Lately, the news has been breaking my heart.
The Tori Stafford trial has me switching the news off, whether my kids are in earshot or not. My mum told yesterday the news correspondents were live tweeting from inside the courtroom. Graphic details of this child’s last moments. Why?
I don’t want to hear the details. I don’t want to know. Why would anyone?
I don’t want my kids to know about it, but they need to.
Or they need to know something. Or do they? How much?
Or they need to know something. Or do they? How much?
I don’t know…I don’t want them to know that such evil exists.
I don’t want them to know that such horrifying, deplorable things have happened to little kids like them.
I can’t even wrap my head around it.
They do not need to know details.
I just need to arm them with knowledge and awareness and hope that they use good judgement and learn to follow their instincts.
I don’t want them to know that such horrifying, deplorable things have happened to little kids like them.
I can’t even wrap my head around it.
They do not need to know details.
I just need to arm them with knowledge and awareness and hope that they use good judgement and learn to follow their instincts.
I wonder if my deep rooted maternal anxiety comes from growing up when I did.
Is it me or was the 80’s was a terrible decade for child abductions and murders?
I don’t think I was shielded from any of it. Mind you, the internet didn’t exist and information was much more limited back then but I was a kid obsessed with reading. I was constantly reading and I read the Toronto Sun every Sunday. Maybe not a great idea…
Looking back, I often wonder how my parents dealt with it. Did they ever feel the paranoia I sometimes feel?
I will never forget the names of those kids that I read about. Many of them were my age or very close to my age when they were murdered so it struck a heavy chord.
I don’t think I was shielded from any of it. Mind you, the internet didn’t exist and information was much more limited back then but I was a kid obsessed with reading. I was constantly reading and I read the Toronto Sun every Sunday. Maybe not a great idea…
Looking back, I often wonder how my parents dealt with it. Did they ever feel the paranoia I sometimes feel?
I will never forget the names of those kids that I read about. Many of them were my age or very close to my age when they were murdered so it struck a heavy chord.
Sharin’ Morningstar Keenin – 1983 9yrs old
Christine Jessop – 1984 9yrs old
Nicole Morin – 1985 8yrs old
Alison Parrot – 1986 – 11yrs old
Christopher Stephenson – 1988 11yrs old
Nicole Morin I have never forgotten about. Vanished without a trace. How does that happen?
Christopher Stephenson was abducted from the same mall we shopped at. From the same store we shopped in…
The 90’s were just as heartbreaking.
Andrea Atkinson – 1990 6yrs old
Kayla Klaudusz – 1991 3yrs old
Leslie Mahaffy – 1991 14yrs old
Kristen French – 1992 15yrs old
Sharmini Anandavel – 1999 15yrs old
Holly Jones – 2003 10yrs old
Cecelia Zhang – 2003 9yrs old
My worst fear.
Those parents reality.
I wonder how they’ve all gone on after such horrific circumstances.
I wonder how they’ve all gone on after such horrific circumstances.
What do we tell our children to make them aware and to keep them safe yet not drive a wedge of fear between them and the innocence of their childhood?
Campbell is at the age where we are giving him much more freedom than before. We have to let him make good decisions. We have to let him know we trust him. He spent last Saturday afternoon on Main St with his friends. No adults. It’s a great social experience and also a great money management experience – learn to spend wisely. I was comfortable because there was such a large group.
His rules are to always have a buddy with him if he’s going beyond our subdivision.
He is to always check in anytime his location changes, if he goes from one friends to another.
He is to always check in anytime his location changes, if he goes from one friends to another.
Strangers are not creepy looking people. A stranger is someone you don’t know. Plain and simple. Don’t talk to a stranger who approaches you. Keep going. An adult will never need a child’s help. Especially an adult you don’t know.
That said, I don’t want him paranoid. I want him aware. It’s a tough balance.
How do you balance that? Do you talk to your children about these issues? What do you tell them?
Thanks for this. I am distraught over the details of this story. Although I’m not sleeping as I think about Tori’s last hours and how horrifying it was, I find these details unfortunately have me thinking about how to protect my kids as much as possible. Even with Christine Jessop being my stepdad’s cousin and always remembering the pain that he went through thinking about her, I find Tori’s story so graphic that again, unfortunately it’s really hitting home and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop and ways I can try to keep my kids safe. Thanks for the ideas listed above.
I think Rodney Stafford is the bravest man. To sit and listen to that testimony, then to face the media to get his message out to help ensure the case is about Tori is very honorable. Hugs to Tori’s family and all of the families dealing with unimagineable loss like this. I can’t write what I hope happens to the animals that cause this unnecessary harm.
i think i saw something on oprah a long time ago that scared the crap out of me and it was before kids. the filmed the parents asking pretty much what chantel just said about the puppies and all the kids said, “don’t go with them, tell a grown up, run…” and then all the kids went to a park to play and the parents went inside. then a “stranger”…someone affiliated with the show….went up to one of the children and asked them if they’d help them find a puppy. the kid stood up and said, “yup” and walked off. the camera followed them for 2 blocks! the parents were hysterical and upped the streetproofing!
