A few months back I wrote an article decrying the “Slut Walks” which were taking place across the country. It led to a huge debate, and tempers passionately flared.
It began when a police officer had apparently told a group of students that if they wanted to protect themselves against sexual predators they should not dress like “sluts”. People were outraged. “How dare he say such a thing?” So a group of women in Toronto got together and staged a “Slut Walk”. An article supporting it in one of our major newspapers even went as far as to show what the middle aged columnist would be wearing to the event: a Furstenberg dress and Chanel brooch. Be realistic, that’s not what our young women are wearing.
Regardless, these women who walked were heralded for “freeing” our sex and defining us as equals, and “Slut Walks” have since be held in many western countries.
But it strikes me as curious that those same women are now furious about a picture in a
French Vogue Magazine. It portrays a young girl, in a dress, heavily made up and laying on a couch. The very same outspoken newspaper columnist, who said our girls should be allowed to wear anything they want, is now screaming that they’re sexualising young women and this shouldn’t be allowed.
What?
She actually says “sex isn’t about nudity necessarily. It’s all about signals, the kind that a little girl doesn’t know she’s sending out to freaks for judgment.”
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t say it’s fine for a 16 year old to present herself this way, yet it’s obscene for a 10 year old. Bottom line is, our girls, no matter what age, are precious and need to be protected.
So what are we going to do about it?
it is fully intended to be provocative and with a child it is wrong. just like you can’t disguise a tiger skin as a rug…you can’t disguise a child as a woman.
So many amazing comments and excellent points. In this country we absolutely need harsher punishment for paedophiles -don’t get me started on that one.
I must admit I have taken my daughter for a mani-pedi, but most of the time it is us giggling at home. I do want her to stay a child as long as possible, something which becomes increasingly difficult with each school year. It’s amazing to see the difference in attitudes between a group of 8 year olds. You can tell who’s been “groomed” and by that I mean the girl who in JK came up to my daughter & said “my clothes are so much better than yours and way more expensive”. I wish I was kidding.
Slut Walks. Look, I lock my door when I leave the house. Is it going to stop someone who really wants to get in? No. But it does act as a deterrant. I agree we need to empower women, I just think there’s got to be a better way to do it.
I grew up on Free to Be…You and Me, and you can be certain my son is too. I want to make sure both my children are respectful, responsible, caring, human beings. The problem is, there will still be some people who aren’t. I’m all for turning the other cheek, but sometimes you have to punch back.
Painting nails badly on the bathroom floor seems fine/ normal to me- but pulling up in a stretch limo in front of a nail salon with 10 of your closest 6 year old pals is scary precious to me.
And very rushed.
i may be ignorant on this since I do not have a daughter, but why is it so wrong for a 6 year old to have a manicure? My 5 year old neice loves getting manicures because she likes to be like her mom. Just like she has her own kitchen to cook “just like mom” and her own briefcase for when she’s going to work “just like mom”, and her own pretend cellphone etc….. Even my boys want their nails painted on occasion because I do mine. Isn’t roleplaying part of childhood? I remember wanting my nails painted because my mother painted hers, and because I loved all the colors and it was part of my dress-up and costume games. Am i completely lost on this?
If we allow this then where will it stop? Legalizing kiddie porn? It is a slippery slope that we don’t want to walk down. If we don’t stop here it will only get worse.
Well said, both Nancy and Charlene! A magazine advertisement of this nature is primarily the reason I stopped purchasing Vogue & Bazaar (not to mention they are basically ONLY ads…) — the ‘artistic’ element is just not of interest, especially since the majority of them *are* sexing up young women who basically have the physical features of children.
I truly don’t understand the rush parents put on their children, on all aspects of their life. Just as a baby doesn’t need to be rushed off the bottle … a 6 year old most definitely doesn’t need to be getting mani/pedis!
Racheal,
I completely agree with you. The ‘rules’ of femininity are the same regardless of age, and we train our daughters to be like ourselves. Behaviours change with age, but the underlying principles of modesty and respect are ageless.
Men do need to exercise self control and our society needs to hold them absolutely responsible for any actions they take. I realize this analogy will fall short BUT it’s like walking into the woods where I live with berries and raw meat hanging around your neck. It’s ugly, it stinks, and you’re inviting a bear or a wolf to take a very big bite or two.
Foolish.
France is one of the most secular of all the nations in Europe. Morality doesn’t put us in cages, but frees us to live in peace and safety. Do not be surprised that as our society becomes more secular, the same will happen here (glorifying in the sexualization of our children). And it will not take long.
this gives me the shivers
shut it down
it is frightening on a thousand levels and the parents should be locked up for encouraging/permitting it.
I always say -show me a 6 year old who wants to have her birthday party at a nail salon, and I will show you a mom who thinks its a FAB idea and a girl who just wants to climb a tree and play but wants to please mom.
Children should be children as long as possible. Adulthood is overrated.
So not the same thing. Not in the least. The Slut Walk was brought about with reference to a Manitoba Judge who felt that the way a woman dressed, negated somehow her right to feel that she was sexually assaulted or raped. The judge has since then been dealt with (it happened right here in my city). That was about a woman, young or old alike, being free to wear her own preference in clothing while still being able to feel safe, or at least not being held to blame when assault happens.
