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You are here: Home / Parenting / Humour / foreplay

foreplay

August 30, 2010 by Nancy

There is much discussion about the importance of foreplay in relationships. There is also much confusion as  the textbooks leave out the larger more important list as well as attempting to re establish  several well worn myths.

Here it is boys, a partial list-
-You cannot say “I love you” too many times. Ditto, you are so beautiful, you look great today, you are amazing and I can’t believe how much you achieve in a day (if you like your life,  do not ever use a sarcastic tone while stating).
-Do what you say you are going to do. Follow through is like a love potion.
-Clean the kitchen, cook a meal, do the laundry without sighing, narration or expectation of a sticker. Unsolicited completion of domestic chores is sexually stimulating.
-A mud room is not just a mud room. It is sexy in a daily mind blowing way. It trumps walk in closet and soaker tub. If you are going to build anything, start with the most erogenous zone of the house-the MUD ROOM. With all those shoes and coats lined up, she will only have sex on her mind.
-Find our G spot. G stands for getting us coffee, garbage out without request, make us giggle with that sense of humour, and for goodness sake, tell us we are gorgeous. We will go weak in the knees.
 
-pay attention to things that interest us. Never say “I don’t understand it- it is her thing”. Find out what excites her in her life and she will beg for more in the bedroom. Being interested is not the same as doing everything together- you don’t have to hang out in her back pocket just find out what’s in there. Paying attention is wildly sexy.
– Use these words when the two of you talk- “tell me more”, “I am listening”, and “I understand”. Fake it when you have to but try hard to keep it real. Women do not need solutions, we need to be heard. Hear us and we will eat you alive.
-Ask us about that little or big thing we told you was coming up. We will greet you at the door with nothing on but oven mitts and a tray of canape.
-little tiny kindnesses go a long way. A little note, a funny email, a ‘I saw this and thought of you’, or  a small bouquet of flowers (see below) will make us crazy for you.wagonflowers.jpg nothing like getting this advice from the divorced chick (what could she know?). Send me your ideas-we will compile a list for all refridgerators across the country.

Filed Under: Humour, Sex

Comments

  1. Debbie Cee says

    August 11, 2013 at 12:50 am

    btw … now that we are divorced, I have FOUR out of nine. A day late, as they say, and a dollar short.

  2. Debbie Cee says

    August 11, 2013 at 12:48 am

    From one divorced chick to another: If I had ONE or TWO out of these nine points, I probably would have stayed in the marriage. I had ZERO out of nine. The rest, as they say, is history. xox love ya nance xox

  3. Alice says

    July 31, 2013 at 3:14 am

    Staying in touch and connecting regularly is really nice – but space to miss you a bit once in a while is important, too. I can’t be with ANYONE 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

  4. Shawn says

    September 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

    Yeah, I’ve got an opinion on this for sure!

  5. Erin Little says

    September 1, 2010 at 6:46 am

    LOVE this post, so true! I certainly don’t feel like doing anything but sleep when I come home, clean up, cook dinner, put kids to bed, do some work, etc.
    My husband is working on the cleaning, dinner part and the improvement is definitely making me happier and more relaxed. I show him this post for some of the other tips.
    I think Shawn needs to write a similar post for us moms! Hope you read this Shawn.

  6. barb says

    August 31, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Love this foreplay and can’t believe how many options there are!
    Here’s a few more for the list….
    An impromtu evening of fun including billeting the kids out to family and friends
    Taking on extra kids for a weekend to ensure all the girlfriends make the ever important girls weekend

  7. Jen says

    August 31, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Arrange a babysitter all on your own. Who cares what you plan for the evening after that!

  8. Anonymous says

    August 31, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Nancy
    I love this post. We have talked about how much men can make us weak at the knees by the simplest phrase, look, tone of voice. Here are some of my faves
    You are hot
    You are sexy
    Your ass is incredible (fill in whatever body part works – be kind!)
    You are the most beautiful woman in the room
    I want you ……. (this is my absolute favourite)
    What are you thinking? This comes in close second
    Tell her what you love about her – you are funny, sensitive, smart, intelligent, warm, a lovely smile…. Lots of options.

  9. Anonymous says

    August 31, 2010 at 9:47 am

    plan an impromptu event – a concert, a day by the water, and take care of the details,
    Sam

  10. Nancy says

    August 31, 2010 at 9:19 am

    yes- these are magic words and defintely work for me. Thanks Christine- he should be proud of you!

  11. Christine says

    August 31, 2010 at 12:55 am

    Oh Nancy – this is fantastic!
    One thing Sean does that makes me fall in love all over again is when he tells me he’s “proud” of me.
    The WAY he says it – genuine – is what makes me weak for him!

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