My kids were getting ready for bed on Sunday night, just as the Grammy’s were starting, but I promised Oliver I’d tape them for him, and we could watch the next day. Indeed, I did record it, and we’ve been watching (and re-watching) a lot of the performances together ever since.
I have to say, Bruno Mars was excellent. That charming boy with the beautiful pearly whites sang his heart out while being backed by a gaggle of his handsome cronies in golden jackets with matching tuxedo pants all getting their James Brown on? Wicked. Ava Scarlett said she liked his hair, to which I replied, “Who doesn’t love a pompadour?” I mean, really.
Watch – I dare you not to dance.
Bruno Mars Grammy 2012 from thiagopcm on Vimeo.
Remarking on the dancing, Oliver said, “How does he do that?” I promptly stood up and showed him, and his eyes grew round. I don’t think he has any idea that his mother can dance, well… like a muther. (Maybe that’s because I save all my best dancing for after the kids go to bed.)
“Put one hand on your navel and shimmy to the left, baby…” We bounced to the beat and slid around in our socks together for a while and killed ourselves laughing. I just might have a wee James Brown of my own on my hands – we’ll see!
We watched nearly all of the performances. I explained who Whitney Houston was and what had happened to her. And we talked about just what makes L.L. Cool J so damned cool. And we checked out Diana Ross, and Maroon 5, and Paul McCartney. And Adele! We watched my beloved Foo Fighters play. Later we watched DJ Dead Mau5 infuse the song Rope into club-music. It was all tres fun.
John Paul White of The Civil Wars sauntered to the stage looking like a dead-ringer for Johnny Depp (wow!) and along with Joy Williams sang a short excerpt of Barton Hollow (sadly, there’s no clip of the Grammy’s version to be found, but the official video is here) and their performance was so arresting, the first time we saw it, Martin and I turned to each other with looks that just screamed holy crap! Oliver seemed surprised at how much I liked it.
He: Is that country music?
Me: Yeah. Sort of.
He: But, I thought you didn’t like country music…
To say “I don’t like country music” is a sweeping and inaccurate statement, and I won’t own up to it. I mean, I love Sweet Home Alabama as much as the next person, and there’s lots of country-esque stuff I dig pretty hard – it laces plenty of rock music – but if I had to be basic about it, then yeah, I don’t like country music. (Much.)
Me: I don’t. Well, not always. It’s not my favourite, but look at them! Listen!! Two people and one guitar. That’s a really big sound! They make beautiful music together, don’t they? I like this song.
She: *points* I like her shoes.
Me: *smiles* Me too!
He liked Taylor Swift’s performance, but wondered why she wasn’t wearing performance clothes. I said, “It doesn’t matter how she looks – listen to her sing… she did a good job, don’t you think?”
We talked a little about plastic surgery why Reba McEntire’s face hardly moved when she talked.
He: But why would someone do that to their face?
Me: *shrugs* To feel happier, I guess.
Chris Brown came on stage a few different times. I didn’t say anything when he did. I think by the third time he appeared, Oliver looked at me with some suspicion.
He: What?
Me: What what?
He: You don’t like him? I like this song.
Me: The song is okay… he did something a while back that wasn’t good.
He: What did he do?
Me: *carefully* Well… you know that singer Rhianna? With that Umbrealla-ella-ella song?
He: Yeah?
Me: Well, that was his girlfriend a few years ago. The had a bad fight one night, and he beat her up. He slapped her and punched her and really hurt her. It was bad.
He: Oh. *looks at the floor*
Me: Yeah. So, the thing is, it’s over now, and he probably won’t ever, ever do that again, but…
He: That’s bad.
Me: Yeah.
We look at each other, and we turn to the TV and watch the performance. There’s no question that Chris Brown is talented. So much about this story leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth, no matter how you try to swallow it. I decide not to talk about forgiveness-part at this point. We can save that for another day.
Me: Oliver, listen to me. We don’t hit people. You know that.
He: *nods* I know.
Me: We don’t hit anyone, but especially not girls.
He: *nods* I know.
Me: I know you know that, but listen. I don’t care what she says, or what she does. *waves finger* Never, never. Don’t engage anyone if you get in a fight. If things start to get crazy? Walk away. Always.
