I’m a good mother. I’m not a great one. I yell. I sleep in too late and then freak out at my kid for not getting ready fast enough. I have no patience. We eat pizza three days a week. I get babysitters more than once a week. Did I mention I yell?
But there is one area where I will say, unabashedly, I am a very good mother. I follow through. I don’t make idle threats.
We’ve left restaurants, birthday parties and playgrounds. We’ve gone a week without tv. A night without books. Cancelled playdates.
The beauty after 5+ years of this? He knows there is no wiggle room.
My only problem with this hard-assed way of parenting? I have zero patience for parents who don’t. Zero. I judge. I won’t lie.
Tonight, we’re skipping Will’s tae-kwan-do class. Why? Because I may lose it and pop this mother of a kid in his class so I’ve decided to just skip it. This class is half an hour and a solid 15 minutes is this poor teacher trying discipline Little Billy. Last week, Little Billy’s mom, after he was removed 5 times for 30 second time outs said, ‘one more time and we’re gone.’ Well, two minutes later, it was one more time. Than another chance. Then another. Finally, she announced they were gone! Except her idea of gone was to sit in the class with him, while he wailed that he wanted to be there.
I don’t understand it. I just don’t. Pick up the kid after the first few times and LEAVE.
What lesson are you teaching him by sitting there? I recognize that I’m not teaching mine a great lesson by skipping class tonight but I’d like to spend Hallowe’en with him and not in jail on assault charges.
Excuse me. I’m finished and will now be stepping down from my soapbox.
What is your parenting pet peeve??
You and I are birds of a feather, lady. I also make no claim to perfection, and yes, I also do all the things – yell, don’t leave enough time in the mornings, and so on, but I also never make a threat I won’t carry out.
I once told my daughter, who was refusing to get dressed, that I’d just take her to daycare naked then. And promptly started figuring out how I’d make that actually happen, because now I was in. (Fortunately, she caved, so I didn’t have to wrap her in a blanket and take her in her stroller like that because she had learned by then that I meant business! Phew!)
You rap what you sow. You’re doing a GREAT job, mama. 😉
Ooh I rap it baby…I rap it!
“REAP”
Egad. (My nails are too damned long…)
i am 100% on board with you. i have relatives like this and their fave is, “do X or you’ll go to bed!” firstly, going to bed shouldn’t be a threat, secondly, if that’s your go-to, do it!!! when they were visiting i told my wee relative not to go down face first on the slide or i’ll have to put it away and he looked at me like…”i’m gonna do it”…and i’m all (inside)….”ooohhh, pleeeeeeeezzzz do it…” but it turns out he saw me following thru on something else with the girls and didn’t. he knew i meant business.
that situation is so unfair to you and the others. she’s probably thinking the same thing you are…i paid good money for this class and he/she is going to take it! and the instructor is probably gun-shy about asking this parent to take the kid out of class since that can start a whole other issue with the parent.
why has “no” turned into this horrible thing? when i tell my girls no i say why which i think is important. even if it’s “i don’t feel like it…give me a few minutes” i think it’s important to communicate that with them.
I HEAR YOU! My son was banned from eating cereal for 3 weeks because he didn’t finish the milk (3rd time – 1 week first time, 2 weeks second time. And he still made the choice, oh stubborn boy!). Oh, and did I mention the “you are not getting any ice cream until you are 6” when he was 5.5? Followed through on that one too.