The arrival of our annual visitor over the weekend had the kids scrambling to make lists for Tony to bring back to Santa (even the 11 year old).
The 11 year old has only three things on his list. The item that made it into third place will likely be left under the tree for him by Santa, but the other two are just not going to happen. Part of me feels bad that I can’t give him everything he wants. The other part just says “Suck it up buttercup, that’s life.”
I’m trying to teach my children “wants versus needs” and the importance of knowing the difference.
They won’t get everything they want. They can work for those things and earn them.
They will get everything they need.
The past few years we’ve tried to claw back on Christmas gifts because I found it was getting excessive. So much stuff. The kids were getting everything they asked for plus more from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It’s not how I want them thinking it should be. I don’t want greedy kids who only think about tearing through presents when they think about Christmas. Now don’t get me wrong – I love the excitement in watching them open their gifts. I just don’t want the holidays to be about that.
Parents – hang tough! It’s worth it when your children become teenagers who are NOT entitled. You are having great discussions with them.
We had many talks about using our money well and how buying tons of STUFF was not the best use of our money. My daughter had some experiences when she spent her own saved-up money on the toy of the moment, only to lose interest in it in a few months, that reinforced the talks.
It is hard to see friends whose parents have different values get loads of stuff, but we kept talking about, “in OUR family, we …” and how other families can make different choices.
Now she’s in first-year university and, after a bit of a bumpy start, is making excellent choices in managing her money and appreciating what she has.
We’re working on it – the whole wish list vs get list is big in our place right now.
I’m really trying to keep things at a minimal and think i’m succeeding! We shall see how xmas goes!
Sonya – I face the same challenge.
My 11 year old asked for cell phone for graduating grade 5. He said one of his friends got an iphone for grade 5 grad. I told him that graduating grade 5 wasn’t going over and above my expectations. Graduating grade 5 is something he was supposed to do…(He did, however win the the Principals Award for Student Leadership. We took him out to dinner to mark the occasion)
His friends ALL have blackberries and iphones. He doesn’t have a cell phone.
He was the last kid to get a Nintendo DS, he was the last kid to get an iPod.
He has a horrible life…
I imagine the memories of that trip are wll worth the maxed out credit card.
We have yet to take a family vacation. When the time is right, we will.
Who knows…maybe Santa will send us to Disney one day…?
As the third of 3 girls I can totally relate to how fantastic having brand new clothes is! (It was a rare occasion for me!)
A jacket that she can pick our herself = awesome!
I think my kids have been reasonable with their requests at Christmas. They only ask for one thing each and they both think long and hard about their choices. I remember overhearing them having a discussion last year about what to ask for. They really wanted an Xbox but decided that it was too expensive for Santa. So, I think they’re are the age of understanding and reason.
My biggest challenge is when they hear that other kids get showered with gifts even without a birthday/holiday to mark it. Yesterday, my little one told me that a boy he knows was given 10 Skylander Giants last week for no reason. So, we had a discussion. How is that special anymore? I asked him. He totally surprised me with his answer. Sure he’s bummed but he actually went up to the mother and asked her why she bought 10? Her answer was “because I can’t stand to see his little sad face”. So….my son comes home totally sad and says “I know my sad face won’t get me Skylanders”. UGH!!!
Breaks my heart and I told him that he must be patient as Christmas is coming and that it’s sometimes hard to not have what our friends have.
I hear you, Christine.
One of my best friends goes absolutely BONKERS buying gifts for her kids at Christmas – her husband grew up in a poor family – by Canadian standards (as in, not enough food, no hot water) – and he vowed that his kids would have everything they wanted at Christmas, because he still feels the pain of getting nothing as a child himself. And I get that. Still, when my kids (who are quite close to theirs) come asking “why did they each get an iPad from Santa?” I curse the parents silently to myself! It’s pretty hard to explain why Santa treats one family more generously than another.
My big challenge this year is going to be reconciling my kids to staying close to home. Last year we traveled to Ontario for Christmas, then we went on an epic California road trip at spring break and took the trip back to visit family in Ontario again over the summer! I shudder to think how much money I spent on flights alone last year (actually, the VISA bill is still being paid off) and I just won’t be able to pull off another trip for quite some time again. Hard for the kids to understand – they got quite used to it!
The HARD stuff now makes for better kids later. It is hard. There will ALWAYS be someone else with more money. The other kids that get more.
Generally we do not buy a lot of small things through out the year. We do not very often buy the booster juices after practices or the new CD that just came out or the chocolate bar in line at the check out. We mostly buy things at birthdays and Christmas. So for us Christmas is a way to disguise some of their “wants” with needs, like clothes but we find they are happy and grateful with what they do get and sometimes very surprised at what we manage to pull off.
This year my dear, sweet Darian asked for a winter coat for Christmas, except she would like to pick it out herself after Christmas, she announced. I realized this kid, the poor, wee thing (read: slight sarcasm) has never had her own coat. She has always worn her sister’s/cousin’s hand-me-downs. This year we will be on the hunt for HER “first” winter coat. I think she’ll be pumped!