Is it weird that I am slowly building up a toolkit of things that I can use to embarrass my daughter as she gets older? Because truth be told, this was for me, a big part of the appeal of having a child in the first place.
Am I the only one holding on to really old, holey underwear, a KISS t-shirt and a mullet wig just so I can answer the door in them when potential suitors come to the house? This, of course, on occasions when I don’t open the door in a policemen’s Halloween costume.
Is anyone else planning on installing cassette players in their cars, so that 10 years from now they can play (and sing along to) Randy Travis’ “Forever and Ever Amen” while chauffeuring the gang to and from the mall?
Are there other Dads out there currently building up a long roster of cute nicknames (Pooky, Barrel of Sunshine, Cinnamon Spice, Pea, etc.) that can be shouted out the window of the family mini-van when dropping their kids off at school?
And is it wrong that I can’t wait to tell Pea’s friends about the time I stacked 7 mini-pumpkins one on top of the other, to become the self-proclaimed “Pumpkin Stacking King” of 2006?
Well, I recently filmed a short movie with some friends of mine that will be added to the toolkit.
Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of our effort, but I am sure the last thing Pea will want to do with her 1st year university friends is sit down and watch this film, repeatedly, and hear me discuss it ad nauseam to help reinforce elements of their Film Study sessions.
If embarrassing your child is wrong, then maybe I don’t want to be right.
I am planning on writing down all the things that my kids have done to embarrass me when they are little. You know, like DD tooting LOUDLY at the cash register at the Gap and saying, “Whew! Excuse me, I am gassy today!!”. Or her telling me (loudly) in the outhouse while camping, “Oh, Mommy, did you poo-poo? It smells like bum in here!”. Or asking me LOUDLY at the OB why the woman in the sari was wearing her jam-jams.
Whenever my kids ask me to drop them off around the corner from school because they are embarrassed of me, I will haul out the book, turn to any random page, and read aloud.
And in our house, her Daddy will do the embarrassing when it comes to bringing home suitors. He has a real police uniform because that is what he wears to work. I pity the fool who decides to date DD…