I had to share this with you. Today I got a call from a newspaper asking for my perspective on a current issue related to children. They wanted a quote from me as, get this, “a parenting expert“. Wtf?! I just about choked. Me? An expert on parenting? Um, no. No. No. And a big fat NO. So, I laughed heartily, apologized, and gave her the contact information of someone who may actually be able to provide what they were looking for.
But how did this happen? I write a blog and own a mom website and suddenly I am an expert? Yikes. Scary stuff. The crazy thing is that I have been feeling the total opposite lately so this was like some sick joke.
I am going to come totally clean with all of you because I know you can relate and I think it’s important to make sure everyone knows I am just a regular mom. Yesterday my daughter had a major meltdown. Crying, flailing, yelling. All the fun stuff. As she was, as her big brother says, “spazzing out” I, wait for it…here it comes…I cried. Yup, me. The Parenting Expert. I broke down and sobbed. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t know how to help her. I couldn’t make her feel better. It was just too hard and I lost it. She, of course, was totally devastated which only added to the momentum of the meltdown.
So, when I got that call today, I really did laugh-out-loud. And then I asked myself, how can any parent really call themselves an expert? I mean honestly, I was way more of an expert before I had kids. I knew exactly what to do and my kids would be perfectly reasonable and well behaved at all times. They would sleep through the night from 3 weeks on. They would be happy and easy going and would do anything for their mom. But when you actually inject a few real little people into the picture it gets a bit messed up and now I am sometimes overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. Plus, often it is clear that there are actually no simple solutions or really, no solution at all. Because these are people and as much as I would like to, I can’t control them.
So, just to be clear. I am no parenting expert. In fact, I could use a little advice myself right about now.
I love that they came to you as a parenting expert…because really I find my best resource are not the so-called “parenting experts” in the magazines or on TV, but my friends who are also parents. This is a great community to support moms/parents, so why not see you in that role?
Now that I have lived through 14+ months as a father, I completely agree with your statement “how can any parent really call themselves an expert”… what you know and understand about your kid will be foreign territory to someone else, so you can really never be an expert on all things kid.
Besides, calling yourself an expert on such an unscientific subject seems a little odd… there are no right or wrong answers, I am told over and over again. It’s all guesswork.
Every time I think I have something figured out, where I start to get comfortable and confident with myself and my abilities, my daughter changes all the rules and we start all over from square one. As I see it, the only expert is my daughter. She’s doing a perfect job at being a kid.
Been there, done that!
Of course maybe melting down was not the best thing… but maybe… someday in the future, she’ll have kids and melt down and remember you did once too. Maybe she won’t be so hard on herself knowing that we all have melt down moments. I remember my mom having them, she was not perfect. I’m not either. You aren’t, and I’ll bet your daughter will make a mistake or two as well.
You actually are an expert, we all are. My Mom taught me that. My pediatrician taught my mom that. Trust your instincts! You know your child.
Here’s to better days!
you got it wrong..I’ve seen you in the school yard.you are expert because your children respect you….and that is the key