Christine those names are buried in my mind as well – growing up in Toronto it was so close to home and like you some of them were close to if not the same age.
I don’t give all my children the details but I don’t sugar coat it either. With so much knowledge and the internet now it is hard not to shield them as much as we would like to. I go through senerios with my children. For example knowing that little Tori was lured away by the promise of seeing a puppy I asked my daughter age 8 what she would do if a female, or a teenager or anybody asked her to help them find their puppy or if she wanted to see theirs etc.. I have explained to my kids that NO adult, or teenager should be asking a child for help – if they are something is not right and to leave immediately.
Like you this I am sickened by this trial – it is horrible and to know that a female so young was in on it makes it worse – we tend to view the sickos as males but the truth is it could be anyone – a female, male old young even a teenager. As parents we can’t wrap them in bubble wrap but we can only hope that they take the knowledge we give them and use their best judgement.
Thanks for a great post reminding us all of these innocent children whose lives were taken way to early.
My little girl is almost Tori Staffords age…I’ve been following the trial too as I was one of the many many who hoped this child came home safe 🙁 they should consider bringing back the death penalty for creatures who hurt little kids like these sick people.
I too explained to my daughter that adults should be asking adults for help, not kids and if it ever happens to run away and find help. It’s hard to try and educate without scaring but reality is just that – scary.
I cry for all these poor innocent babies who had their lives taken.
I tell my daughter (11 years old) pretty much everything too. She may only be 11 but she is very mature for her age and honestly, I want her to know that evil does exist. Just last week we received two letters from school about a male in a white van trying to abduct a student from her school. Two days in a row, two different girls, same age as my daughter, same school, same way home. That is scary. I am so glad she walks with a group and has her phone with her.
Talking with my 7 year old son about stranger danger, when I asked if he would go with someone on our street, who we don’t know,(distant neighbor) he replied “Yes, that is being a good neighbor”! Yikes, we talked and talked and hopefully it has set in. Even his sister asks him questions now, just so we know he gets it!!
Strangers are out there ready to pounce, but don’t forget sometimes these strangers are people we know and are already in our neighbourhoods! It is a scary world out there and it too makes me sad, mad and anxious!!
I was going to college when Kristen French & Leslie Mahaffy disappeared. I drove back & forth daily….my Mom was scared….It was way too close to home. It was the reason I got my first “car bag phone” (the predecessor of the cells we have today). It was scary…I had always grown up knowing not to go anywhere with strangers because of my Dad’s job. He was a bank manager…we were trained that we did NOT go with ANYONE other than our parents or if it happened to be someone else & was unplanned, they had to know the password or we didn’t go. I will teach my daughter the same thing. If they don’t know the password, she doesn’t go. It kept us safe….
The trial is HORRIBLE & I don’t think they should be releasing the details. I did hear her father say something to the effect of “…if it saves one child then it’ll be worth it…”.
I just don’t know what the world is coming to…it makes me very sad….
I can’t bring myself to watch the news at night… it invades my sleep, so I try never to watch or read that stuff before bed.
I’ve scanned a few articles about Tori Stafford’s case, and I shut the paper and want to vomit. I don’t want to hear the details either. Awful. Brutal.
My son is eight years old, and we’re loosening the tether bit by bit, but you’re right – there’s a tough balance between not wanting to freak them out completely, and making them aware… I don’t share the details of this stuff with him. I want him to keep hit wits about him, wear his watch and not come home a minute later than is allowed… bit by bit.
Makes me want to cry, actually. 🙁
I tell my older daughter everything I hear about. Better scared than sorry. She is 16 and able to handle it. And talk to her friends about it. They all have to know.
The young one? She is 10. It’s hard, but I have to tell her. Something, maybe not everything. It helps being a little shy and not talking to strangers. It doesn’t help whan she is very kind and thoughtful, always ready to help! Balance is everything. Tell her enough to make her aware, but not all to give her nightmares…
If the kids are walking by themselves to and from school, ask someone they don’t know to stop the car and ask them something. Follow them and see what they are doing. Of course, they should not even stop to answer that person.
Ask a distant neighbor to stop and offer them a ride. Hope they don’t get in the car even if they know them.
Ask someone they know very well to pick them up from school and go to their place. They should contact you first, even if they use to play together with that person’s kids every week.
Safety rules have to be repeated often, even if they don’t make sense for them.
There’s safety in numbers. And also in following your kids to the mall.