It’s begun. My daughter is now in the “brutally honest” phase of her life. I anticipate good times and laughs ahead.
Here’s the scenario. It’s shortly after a delicious pasta lunch. Pea and I are playing together on the floor in fairly close proximity. As I explained to her how she might go about building a castle with some blocks, I noticed a sour look on her face. I kept talking, but her crinkled up nose did not disappear.
Then, without warning, she struck the first insulting blow in our relationship:
Pea – “Daddy, P.U.”Me – “What’s that, sweetie?”Pea – “Daddy P.U.”Me – “P.U.? Did you fart?”Pea – “No.”Me – “Then what’s so stinky?”Pea – “Daddy P.U.”
Then it hit me. Garlic bread. Pasta sauce. It all had just a bit too much garlic for Pea’s liking, and she wasn’t pulling any punches.
I ran for the toothbrush. Order was restored.
This particular instance was private (fortunately) and hilarious. But I know it won’t be all laughs and tomfoolery. I’m sure the first time Pea makes an awkward reference to someone’s weight, race or physical appearance on some form of public transportation, I won’t be laughing. Quite the opposite, I’m sure – I’ll be looking for a big enough barrel to throw myself over Niagara Falls.
So I’m reaching out to my urbanmoms to help me prepare for the inevitable. Let me know what awkward moments you’ve faced alongside a curious child, and what logical explanation you managed to muster. If you failed miserably, let me know what you wished you’d said instead.
With Pea’s curious nature, I can use all of the advice I can get.
Shawn,
Here is one with one of my kids http://www.urbanmoms.ca/multiple_musings/2010/07/from-the-mouths-of-babes.html but my funniest story was when I was traveling with my little brother.
He would have been about 4 or 5 so I was 13 or 14. We were on a bus with standing room only and we were amongst the standers. Andrew pinched a man’s butt! When the man turned around to see who the culprit was, I was the one he looked at because Andrew was under his radar. Very Embarrassing.
Dear, Dear Shawn,
I can tell you a thing or two about the cold truth that comes out of a childs mouth.
One day my daughter (Jenn) and I where going out on a shopping trip. When we got to the bus stop, I realized that all I had was enough change for one adult but no change for my 5 year old. So being stuck in a pinch I asked her to tell the bus driver(should he inquire) that she was 4. Well, we got on the bus and everything was going well. The bus driver asked her, “And how old are you little one?”. “Four”, she said to him. “And when will you be 5”? “When I get off the bus” was her answer. Enough said? All I can say is that she makes me laugh and she can make me cry, but, I wouldn’t chance one single moment with her. I love them all very much.
Just recently my daughter and I were in a ladies’ clothing store, and the sales clerk came up to greet us. While the clerk was walking away but still in earshot, DD proclaimed LOUDLY (while pointing!!) “That lady has a really big bum!”. I couldn’t think of anything to do or say other than just plain leave.
(as a side note, she was right, it was really big, but that’s irrelevant here!!)
The worst for me, though, is when she comments on someone of a different race, especially when she points. I never know how to respond. She simply notices that someone’s skin or dress is different from her own, perfectly normal, but I never know if her noticing these things will offend someone. I try to explain that everyone is different, kinda like her hair is blonde and mine is dark, but in the moment she forgets. It’s a hard one!
OMG…laughing at the “shit in the tub”!!! LOLOLOLOL!
Cuyler has asked on several occasions “Does he have a baby in his tummy? Hey – do you have a baby in your tummy?”
Yes. He. He has asked overweight MEN if they are pregnant.
He has also asked overweight women if they are pregnant.
He has told people pretty abruptly “Go away! You smell!!” for the same reason Pea did – onions/garlic/caesar salad is very offensive to his olfactory system.
I’m not sure how to get him to be more polite about it, but we’re working on it.
Eva asked very loudly this morning at the grocery store “Why is that lady talking funny??” when in fact that lady was just talking Spanish.
And Cam…we also were pretty liberal with our language when he was little. He was just about 3y/o and announced out of nowhere, to my mom “My Dad says I can say fuckinsakes when I go to high school. Ok Nana?”
Out of the mouths of babes!
I have always been less than cautious then I should be when it comes to using “bad” words, even when my kids were small. Those kids, they love to mimmick. On one occasion we were out for acSaturday tour of model homes…in dreamland of course as we were very young and most of the time experiencing negative cash flow. My son was 3, I was pregnant and we were viewing a very luxurious master bath as a woman and her mother were selecting tiles for her newly purchased home.
Above the soaker tub was a much neglected fern that had begun to shed. Upon noticing this, my son said “mummy, look at all the shit in the tub”.
We left.