30 Weeks…Pretty?

Whew! I made it. I MADE IT! I walked home from STARBUCKS, and I made it. Didn’t think I would. Thought I’d have to sit on someone’s front porch for a bit. But, I MADE IT. I took teeny-tiny baby steps, and I MADE IT! YES! Now, I’m sitting here downing a COLD glass of water and writing to you. And, what d’ya know, the little baby in my belly is kicking…. You LOVE mamma’s cold water, don’t you, little one…. *MWAH*!

I went to Starbucks this morning (Saturday) because it’s MY TIME, and Starbucks totally relaxes me. See, every Saturday morning now, Josh takes the monkey to breakfast with some other daddyz and then to swimming class (which is basically a half hour of the monkey screaming…), and I go chill at Starbucks.

This morning, I waddled all the way there. I hadn’t had a chai tea latte in a whole week — because I’ve suddenly started to LOATHE that dang calorie-laden drink. But, I thought I’d try another, just for old time’s sake, and to make sure that I do, indeed, loathe it. And, YES! LOATHE! It was totally vomitous!

Despite loathsome drink, I loved the time to myself with my book. I’m reading Eckler’s Wiped, since I just finished Knocked Up, which I totally LOVED and related to because it made me find humour in my expanding arse, etc., etc….

And, you know what? I felt aiight about myself. Even a teensy weensy bit pretty. Wanna hear why? ‘Kay I’ll tell you. Because this short hot guy was giving me the EYE…. Yeah, I think he liked me!? (I’m not even going to entertain the thought that he was just feeling sorry for me — you know how some guys honk or whistle at less attractive girls because they feel sorry for them? I assure you, this was NOT the case…okay?!) There was a twinkle in his GORJ hazel eyes. And, he kept saying hi to me. And, each time, I’d look down in confusion and shyness. But, I was LOVING it. It’s SO great to think that you’re still attractive at 30 weeks pregnant…. That guys might actually WANT YOU at 30 weeks pregnant. Those simple eye twinkles and little "hi"’s made my day. Love love LOVE!

I mean, not that I need a man to validate my potential gorjness…. But, it DOTH help…! At 30 weeks preggers, A-NY-THING helps! Taking a gazillion pictures of yourself to get a few aiight ones helps, too!

…umm…maybe not.

Minden has decided he wants to be famous. I told him when I’ve settled with the new baby, we can work on a pitch for his own reality show….

A-NY-WAY….

Can you believe I’m 30 weeks preggers? I mean, I CAN’T! 10 weeks to go! We are soooo, like, COUNTING DOWN! It’s pretty amazing. I can feel so much happening inside my tummy. I mean, the baby KICKS HARD, and somersaults, and stretches. I feel so blessed to experience this. To carry my baby in my body.

I look at my little girl now — as she approaches two years old — and I can’t believe she came from my body. What a gift. What a sacred gift. I’m beyond thankful to be pregnant. As much as I kvetch and laugh and make fun of my big ole preggers self, I’m constantly aware of how amazing this experience is. I’m aware that not everyone gets to have this experience. And, I feel overwhelmingly thankful. There’s a full baby inside me now! I’m connected to this baby. I FEEL THE LOVE! I am truly overwhelmed.

Me at 30 weeks:

Ahem, it would be a little nice, though if MEN could, for ONE DAY, experience the discomforts of pregnancy, though…….. They just DON’T GET IT.

Since you asked, and since it just wouldn’t be me not to kvetch AT ALL…. Here’s a list of my discomforts — I thought this would be a good note to end on (hee…):

1. Peeing EVERY FREAKING HOUR at night.

2. Laboured breathing, especially outside.

3. Picking up a toddler’s a BITCH, and the monkey INSISTS on being picked up…, especially when we’re outside in the SWELTERING SUMMER HEAT.

4. Indigestion. Again — BURRRRRRRP, OWWWWWW!!!

5. Food sucks. I want to eat, but NOTHING appeals to me. You’d think this would be a good thing. But, how am I supposed to comfort myself NOW!? Besides, I’m STILL EATING….

6. Anxiety. I’m petrified of preterm labour. Maybe it’s because people keep telling me how HUGE I am and that I’m not going to make it. BIATCHES! I even get paranoid that a little foot’s sticking out of my you-know-what!

7. Swelling. Omigosh, I can’t. make. fist. Owwww!

8. Tired tired tired tired tired tired tired.

9. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. I am soooooo stupid. Like, seriously…..

By the way, there was no RLG (Random Lady at Gym) this week. Boo. Maybe she read my blog and was AFRAID-VERY-AFRAID to approach me! Thanks so much for all your suggestions. I’ll keep them in mind for next time, when it will be TWO WEEKS since she last saw me….. What can she say that’s worse than "disgusting"???

Want more Cheaty? Go check out my personal blog at The Cheaty Monkey. I’m knitting a blanket for the little one…. Can you guess what colour it is? Hint: there will be a little bit of yellow in it………

Want CELEBRITY GOSSIP? Check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

TALK TO ME IN THE COMMENTS! I LOVE IT! I’ll talk back when I can. I’m TRYING to keep up. But, it’s getting really tough! BUT, I appreciate EVERY SINGLE comment!!! Please know that! LOVE!

Love!

xo Haley-O