Today we said goodbye to Bear. I won’t go into the details but, suffice it to say, it was not easy. She had been with us for years and was a fixture in our family. We broke the news to the kids last night and, in a flurry of tears and heartbreak, we said our goodbyes. We took pictures and my daughter even drew one to remember her by.
My son was so angry with me for being the one to take her today. It didn’t matter that she was sick or that my husband and I had come to this decision together. It was my fault. I decided last night that it sucks being a grown-up. There is no target for my anger and fear. I have no one else to blame. I am The Mom. I am the one to do the jobs no one else has the courage or strength to do. I am the one who takes care of things despite my own sadness.
So today, alone with my old friend, I comforted her through her last breath. Despite the knot in my stomach and the tears streaming down my face I held her and snuggled her until she passed away. I told her we loved her and told her I was sorry. I stayed with her until the end. It was the least I could do for an old friend.
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I’m sorry, Jen. We’re bracing ourselves for the same thing with our dear old kitty, too. And there’s just no easy way through it, is there?
so sorry for your loss, jen. what a beautiful kitty.
So sorry you have to go through this. No matter the kind of pet, they are always a member of the family and having to explain the loss to kids is so hard – it’s hard enough for us adults. And to be the one to make the decision isn’t easy, no matter how logical and humane. Don’t you wish they could just tell you when they want to go? I wish you peace and strength to help get you and your kids through this. These are the times when I just want my Mom…
Oh how sad. I just lot my cat, Kitty, who I had for 21 of my 25 years. It was heartbreaking even at 25 (especially to find out she died three days before my wedding and they didn’t tell me until three days after… for the best I’m sure).
Being a mom is a tough job eh!?
xo
No holding back the tears here. It’s difficult enough to lose a pet but when you have to make the decision, it’s tremendously difficult. We had to make the same decision two years ago with one of our kitties and I still think about her and that moment all the time.
You’re a strong and caring mom. You made an important and difficult decision. Your family will have great memories of Bear.
I am so sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat down just before my son was born. After 16 years together it was one of the most difficult things I ever did. I have a great book from my childhood that helps kids understand and get through this kind of loss, it is “The Tenth Good Thing About Barney”
By Judith Viorst, Erik Blegvad
“Barney was a cat. He died last Friday. And everyone was sad. They did what most people do when a cat they like dies. They had a funeral. And then they tried to think of good things about him. They wanted to remember him as he was; and they thought about some other things, too. Whenever a cat dies, or a dog, or a bird, or any friend, it can be a little like this story about Barney. since dying is as usual as living, it’s good to know about him.”
Maybe reading this book with your son may help him with some of his feelings (?)
Jen, I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where you are and you are right – it sucks!
I’m sorry Jen, it’s never easy letting go of a loved one. Bear was lucky to have you with him. It does suck to have no one to direct your anger at doesn’t it? Hugs from me and John.
My condolences on your loss. It is never easy to say goodbye to a beloved pet.
I wonder if you will soon have the discussion that our family had, soon after saying goodbye to our dog: do we get another pet? Right away? Soon? Never? When discussing our loss with other pet owners, I was interested to see how many different answers there were to that question. Some couldn’t comtemplate another pet because the grief was too fresh and raw and they were hurting too much to even think about going through it ever again. Some approached it as you do about friends, children etc–love is ever-expanding and quickly fills the void of loss.You can always love again. For our family, we neeeded a couple of months of grieving and then we just needed to open our hearts and home to another dog. The time was right when we no longer felt like it was a betrayal to the absent dog. It is an difficult but interesting process, that just unfolds in its own way and in its own time. It’s part of life. Hugs to you and your family.
Oh now I am bawling. Sometimes life just sucks and what really sucks is that the buck always stops at MOM.
Good bye Bear, you will be remembered fondly.
Jen, I am so sorry. Bear was a dear cat. Your story makes me want to go hug our cat Kramer & not take him for granted.
Tears came to my eyes when reading this. Memories of pet losses during childhood and as a parent. So hard for children to understand (and for the adults to explain)Hugs to you and the rest of the family.