My wife and I are very lucky to have a large social circle. Sure we complain about the many obligations flung our way, which, combined with family commitments, make for a pretty crowded calendar. But all in all, we love our friends so much (sometimes more than our family – sorry mom) that it is seen less as an obligation, more like something we can’t wait to satisfy.
Obviously, one of the commonalities we have with our friends – besides love of cocktails and food – is having and raising kids. The age of kid breakdown is quite different between our friends. Steph’s friends, who are so much younger than me (you’re welcome) mostly have kids around our boys’ ages. My friends, mostly guys, all seem to have ventured down the golden path of parenthood later in their years. Making some of them over forty and managing the unique wonders and struggles of life with an infant. This, of course affords me some wonderful chuckles recalling my awkward one handed diaper changing and manic fights between my wife and I regarding whose turn it is to check on the baby.
One thing we find curious is the one or two couples we know that have made a conscious choice to not have kids. As time trickles along, the initial prognostication of them just waiting for the right time in their careers or housing situations has turned into oh well, I guess they are simply not procreating. And of course we know the difference between choice and unfortunate unavailability.
Do we judge these friends harshly, tsk tsking, making fun of them behind their backs? Or do we silently envy their last minute trips to Vegas or their already paid off mortgages? Neither or a little of both I guess. And never with vitriol because they are our friends and we love them and never too green because we know the joy our respective children bring us.
Sure, I think what great parents they would make and it’s a shame they won’t get to know what it feels like to be a parent. It’s a strong decision for couples in this day and age to say unequivocally that no kids are in the future so weirdly I also respect it a little bit.
The friends who made this choice very much look forward to engaging with our boys. So hopefully whatever joy they may be missing is satisfied by the interaction with our family. I know we all enjoy it.
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