A Night in the Life of a Step-mom

The only thing that makes this night any different than countless others is that it is relatively quiet in our home. There is a lot of personality under this roof when we are all home and at times it makes for some interesting drama.

Tonight, however, I am home with Sirtalksalot (12), Mlle Jensaispas (14) and the Gaffer (3) and am reflecting on my step-mother role.

I have just started reading A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom, which was sent to me by the author, Jacquelyn B. Fletcher, who also has a website on being a stepmom ( I really like that she doesn’t hyphenate the word, it’s such a hyphenated role to begin with.)

The forewards are a bit too warm fuzzy for me but I am really enjoying the first chapter.  There are a few paragraphs that really resonate. Especially the ones about how I imagined my married life before I knew I would be marrying a man with children and what it’s like to marry someone who has already been through many of the firsts to which I would be looking forward.

I’ll write a more detailed review when I finish the book, but I do have it swirling around in my psyche as I lie on my bed typing and listening to the sounds of my blended family. Below me are strains of Tila Tequila which I can condemn as a show with no moral fibre but do not really have the power to tell the 14 year old watching it to turn it off.  Her father may if he was here, but I’m not totally sure, we don’t always share the same views about what I call appropriate viewing and he calls censorship. Can you guess which one of us was a Deadhead?

A few notes of "Be My Guest" from Beauty and the Beast waft through my bedroom wall as I listen to the Gaffer reading each of her books to her dolls and listen to her favourite cd’s while she is supposed to be sleeping.

All of this comes secondary to the hammer of the Sirtalksalots’ Guitar Hero Rolling Stones’ rendition of Paint it Black which is pounding under my door with occasional incorrect cords.

Mr. Husband is out for dinner with Cupcake because university applications are due tomorrow and they are putting on the finishing touches. Part of me wants to be part of this but most of me knows it’s best that they do it themselves.  I’ll get a turn when the Gaffer applies.

For almost 7 years, I have looked after these guys after school and shared in most of their activities, programs, illnesses, friendships, school functions and rites of passage. This September it was decided that no one needed my care after school anymore and with that my services seem to have been severed. We’re in a new phase of our relationship and where I was once an integral decision maker and authority figure, it has become apparent that for this stage of our family’s life, I need to find a new role. I have no idea what that is…I am really hoping there is a chapter for me in Jacquelyn’s book, but in the meantime, I’m trying to keep a low profile…in my own home…which goes against my entire nature…so we’ll see what happens.  For tonight anyway, it seems to be working.