Who Chooses the Extra-Curriculars?

Before I had Will, I made some promises to myself about the kind of parent I wanted to be.  A few of these promises?

a. I didn’t want to baby him – didn’t want to shield him from the good and bad of the world.

b. I wanted him to grow up respecting different cultures; religions; and sexual preferences.

c. I would never make him eat liver.

d. I would try to make a home where all his friends would want to hang out.

The key one that I made is that I would nurture his interests, whether I shared them or not. Say the kid becomes passionate about gardening and techno-pop? Well, I guess we’d take some classes in not killing plants and I’d buy some mega headphones and hit up some raves. I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t force him into crap he’s not interested in or avoid things that he is because I’m not.

Now that he’s five, he’s getting some very strong opinions about things he likes and doesn’t, including his extra-curricular activities. Before now, I’ve chosen what he’ll do after school and on the weekends. I tried to expose him to different things. We’ve done kindergym, floor hockey, soccer, swimming, dancing, music and acting. I loved his acting classes. I wanted him to develop the confidence in being in front of people that I never had.

As fall was approaching, we started talking about what to do in the fall. Swimming. No brainer. He likes it and it’s essential. I said acting. He said no. I didn’t listen. In my mind, he would get there and love it again and it would all be great. Every few days we’d talk about the fall. Every few days he would say, ‘No acting. I’m not going. No way.” I sent in his registration. The kid wanted to take karate. He wants to kick and yell ‘hiiiiiya’. Personally? No interest. Then I remembered my promises to my kid in the womb.

I cancelled his acting class registration. I signed him up for tae-kwan-do and gymnastics instead. The grin on his face told me instantly that it was the right thing to do. The massive grin when I said ‘no acting class’ was totally worth it. I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking in the first place.

What happens in your house when it comes to extra-curriculars? Do you go tiger mom and force your athlete into violin lessons or do you let them take the lead?

Oh and FYI…I had a Hong Kong Phooey lunch box so why was I so anti-karate?