Saturday morning, I was drinking my coffee and reading the paper while Will was checking out the latest Treehouse offering. By the time I was finished the first section – I just put the paper down and looked at my boy and considered what the true meaning of being a man is.
Toronto journalist Christie Blatchford wrote a column on the sissifying of Toronto men. Now look, I’m a writer. I get how at times, you write in a overly dramatic fashion to get people talking. So bravo Christie. You have me talking. And you had me in a massive rage thinking all weekend.
She starts the article by being horrified by two groups of teen boys running into each other on the street and …god forbid…HUGGING! She continues on with references to UFC (maybe she missed the article this week on a UFC fighter being fired for his joking tweet about a rape van..wow, that’s manly.) She ends with a ‘tongue in cheek’ bit on how all boys should know how to fart on cue; take down a bully and kill bugs – but not hug. *Sigh*
The second piece in the paper was a letter to the editor about how a ‘real man’ would have tried to stop Marc Lepine’s shooting rampage in Montreal. This man ends his letter by saying THAT is the real shame of the Montreal Massacre and of our time. I looked over at Will and thought – really? Is jumping into that situation his responsibility? If I had a daughter – would I want her to be attempting to stop a shooting rampage? As a mother, I’d be shocked if any of the mothers of the victims of the Montreal Massacre blame any man who was at the scene.
Have I missed something? When did the clock start moving backwards? When did we reenter the dark ages of men needing to club men over the head and women needing to be protected by the stronger, tougher sex?
I am a single woman raising a boy. I will feel successful at raising Will to be a man if he is honest and compassionate. If he’s respectful of different cultures. If he is inclusive to all. If he’s a good friend. If he’s able to get love and receive love freely. If he’s able to give something back to his community. If he’s able to make people feel better about themselves.
And you know what Christie Blatchford – my kid’s a hugger and I truly hope he stays that way forever. Because no matter what kind of day someone is having; how sad they are; what they’re going through..a hug makes everyone feel better…feel connected. And that is the meaning to being a man.
I read that article and wanted to vomit. Really Christie? Really?
Anyhoo, you are right on with this post. As Tracey says, I’ll take raising a lover over a fighter any day. Male or female.
Absolutely. If Will turns out that way, he sounds like the kind of man I’d want as a friend or partner for my own kids. You keep on keeping on, lady.
Good for you, lady… I’ll take raising a lover over a fighter any day. 🙂
Brava!
YES
the numbing of our culture is my greatest worry
hugging can solve almost anything
yay, Will. Sara you are raising a human first and I love you for that!
Love the little man pic with hands in pockets!
For the love of God, this is journalism worthy of printing? Apparently so after 850+ comments, give a close-minded person a laptop and watch what happens….
Although I don’t think this “article” is worth my time I will say this, drama writers who attempt to masquerade as journalists annoy me.
Sweeping generalizations about “Toronto boys”, hugging, the old-school ways, contact sports, Hugging(Gasp)….are all here and hmmmm could that have been designed to generate a reaction??
These reporters need to at least try and use more bloody finess if they’re employing these tactics, it becomes insulting in this example.
Just go on and attack Ford, the school system and the parents directly if this is the best example of your persusaion talents.
Oh and boys…mehh they’re awesome and doing well in the city of Toronto as always. Just last month I saw one teen mug another….par for the course I’d say.
Nicely said Sara.
As a single Mom, of a boy and girl, I applaud your article. My job, for both my kids, is to raise happy, loving, self-confident grown-ups who can love themselves and bring joy and support to the people they touch in their lives. My son, who’s eleven, tells me he loves me and hugs me whenever the feeling comes over him. He’s kind to his sister and takes care of her. He has a group of friends who love basketball, video games, hockey and music. They hang-out, laugh, and yes they hug each other when it’s time to go home after an afternoon of fun. My ex-father-in-law tells me that I’m raising a momma’s boy. But for me, his words don’t have any strength considering the “man” he raised doesn’t pay his child support, doesn’t visit with his own children, and considers his music career, and groupie wife, to be more important than his role as a father. That’s not a man. My son is someone I’m proud of and if he continues to grow in the same way he’ll be man he can be proud of.
You’re doing an amazing job with Will. Be proud!
Couldn’t agree more Sara, I think Will is in good hands!!
LOVE this post, Sara! I think the key to being A Man (or A Woman) for that matter is knowing and loving who you are. The rest will fall into place. Everyone is drawn to a person who is comfortable in their own skin. I am sick of the judgment of others and the finger pointing.
Great post! Keep on hugging!