Yesterday a tweet came across my TweetDeck from @parentsmagazine saying “Complete this tweet: If I could switch places with my kid for a day, I would….”. Actually it said compete which drew my competitive self to it even more.
Regardless, without batting an eye, I hit retweet and replied – “I’d make him wipe my ass for the day.” No need to think about it – hands down. This mom is tired of wiping poo out of someone else’s bum.
Then I really started to think about it and thought how HEAVENLY it would be for all of the following to happen – if we really COULD switch places!!!
My kid would have to do the following:
* put on my socks and boots, while juggling a coffee mug and a handful of Toy Story ‘guys’.
* open his hand willingly and accept my regurgitated grape into his own.
* suppress an emotional breakdown when I yell at him to ‘hand me my water glass’ that is right next to my bed.
* listen to Bob Dylan over and over again – this is exchange for my three years of The Wiggles.
*listen to me play with the loudest toys – especially when he’s on the phone.
* go to work with snot marks on all of his clothes from my morning tantrum over non purchased oatmeal.
* try to cover up the cut on his forehead from my extra long toenail that got rammed into his head during another sleepover where I end up horizontal in the bed.
* watch reruns of the Bachelor over and over and over again. Because if I can watch Boots and Dora save a Snow Princess 100 times…he can watch drunk girls humiliate themselves multiple times.
Getting the picture??? What would you have said to that tweet??? What would your kid have to do if you switch places for a day????
Loved this post..
Hmmm… Roman would have to make me a quality latte in exchange for all the organic whole milk warmed bottles I have served… oh and spring me from an institution in a foreign country…lol
Oh, I will be SO GLAD when the wiping is completely over for me, too. Le sigh. (So nast.)
please don’t post comments like that when i have a mouthful of coffee…i now have spit all over my keyboard! omg…wipe my ass for the day! PRICELESS!!!!!