He: *nods* Okay.
Me: No. I mean, you could find yourself dealing with someone completely unreasonable… so you have to take a step back and walk away. And keep on walking.
He: *nods* Okay.
Me: But you’re a lover, not a fighter… right? *winks*
He: *smiles shyly* Yeah.
He’s just so cute and innocent, my baby boy. The world is… big. Life is complicated.
Me: But Oliver… if you ever find yourself trying to deal with a crazy lady trying to stab you with a knife or something *makes jabbing motions into his belly until he giggles* and you can’t run away? Well, you do what you’ve got to do to defend yourself. *looks into his eyes* Understand?
He: Yeah.
Me: But that won’t happen to you. Girls are gonna like you… but you’d better be sweet to them, or you might get stabbed!! *jabs at him again*
He: *scrambles away giggling* But, did Rhianna try to stab him?
Me: I don’t know. I don’t think do… it happened a few years ago when they were both teenagers.
He: Teenagers?! Whoa.
Me: I know. I think they might have both hit each other… but that doesn’t matter. Men are stronger. It’s not a fair fight. And anyway, people shouldn’t hit other people like that at all, you know?
He: *thinks a minute* I don’t think I like him anymore.
Me: *sigh* I understand how you feel.
It is complicated. It’s hard to know how to enjoy anything, ever again, about a person who could do something so heinous. It’s all so… awful. Everyone knows Ike Turner was a
sonofabitch, but he and Tina wrote some wicked music together – songs I love, that I could get up and dance to right now. And that man’s actions were habitual. Without coming to Chris Brown’s defence, I just wonder when it’s okay to give a remorseful person a second chance. Perhaps he’s not been remorseful enough. I don’t know… I just don’t know. I don’t have the answers. I don’t even care for this kid’s music.
sonofabitch, but he and Tina wrote some wicked music together – songs I love, that I could get up and dance to right now. And that man’s actions were habitual. Without coming to Chris Brown’s defence, I just wonder when it’s okay to give a remorseful person a second chance. Perhaps he’s not been remorseful enough. I don’t know… I just don’t know. I don’t have the answers. I don’t even care for this kid’s music.
Le sigh. *shakes head*
Let’s all watch the Bruno Mars clip again instead, and everybody just shimmy to the left…
i agree that the chris brown one is a hard one. woody allen took salacious pics of and then married his stepdaughter?? and i still watch and love his movies…but with chris brown it’s harder because of those pictures. my kids love his music and so do i. but watching him was hard and i felt very conflicted, while also thinking his dancing was awesome. my husband got up and walked out of the room and was irritated that i didn’t change the channel. btw, rihanna is coming out with a new duet with CB, media buzz is saying it’s hteir way of re-introducing themselves as a couple back to society
I have continued to skip over Niki Minaj’s performance… that’s 10 minutes of my life I will never get back. Balls.
jennifer is right how parenting can just jump out of nowhere! 🙂 and i guess this means that as a parent you need to be ready at ANY time, not later, tomorrow or next week.
on another note, this is the first time i have seen that clip (only heard about it) and i’m all goosebumpy…THAT is a performance, not that niki minaj WTF that she plodded through and hid all the talent. bruno mars was a “listen on the radio” guy to me…i’m seriously going to check him out more now!
You don’t need me – you know it ALL, Awesome Sara… 😉
can i have you speed dial for a few years from now???? please.
I know, Jen. And I htought I was playing it so cool by not saying anything at first, but my boy knows when I’m being cagey. (Ack.) This job is haaaaard. And believe me – I’m a screeching Howler monkey most of the time – not cool at all. (Poo.)
It’s all just so ugly. I’d love to see people give him a chance to redeem himself though. I dunno… it’s tough.
Thanks Anny. Takes one to know one… 😉
It’s amazing and terrifying to me how these deep, profound conversations can spring up at any moment. I love hearing how you manage to tackle these subjects in such an off-hand way. I hope I’m as smooth, but something tells me that you’re Bruno Mars-ing these chats, while I’m Elaine Benes-ing them!
These are very, very good questions and I don’t know either. I really don’t.
You’re a good mama Tracey Steer.