How are you with old people? I’m not talking 70’s old or even 80’s old. I mean those really old people. How comfortable are your kids around these nonagenarians and centenarians? (Yeah I googled that).
Are your kids comfortable with the old folks?
I’ve spent a lot of time with the old folks. When we were kids, my great-grandmother, Nanner, lived with us for a bit. We used to battle to get to eat dinner with her because she had a TV in her room. She moved into a home where she was cared for round the clock. I used to go with my mom to visit her and I’d end up playing cards with the nurses around the kitchen table. Those memories are vivid. She died at 101 or 102.
After my mom died, I spent ten years looking after my grandmother. That was from years 93 – 103. We saw it all. Dementia, broken bones, severe hallucinations, a move and ultimately, a fairly peaceful death in her sleep. Will did get to meet her and he claims to remember her, which while adorable, is impossible.
On the weekend, Will and I went to visit my step-grandfather. He is 96 (I think) and lives in a veterans wards at a Toronto hospital. When we walked in, I was overcome with memories of my grandmother. It’s that smell of urine, stiff cleansers and, I don’t know how to explain it except to say, age. For me, it was familiar and not entirely revolting. And for him? He just strutted around that place like he owned it.
We sat with John and Will showed him his art work book from JK. (John is an artist and still works in paint, wood or glass 6 days a week!) And Will yammered his ear off about this and that. John just smiled and maybe took in a quarter of it. I decided then and there that this has to happen more often. At Will’s age, there is no strangeness to it. But I think as kids get older, if they aren’t exposed to old people, they get weird about being around them. Visiting John is also a history lesson. The place is full of memorabilia from the Wars and he was already asking me all about it. It’s important. I’m going to make it happen. Not every weekend but way more often.
I’m thinking if I wear ear plugs, Will could talk to John for an hour and maybe, just maybe, I could go an hour on a weekend without hearing the words Scooby Doo! It’s sort of a win-win? No?
What about you and your kids? Do you have seniors in your life? Do you think it’s important?
Aw, this is so timely Sara. My grandmothers both passed away recently (within the last 6 months) and I sometimes I think about how my future kids won’t have that exposure to that generation at all. They were amazing people, having gone through the holocaust, the depression, and just life, 80+ years of it. So much to learn from them, we really do need to reach out to them more. Good for you for giving Will that experience! You seem like an awesome Mom.
Sadly my kids don’t have much exposure to the older generation; even their own grandparents. We live far away from extended family so they see their grandparents once or twice a year (it was much more often when my mom was alive but alas…)
I agree that the world would be a better place if the generations intermingled more…I remember my relationships with my grandparents and a particular great aunt being very important to me, and it’s just not the same for my own children.
We don’t have any *really* old kids in our lives… and I agree – I think it gets harder for most people to relate to old kids if they’ve not been exposed from the onset. It’s nice that Will has people of all ages in his life to be with. A great kid, he is!!
my gramma ended up in a home but my youngest refused to go see her there…and i kind of don’t blame her. there was a bit of dementia going on and very little to talk about. i also didn’t push it since i didn’t want those to be the last memories of her great grandmother.
i love that pic of your gramma and will! she’s loving every minute of that 🙂