With kids around having “cuddle time” is not always so “spur of the moment” anymore. As a parent, one must ensure that the kiddies are in their deepest time of their sleep cycle. But we all know how important it is to make time for your partner, right?
I recently had a chance to interview Dr. Robin Milhausen, renowned Sexual Health Expert on how busy parents can make the most of their most intimate moments.
Often parents complain about after a day of work or running errands and dealing with the kids, they don’t have time (or they are too tired) for sex. Scheduling
‘time together’ seems too programmed or is this something that we should be doing?
In couple relationships with busy lives, one or two careers, one or two or more kids, it is easy to let intimacy and emotional connection fall to the bottom of our priority lists. As a sexuality researcher, wife, and mom, I know this first hand! But it’s especially critical to make time for our partners when life gets hectic.
Sex is one “glue” we have to keep our relationships together. After we have sex we
usually feel more connected, more relaxed, we have better sleeps – there are all
kinds of relational, emotional, and physical benefits. So even though scheduling
time for sex seems too “regimented,” it’s worth trying to flip that in our heads and
view it as something that allows us to build anticipation. It’s something to look
forward to. It’s important to remember that it’s not just the sex, but also how
good you (and your partner) will feel afterwards.
What are some ways to bring sexy back (easily) to the bedroom?
It’s often hard to feel motivated to have sex “the same old way.” Doing something
different can help to spice things up. It’s easy to get into a rut and do the
things that are most effective or efficient. Research suggests that women, in
particular, experience decreases in sexual desire the longer they are in a
relationship (Murray and Milhausen, 2012). So women, in particular, may need (or
enjoy) a little something extra to boost their excitement.
Lubricants are a fun, but non-threatening way, to change things up in the bedroom.
Lubricants are great for manual stimulation for men and women. Without lubrication,
there can be friction and chafing (ouch!). But lubricants are not just for people
with dryness issues (though they certainly help those folks). Sex is one of those
things that is better slippery!!! Trojan just launched a new line of lubricants and
is working to dispel the myth that lubricants are only used to treat sexual
problems, rather for enhancing pleasure. There are three different varieties so it
can be fun to mix things up and try different types to see what you and your partner
like best.
Vibrators are another way to make sex more exciting…adding a little vibration
to the sexual encounter can make sex more enjoyable for women (and men).
What’s the frequency of sex for Canadians? Any idea?
There is limited information on this available. However, it seems that couples in
North America have sex, on average, once or twice a week. Married couples and
couples who live together have more sex than single people.
What about favourite positions and any findings on what works best?
Women tend to enjoy positions where they can control the depth and pacing of
penetration – so woman-on-top, or a side-to-side position where she can raise and
lower herself onto her partner. For intensity, and g-spot stimulation, and feeling
a little naughty (which does increase arousal and pleasure for many women), rear
entry sex (where a partner penetrates from behind) is enjoyable.
What are some of the best types of “aids” and why?
The best types of aids are those that both partners are comfortable with, and will
use. A sex toy won’t be effective if one person is intimidated to use it, or feels
threatened by it. I also advocate simple products. Often products that try to do
too many things are not good at any of them (e.g., vibrators that twirl, swirl, rub
the g-spot and tickle the clitoris at the same time). A vibrator that is simple and
versatile is the best investment. I recommend a “bullet” vibrator. It can be used
internally (but not anally), or externally on the clitoris. There are budget
(http://www.comeasyouare.com/shop/product/Silver-Bullet-Vibrator/ ) and deluxe
versions (http://www.comeasyouare.com/shop/product/Lelo-Lyla-Remote-Vibrator/) It
can be used on the shaft of a man’s penis, or behind his testicles on the perineum.
Lubricants are good because they can help to enhance sensation and reduce pain or
friction. They also add fun! Trojan vibrators and lubricants are available at food
and drug stores, so are easily accessible, if you don’t have (or aren’t interested
in visiting) your local sex shop.
If you’re um, sensitive “down there” is there lubricants that are better than others?
Silicone lubricants, and lubricants which are unscented and unflavoured tend to be
the best for people who are sensitive. For example, Trojan’s line of lubricants are
non-sticky, unscented and clear – the Continuous Silkiness would be a good option
for people with sensitive skin.
NOW HERE’S A CHALLENGE:
Can you turn off and turn on? How many of us admit to having our mobile devices on all the time? Well, ladies and gentlemen, see if you can just turn it off so you can get turned on! This Wednesday, May 29th between 7:00 pm to midnight, why not give it a go, will you?
Your partner will thank me….I mean you.
So, tell me..have you ever been “caught” by your kids? How did you talk your way out of it? I’ll need to make notes just in case!
TROJAN has recently introduced a new line of Personal Lubricants and if you haven’t tried any before, you may be interested in these…
Continuous Silkinesss
Tingly Warmth
Arouses & Intensifies
TROJAN products are available in grocery stores, drug stores nationally.
For more information on TROJAN Products, please visit http://www.churchdwight.ca/
Join in the conversation on Twitter #TrojanTurnOffTurnOn
This post is not sponsored, nor was I compensated. Thank you to Dr. Milhausen for this interesting interview! Now, go to bed and turn off your screen!
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