As a father I read something earlier this week that made me feel very proud. A recent survey found that men are more actively involved in their children’s lives than ever before.
Reading something like that makes you feel reassured, in that a lot of us dads are doing the right thing. I will say I was not overly surprised, as I see so many hands-on fathers out there. Nowadays you don’t see too many dad’s saying they’re “baby-sitting” when they’re alone with their kids. In fact, that’s a good tip to any new dads, never ever say you’re baby-sitting your own kids…it’s a bad look.
I don’t like to judge people, nor do I judge generations but it seems many moons ago dads didn’t necessarily do what dads do now. I will say, I had a wonderful influence as my dad was, and still is, a wonderful father. He worked very hard to provide for his family at work and at home. He was very supportive to me, my mum, and my brother, and chipped in with the housework too.
I have 2 boys, who are almost 5 and almost 3, I try to spend as much time with them as possible and we often go out just the three of us. Several of those times, doing the male bonding thing, people have made a comment about what a good job I’m doing. At first I took it as a compliment, but then I thought more about it. Is a dad hanging out and playing with his kids so incredible? Are our standards so low that a dad changing a diaper and kissing their kid in public worthy of being rewarded? I don’t want to get too deep or find something that isn’t there but it has made me wonder in the past. Regardless, it was just nice to have it verified in a recent survey that dads are not only around, but playing a massive part in their children’s lives. As I said, I wasn’t surprised as I work with a lot of guys that have kids and we’re always showing pictures and telling stories of their latest adventures. “Have a look at my daughter at Halloween” or “you won’t believe what my son did last night”…that sort of stuff!
Another part of that survey showed that men are eager to learn about becoming a parent and also where they went to get that information. Many read books about it, but a majority of them asked their parents for advice.
When I found out I was going to be a dad, I read a little bit, took a course and asked my dad a few things. The one thing he did tell me was that I will truly understand what it means to love someone unconditionally when I have a child. Within a minute of my first being born, I soon realized how true that was.
I think with the news of the world we are constantly surrounded by bad news, but reading this survey brought to my attention that it’s not all bad out there. There are tons of great mums and dads in this world who deserve some recognition.
Whether a mum or dad, we are parents. Things like loving, caring, nurturing, worrying, playing, lack-of-sleep-ing, educating, cleaning, supporting…that is what we do.
Good job ya’ll
I agree, Ryan. I think the shift of fathers being more and more hands-on isn’t a “trend” that will ever go away… nor should father’s get all kinds of pats on the back for changing his own kid’s diaper or taking him to the park, right? When we know better, we do better. As it is with all things, practice makes perfect. I think lots of fathers in the past didn’t have an many opportunities (nor was it as expected then) to help with their babies and kids as we find today. It’s a seamless, modern change in the way families are now. And I can certainly dig it. 🙂