So I haven’t been immune to all the talk on parenting sites and the media in general about screens, and the inordinate amount of time we spend on them. It’s just that I was never all that inclined to do much about my own use of screens (Facebook! Pinterest! iPhone in bed!) or the amount of time my kids spent on their screens.
But a few weeks ago I sat down with my daughter who suffers from severe anxiety disorders and we crafted a routine that we both thought would be most conducive to helping her manage her anxiety and return to regular, full-time attendance at school (school avoidance/refusal is the last and most intransigent of her many symptoms).
Surprisingly, my little social media addict (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Skype) suggested dialling back her online time as part of this pro mental health agenda. I readily agreed. So now, instead of my kids having essentially unlimited screen time (except when I would realize how long they’d been on, shake my head and yell at them to get off), they now have a much more restricted schedule.
Rule number one is that my older daughter has no access to electronics — none whatsoever — on days she misses school due to anxiety. It’s called minimizing secondary gain and to be honest, I was already doing it to a degree most of the time. That means I pack up the MacBook, iPad, 3DS, iPod, cell phone, portable DVD player, power cord for the iMac and the power bar that supplies electrons to our TV, cable box, XBox and Wii, and then I take it all to work. Plus as a bonus I assign her schoolwork to help combat the near-Amish boredom (occupational perk of being a teacher and a mom!).
But on her successful days (fingers crossed there will be more of these), she gets to go online after school until dinner. Given her bus schedule and my work schedule, that’s usually between an hour and an hour and a half. Plus, twice a week she has cheerleading practice so she gets no time those days as we have to leave for the gym the second we both get home.
After dinner, we either go for a walk, go to the YMCA or just veg out with TV or a book. Either way, the internet is off-limits after supper.
When we first crafted this schedule I was, to say the least, skeptical. I knew it would work for a day or two and then I fully expected slippage. Well, to be honest, I expected begging, cajoling, bargaining, sneaking and possibly an ultimatum or two. But (knock wood) so far, so good. As I sit here writing this, my daughters are sitting — happily and miraculously getting along and drawing at the kitchen table.
Turns out that pulling back from screens has had some pretty awesome benefits for this family. Here’s some of the artwork they created! #proudludditemommy
Maddy, my little mind-reader and inspirational speaker, drew this picture of the beach in Monterey, with the caption “It’s going to be OK”. God, I love that kid.
Charlotte likes to draw anime portraits…brilliant, that one.
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