So remember at the beginning of December when operation Take Back My Bed started? Well, it’s been a month and a half now and I’m happy to report that it WAS going really well. The kid was actually enticed with just putting a sticker on the fridge. I would say we were running at a 75% success rate (including the really cold night where I brought him into bed with me on purpose because I was freezing…okay yes I know that was dumb…but I swear he is like a hot water bottle!).
Anyway – we were doing great until this week. I decided that it was cold turkey time. Monday night I just kept walking him back to his room saying nope…not going to happen. At one point I lay on his bed and tried not to laugh as he ‘reasoned with me’ aka repeated everything I say to him…
1. Mommy you have to the count of three to go back to your bed….1 – 2 -3
2. Okay I’m starting to get really mad mom. Are you using your listening ears? No you are not.
3. (and my fave – in a really sweet voice) If you go back to your bed now, I will get you a very special treat in the morning….
Half an hour later he was asleep – and I retreated to my bed exhausted but PUMPED that I had won the first battle. You do not own me kid.
Then last night…first there was a night terror and then an hour later he marched down to my bed, tried to get in and announced ‘I don’t want to put a sticker on the calendar.’ BUSTED. Damn.
So. Back to the drawing board. A different incentive until this gets to be habit? Or just full on tough love. I’m going the incentive route – ‘smoobies’ (aka yogurt smoothies…thanks Uncle Ryan) are his current obsession. I told him this morning that he can have one every morning that he sleeps in his own bed the night before. He claims that will start tonight. I think he has farm land to sell me in Florida.
What do you think?
oh Shauna! I feel for you – exhausting and kind of scary since it came out of nowhere.
I know that I would end up just letting him sleep with me until it passes….but I bow to you for standing firm. I wonder what it is! Hang in there – maybe – and this will sound ridiculous but I’m wondering if growth spurts have anything to do with this. I’ve noticed that the last week or so while we’ve been going through hell – Will has been eating like I’ve never seen and I’m wondering if it’s not growht related!
I get the eye as well…ugh….
I like that bribery option and think of the videos that you’ll be collecting!
My 6 year old has a sleeping disorder so it took us 5 years to get it figured out. NOW my 3 yr old has all of a sudden in the last 2 weeks started waking up in a fit, till he pukes. Not night terrors, he just says: he can’t sleep, he doesn’t like his bed, he’s scared, he wants mommy, no I want daddy, I have to pee.
Now he’s the one waking up his older brother!
I’m at a complete loss. If we leave him he cries till he pukes & we live in a duplex so I know hes waking the other side too.
Of course if he can come in my bed all’s good BUT I don’t want to start that habit.
I’ve tried sleeping on his pull out trundle bed so I’m there but not in his bed, NOPE!
No promises of giving him something works.
He was an amazing sleeper till now. Nothing has changed in his routine at all. No major family disruptions. This came completely out of the blue.
I’ve even stopped his afternoon nap with the hope he’ll be tired enough to sleep through the nig
If anyone figures out a solution PLEASE let me know!
Sara! they are smart little cookies aren’t they – just when I think I can pull something over on him he gives me the stinky eye!! I believe its the same stink eye I give me soooo…. how do I stop that?? what’s good for the goose, right? but humph…but I am the parent? Am I not entitled to mastering the stink eye and not have it thrown back at me?? anyhoo back to bedtime struggles.
Sooo…I’ve been thinking of my next bribery option. He loves to video himself and watch it over and over and over and OVER. I believe I will propose a video shoot with props and a penny for the piggy bank (can’t deny him the option of chocolate – that would just be mean!)
what do you think?
Shelley! I’m laughing so hard right now…they are SO smart! I’m back to the drawing board too – the other night he said ‘i don’t want to put a stick er on my fridge’ and got into bed with. I will say – I sort of decided to give up the battle last night and just see what happens – AND HE SLEPT IN HIS OWN BED!!!!!!!!! These freaking kids!
