Been reading a number of different lists in various digital and mainstream publications lately, so it got me thinking that I would like to add to the genre and pump out a fun list.
So without further ado, here are the 10 things most often said in my house.
10. Did you feed Alice?
I feed Alice everyday at 6am. She follows me downstairs every morning, waddles out the back door to squat, pee and lumber back up the stairs to her waiting silver bowl full of tasty kibble. Every morning this happens. I have never forgotten, because if I did, Alice would sit in front of me while I watch sports highlights and stare a hole into the back of my head.
We call it the breakfast stare.
Yet, almost every morning, before I go to work, just after I kiss her sleeping cheek, my wife will ask me if I fed our 12-year old dog Alice.
9. Can I come in for a cuddle?
Now this could be said at midnight, 2:32am, 5:41am, 6:12am, whenever, but our youngest boy Tasman just does not like to sleep alone. We were fine with it during the baby/toddler years as co-sleeping was never a parental strategy; it was just a way of life. If we wanted a modicum of uninterrupted sleep, we welcomed him into the middle, which, after a year of my laying my head on the night table, evolved into me sleeping somewhere else. Now, at the tender age of almost six and at the weight and girth of a young Michael J. Fox, answering yes to this question happens only after 6am.
Oh Popeye, you are difficult to say no to….
8. How much screen time do you have left?
About six months ago we placed an hour a day limit on screen time for our boys. While we do believe it has forced their hands into doing something a bit more productive, what it also has created is a maelstrom of debate of screen time minutes. Hud actually uses his Ipod to record his time thereby using screen time to record screen time. In fact, if I never hear the two words screen time again I will be pretty stoked. Thankfully summer is around the corner and all rules are kicked to the curb so their brains can slowly turn into soppy, sweaty mush.
7. Whose turn is it to do stories?
We read to Tasman every night as we did Hudson until last year when he started fake reading (so proud). Now we both enjoy this ritual and recognize its importance, thing is, after the 6-8pm hurricane of dinner, homework, bath, we are both pretty spent and ready for the hazy wash of non-kidness to occur. So we try to alternate the story reading. Seems pretty straight forward. Except Tasman prefers Steph to do stories (which I simply do not understand, my voiceovers on Where the Wild Things Are alone are academy award worthy), so her obligation has increased while my post-hurricane beer and sitcom time have increased. Fair? Not really, but who am I to argue with the wants and desires of a six-year old.
6. Where is your soccer stuff?
I coach soccer four days a week. The other three days I am looking for the soccer gear the boys need for their respective games. It drives me freaking crazy. I even adopted the strategy of never washing it and keeping it in a shopping bag. But after suffering through sugary redolence of kid sweat became overwhelming, I broke down and it once again disappeared into the laundry haystack.
They are lucky to be so jean jackety and cute.
5. What’s for dessert?
As the purveyor of offal meats and fine cheeses in our household (I do most of the cooking), I do my best to provide the balance of proteins, greens and carbs to keep my family on the cusp of healthy. Do I fail miserably and rely on frozen pizza? Absolutely. Do I occasionally succeed with a delightful BBQ chicken, brown rice and green bean meal that everyone scarfs down and asks for seconds? Um, occasionally. But invariably the dessert question gets asked almost two forkfuls into whatever concoction I have come up with that evening. Sometimes it’s ice cream (woohoo!) and sometimes it’s fruit (really?) and sometimes it’s pure nothing. Doesn’t stop them from asking. Even at breakfast.
Ok….I am spreading this out over a couple of posts…here is the link to top four!
so hilarious! most often in my house is “What’s for Dinner/lunch/breakfast/dessert/drink/snack” basically anything that involves food.
Fun list.
You’re lucky you don’t hear “what’s for dessert” until two forkfuls into the meal. Usually my kids will ask that up front to determine whether they even need to bother with those first two forkfuls!
Hee! I can’t wait to read the rest of this list, Jason…