How Do You Embarrass Your Children?

In the great microcosm of life I call Art Camp, the midgets asked me “What do you do that embarrasses your children, Nancy?”

Where to start. Where to start.

Then I remembered when they were little one of their favourite books was The Paper Bag Princess. If you remember, she was the ultimate modern heroine- slaying dragons and turning away the supposedly ‘eligible’ Prince Ronald as he did not love her when she was dirty and bruised from war and wearing nothing but a paper bag and a tarnished tiara.

So my favourite Hallowe’en costume was a tiara and a paper leaf bag- cut across the bottom and worn like a strapless dress with a rope belt.

For years I answered the door like this on October 31st.

“You mean you had nothing on underneath, Nance?” They gasped.

“Nope. Not a stitch beyond the gitch.”

And that was beyond horrifying for my children. Which is precisely why I did it (that and it was quick, easy and literary). Isn’t a little embarrassment what we are here for? Isn’t that grit training?

Well, you would think I told these 8 year olds that I flew through the streets naked in July singing Christmas Carols, riding an elephant. They laughed for 25 minutes. They fell off their seats, they fell on the floor. Dinner got cold. They asked inaudible questions muffled by laughter. One laughed milk through her nostrils straight across the table.

Thrilled I could make you hysterical through the possibility of my naked body in a leaf bag.

What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done, according to your kids?