Reflections- 10 Years of Motherhood

And the whole thing just seems inconceivable. For one thing, I can’t seem to accept the fact that I am not 19 anymore. I can’t believe that I am actually old enough to have a child in the double digits let alone that so much time has passed.

On the flip side, I barely remember and can hardly relate to myself pre-motherhood. I look back and I see someone who looks like me (without the gray) but who seems ages away, hardly recognizable.

My husband and I often joke, what the hell did we do with ourselves before we had kids?! But really the question should be who the hell was I before I had kids?! I honestly can’t imagine. What was important to me – besides myself and, I guess my husband, and maybe my job but really, mostly myself? I obviously remember a time before I had kids. I have some great memories but these are of people and places. But in the end, it was all about me.

I look back and am so grateful for everything I’ve gained over the last 10 years. Not only do I have two amazing kids but I have a richer life and a deeper, more generous self. As my focus turned outward to my kids and my family my world became so much richer and rewarding. It is truly amazing to see that in the last 10 years I have been far less selfish yet I have never been so fulfilled and satisfied.

So, for my first 10 years of motherhood that is my big lesson. I don’t resent the change of focus my life has taken. I embrace it. Because the rewards have been fulfillment beyond my greatest imaginings.

Happy 10th Birthday to my baby, my Sweet Pea and thank you. Thank you for teaching your mother about love and life and all the things that really matter.