This post was inspired in part by our Teacher, Cayla’s, recent post: The Dos and Don’ts of How to be Involved in Your Child’s School Life.
I have always been a working parent and, overall, my philosophy when it comes to my children is one of “let them figure it out.” I think this builds confidence and makes them more capable of standing on their own two feet. And I see this happening already.
Because I work I have rarely had an opportunity to volunteer at the school. I do what I can and what feels right but I respect the fact that this is their space and I feel confident that most things can be dealt with by them or by the school if necessary. I would never be accused of being a Helicopter Parent.
However, starting last year one of my children needed me to be a bit more involved. She didn’t realize this and, the truth is, I didn’t recognize it until it was probably a little too late because my instinct was to let her sort it out herself. So now I know I need to be more tapped in with her teacher and we have some ground to make up. I am not too concerned about it in the long run, however, I am new at getting involved and I am feeling somewhat uncomfortable.
Up until now I have had no need to be in the school or to talk regularly with any of the teachers. But now that I do I am at a loss. How involved should I be? What should I expect from the school? When do I need to step in and when do I need to back down?
At what point do I go from my child’s advocate to Helicopter Parent? I see now that there is a fine line between the two. I don’t want to be overly involved as I want my children to feel confident in their abilities. But, I also don’t want to leave them floundering, their actions misinterpreted and misunderstood. This is new territory for me.
I could never relate to other moms who were so on top of their kids’ lives. But now I kind of get it. These are my babies and I know that no matter how a teacher feels about my child and how open they are to helping, they just don’t feel the same way I do. They can’t.
I love my child more than anything. And even more importantly, I also know my child and understand my child in a way very few others do. So, I think it is important for me to be involved to shed some light in order to put things in perspective. But this is a bit of a moving target and finding the balance is not easy. Schools are full of children who all have needs and there are rules and every child is unique so my child’s needs can’t be the only consideration.
So, what do I do? How do I remain respectful of the school while still advocating for my child? How do I bring value to the conversation and, ultimately, help my child without overstepping?