This 10 year old child is an entirely different situation. If a pedophile got a child to pose this way (and they do!!) the world would be outraged and disgusted but because it’s done for magazines and with parental consent, its different?!?!? That is where the issue for this child comes up. We can’t send the message to pedophiles that to find a child sexually arousing is wrong and then post images of a 10 year old in such provocative images. THAT is trying to have it both ways! As a childhood sexual abuse survivor, I feel it’s important to protect children from sexual predators and this image does anything but…
HELLOOOO and wake up, isn’t the problem MEN not respecting WOMEN?????? THOSE PIGS need to learn some self control. DUH
I agree with Lady Di,
The slut walk is very different from this spread.
I see your point about that quote though. It does seem contradictory. I haven’t read the whole article so I’m not sure of the context. But, it seems like it doesn’t matter what signals are sent out and/or how they are interpreted. There is no excuse for sexual assault.
I guess I have to read both articles to really analyze. I will try to do so and get back to you.
Great post!
Hi Racheal,
Interesting topic. Here’s my perspective:
Part of parenting is teaching ‘children’ what is, and what is not, appropriate behaviour at different stages of development.
The advertiser/magazine in question is using the allure and promise of sex with a child to sell a product.
That child did not get out of her clothes and onto the pages of a magazine without her parents’ consent and help. I would be surprised if she hadn’t been encouraged by her parents. This is much like the toddlers and tiaras nonsense–dangerous because it tells girls that their self-worth is rightly measured in the way they present their bodies, how much they primp in front of a mirror, what clothes they wear…
Being ‘marketed’ by their parents, whether as pre-pubescent ‘cuties’ or as nascent ‘Lolitas’ undermines girls’ abilities to establish an autonomous and grounded sense of their worth–and their own values–as persons, as females, and as sexual beings.
So long as we continue to condone the commoditization of children, we will continue to condemn them to self-blame when they are, finally, ‘sexually’ assaulted and to ease them into the lie that sexual assault is about sex – that men cannot control their sexual urges and that women exist to ‘service’ them – willingly or no.
Sexual assault is about establishing power over and victimizing another human being in a manner that entirely strips the one attacked of dignity and, for an interminably long time, of a sense of security of person.
The sad fact is that a certain percentage of our daughters will become prey.
Although females are subject to attack at any age, from infancy to seniority, there is a world of difference between the child of 10 and the adolescent of 16. A difference in what they can understand, a difference in our ability to control their choices.
As a society and as parents, we need to stop selling our girls to the highest bidder–whether the recompense is dollars in our pockets or simply the ego boost of ‘owning’ the prettiest one.
We need to stop selling our girls’ lives short by clothing them in dangerously antiquated mores.
And we need to broaden our conception of appropriate adolescent behaviour.
Allow a 16 year old to participate in the slut walk? I say, encourage her to walk! And walk with her.
Personal power, female power, sexual power– these are all political.
The sooner we help our girls empower themselves–in the incarnations they choose–the sooner will a generation of girls grow into women who know who they are and to whom they owe service: themselves.
this picture does not (to me) equal the thought behind the slutwalk. this is child porn at it’s worst (best? i don’t know…)
to me the slutwalk was for women saying i can wear what i want and i shouldn’t be penalized for it, not for women to say i can dress up my girl as a porn star if i want because i feel that’s just bad parenting. i would, however, say that i don’t want to see anyone’s ass cheeks or cleavage no matter how old or young or male or female you are!
Good post, Racheal.
I don’t know what should be done about that. Yes, all girls are precious and need protecting. I don’t like the sexualization of very young girls like this. I hate to see make-up on children this way. Loathe. It’s like pageantry for nighttime. Me no likey. And I find it gross when people think this is fine… I can’t imagine who actually does, but, there’s the magazine spread, right? I know envelopes get pushed for the sake of controversy and marketing, but it just seems so predatory to me.
Ew.
Wow Rebecca – I saw some of the pics but didn’t see the one you’re talking about with the jeans. I think this is a dangerous photo spread….she is 10 years old. It is such a hot topic and at the risk of being lambasted…I’m horrified by how girls are dressing these days and while I understand why what the police officer said pissed people off…and it shouldn’t be that way – I’m sorry but I think it is. No one asks to be sexualized and we should be allowed to dress how we want….but frankly, we should all allowed to be nude if we want but it just doesn’t work that way. I said to my friend with two teenage daughters the other day – what do the bigger girls wear now that every pair of shorts for teenagers are right at the ass? She said they just have to wear them (this is off topic but I’m just terrified at what the clothes are for teens these days…where do they go from here?)
There is another picture in Vogue, of that same 10 year old, wearing only jeans, a headdress and beads covering her topless self. That’s where the real question lies – is that art or over exposure/sexualization of a young girl? Is that necessary?
wow That is really an interesting (and somewhat disturbing) picture, and definitely brings out the question – what are we going to do about it? I constantly worry about what type of messages are being sent out to our young girls. I have 2 – a 13 yr old and an 8 yr old and it amazes me the types of clothes both of these age groups are wearing these days! I try to tell them that it doesn’t matter other girls are wearing and that they should be wearing clothes that are appropriate and are not exposing all body parts…that said however, it is really hard to even know what is and isn’t appropriate these days. It isn’t easy thats for sure, and you are so correct in pointing out that we can’t have it both ways. Great post and very thought provoking!