I wanted a boy. I’ve told you this before. It’s no secret. I always considered myself a tomboy and thought what the hell would I do if I had a girl? The day I found out Will was a boy was a happier day for me than when I found out I was pregnant. Seriously. That’s when I cried tears of joy (well, I cried harder when I found out he was only a singleton). My only fear having a boy as a single woman was who was going to teach him to pee standing up. The rest – noooo problem.
Oh how wrong I was. Sure, I was a tomboy. But I was not a boy. Allow me to list for you the things that I have learned about that I had no clue before having a boy!
a. Dinosaurs. Did you know that an anklysaurus has a hard back and can take on a T-Rex with one swipe of his mighty tail? Yeah me neither. Now I do.
b. Trucks. Did you know it’s a crime to call a backhoe a digger? This will be met with a look of total disgust.
c. Star Wars. Are you kidding me? I don’t know who lives on the Death Star. I don’t. But I can do the grave site scene in Steel Magnolias word for word. Who is cooler kid? Yeah. You.
NO. ME. “Are you HIGH Clarree??
d. Mario Brothers. Please. What? Is it a video game? I have no idea. I now know that Mario and Luigi are brothers AND somehow Donkey Kong is involved. When I told the kid I was more of a Ms. PacMan person, he looked at me like I was speaking spanish.
e. Hands in the Pants. I’m just randomly adding this because I’m trying to decide what I say more – ‘get your hands out of your pants’ or ‘turn it down’. Honestly though. You’d think the kid was the first one to discover a penis.
And the newest? Monsters Trucks. We saw a commercial on TV the other day for the Maple Leaf Monster Jam Tour coming up at the Rogers Centre in Toronto and the kid got as excited as I would if they said it was a George Clooney marathon on W.
I’m totally brushing up on my terminology. Grave Digger. Northern Nightmare. Backdraft. Wait a minute – is Billy Baldwin driving that one? I’m in!
Anyway! If your kid is into Monster Trucks, head down to the Rogers Centre this January 19th and 20th (tickets at ticketmaster.ca). Look for Will and me. He’ll be the one jumping around and yelling and I’ll be the one listening to the Les Mis soundtrack on my phone. I’m officially retiring the ‘tomboy’ handle.
Hey Sara, Happy New Year to you and Will. Arielle and I went to Monster Jam last year and this year I parlayed it into a client event so we are going again but this time in a box! You can buy headphones there for Will if you like, the ear coverings are shaped like wheels! Either way bring ear protection for both of you….it is truly an assault on the senses. Also be prepared for massive crowds, traffic and limited parking options if you’re driving. We’ll be there Sunday for the 2:00 show.
I’d rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special!
We should play the old ladies in a play of the movie!
OMG!!! Lily!! Good one – well bad one – NO … how the hell do you use one?!?!??!
I had boys too. And thought I had it all figured out until their first day of t-ball. Do you know how to work an athletic supporter?
OMG! Re: Mario Bros, I just had a flashback of my early 20s…Jen, Erin and I all shared a house, and we spent hour upon hour trying to beat the Super Mario Bros game on Nintendo 64. I don’t remember if we ever did beat it, but I remember we would sit the three of us on the old orange couch and cheer each other on. Erin was particularly good at evading ghosts in the haunted castle if I remember correctly.
And then Jen and I spent hours with our cousin Margot playing Zelda on the N64.
I think I may have wasted my youth.
HA! I have 2 girls and we have a), c) and d) covered here. Well to be honest my daughters hate Star Wars but I am a total geek so I know it myself and – well – I might have known the stuff about the dinosaurs all by myself too.
I actually mentioned my sincere desire to become a palaeontologist to my guidance counselor in high school (LOL, Mr Smith I think). He told me he didn’t think many girls took that (oh yes he did!) and that’s partly how I wound up majoring in English at University!
Who’s the tomboy now, eh?
Oh… boys. I know. I mean, I DIDN’T know, but now I do… it’s pretty fun. I feel fortunate that I’ve actually managed to escape knowing about All. The. Trucks. (Dude, I don’t even drive!) but I reckon it’s all good. 😉
Oh, and you are a PIG from HELL, Edith!!
My kids went two yrs ago..my cousin took them and they had a blast!! Be prepared to pay $20 for a Grave Digger sword and pack him ear plugs because its reaaly loud!! Or better yet, pack yourself some!! I told my kids I beat the Super Mario game on The Gameboy! Then I had to explain to them what that was!! They just been introduced to the “retro” pacman game their cousin has…they say its boring all you do is eat pills mom!! As for the hand down the pants I aways say “yup its still there, he’s your toy forever!” Then they laugh and stop..