Sara – boy do I feel your pain!! We have resorted to bribery with our 3 year old – and I am OK with it! Everytime our son stays in his bed, he gets a piece of chocolate and a penny for his piggy bank…..it had been working great for the last 7 nights. (we have all been sleep deprived for going on 8months now)
Until just last night…he was up at 2AM in our bed and telling me “he didn’t care about the chocolate but could he still have his penny?” His logic…he can use his coins to buy chocolate. ugh…back to the drawing board! But so proud that he has figured out that he can buy things with his own money!!!
The 4yo still crawl into our bed at least 4 times a week…lemme know what works for you so I can try it 🙂
I moved my kids out of my bed at about 6 months, because I just couldn’t take having extra people in my bed. Instead, if they were in need of comfort, I’d go to them and spend time with them in their room until they (or both of us) fell asleep. The only time one is allowed to sleep with us is the rare bad dream or sickness, but even then, I’ll usually go to them. My own bed is just way too precious to me to give up!
I have also put screen doors on my kids rooms so like Christine and the baby gates, their room becomes their crib/bed. I put them to put with a sippy of water for non-spillage, nightlights, and for the wee one, a potty in the room, so there is also no excuse to venture out. I am pretty serious about them staying in there once bedtime has passed!
we had the nightlight…it got kayboshed for the bedside table lamp…….ugh
thanks Elizabeth…I have friends with that one – I think i’m going to try it out!
Put a babygate on his door. So he can open the door but he can’t get out.
With my guys, at bedtime they didn’t have to stay in bed, but they had to stay in their bedroom. They would play with their toys, look at their books then fall asleep. The odd time I’d find them sleeping on the floor and had to lift them into bed.
what about a nightlight? mine has lots of scary dreams. i started leaving the curtains open a bit to let the street light in and so far so good – but its only been 4 nights…
Sara – our daughter (who will be 3 this March) somehow also got into the unfortunate habit of crawling into our bed at some point each night and we were always too exhausted to fight it. A friend told us about the American Innovative “Teach Me Time Talking Alarm Clock and Nightlight” and it changed our lives (I don’t work for American Innovative, I promise!) At this point we only use the nightlight feature which is yellow all night and then turns green at 7:00 a.m. when our daughter is allowed to get out of bed. We have been using it for nearly two months and she hasn’t gotten out of bed before 7:00 a.m. once since we started using it. We don’t hear anything from her until the light changes and then she calls out “my light is green I can get up now”. I know all kids are different but it really worked for us so I thought I would mention it. We got it at Indigo.
I’m with you – I didn’t need to actually lock them out, but I’m a hard, firm “no” kind of mum. But, you have to do whatever works… hang in there, Sara! He’ll stop eventually… I think…
but yes, the heart attack fear, I get!
I do, I do. we put one of those door closer things on the inside of his door so he can’t use the handle (do you know what I’m talking about). It took a while for him to figure out how to break it off…by the time he did he was used to sleeping in his own bed and hasn’t bothered to come back to us…
oh absolutely we can….and i would do it except he can open his door – and I ahve this very odd fear of having a heart attack or something at night and then he’d be stuck in his room and no one would find him…do you know what I mean??
I’m cold and am pretty sure all commenters will hate me, but I shut my kid’s door so he can’t get out. And he fell asleep on the floor in a fit of rage the first few nights but he has stopped asking to come to bed with us and that’s really important to me. No bribes/rewards. Just a big old no and that’s it. (unless Z is sick, then that’s a different story…). Can we still be friends?
You’re not going to like it but I say, snuggle him all night every night! My sweet, sensitive, kind boy was (and still is at 12) a terrible sleeper. It just gets better over time. This way there is no drama, just comfort and love when he needed it.
But really? Do what feels right. If you need that time or if you aren’t sleeping well with him in your bed do what you need to do. Good luck with the Smoobies!