept my distance from the food. Sure, I’ve made stuff, like last year’s Glazed Corned Beef, but stuff like that is sloppy, ugly man-food. I make it, I leave it in the kitchen, and then I’m on my way (up to my room to watch on-demand episodes of The Bachelorette while snacking on something that’s both salty and sweet–could you get more girly-girl than that?).
But this year, I thought I’d try something different. This year, I told my husband I wanted to make something special; something that’s thematic, delicious, and pretty.
“No.” was what he replied…with undertones of fear in his voice.
I tried to reassure him. “Trust me. I promise that you won’t be embarrassed and your little friends will love it.”
Reluctantly, he agreed. So come Super Bowl Sunday, this is what I’ll be making:
Super Bowl Sunday Super Seven Layer Dip
Ingredients
One jar of salsa (not too runny)
One full-sized tub of sour cream & one small tub of sour cream
One tbsp.taco seasoning
Approx. two cups of guacamole (normally, I’d make my own but in this case, I’m counting on the preservatives to keep it looking pretty)
A cup of sliced black olives
A cup of diced tomatoes
1 can of refried beans
½ cup very finely chopped lettuce
¼ cup very finely chopped green onion
4 long pretzel rods
Tortilla chips, corn chips, and anything else you like to dip into your dip.
…and one cherry tomato
Directions
Mix the taco seasoning into the large tub of sour cream. That’s pretty much all the cooking you’ll need to do for this recipe.
Assemble
1. Spread the beans, then salsa, then sour cream mixture, onto the bottom of a rectangular container.
2. Add the guacamole, being careful not to let any of the sour cream peek through or it’ll ruin the look of your “turf”.
3. Top the guacamole with the lettuce and green onions to give your turf some texture.
(Now its time to get funky)
4. Spoon the second container of sour cream into a ziploc bag & cut off the tip. Use this to pipe lines onto the field.
5. Starting with the 50 yard line at the centre (see I know something about football!), at equal distances from each other, pipe lines that go right across the field (yard markers).
6. In between each full line, add a pair of mini lines across from each other called ‘hash lines” (please do not ask me what hash lines are…I do not know).
7. Fill in the end zone (the space between the final yard markers and the end of the “field”) with the diced tomatoes & olive. All the tomatoes go on one side to represent the San Fransisco Falcons and all the olives go on the others side to represent the Baltimore Ravens.
8. Add the pretzel sticks to the end zones for the goal posts.
9. Finally, place the cherry tomato, our “football”, on the fifty yard line.
10. Carefully put the whole shebang-a-bang on a larger try and surround the field with the fans (aka. Tortilla chips).
11. Take a picture for Instragram, Facebook, Twitter, et al, serve it, and then retreat with a glass of wine & a pat on the back. Or stay and watch the game…if you’re into that kind of thing.
PS. In case you’re wondering, yes I did have to Google which two games were in the Superbowl. And then I had to Google which colours are associated with said teams.