That’s what I’ve always thought about Cam.
That we had him first for a reason.
He was a good baby. It was a lovely transition into parenthood with him (I even forgave him for the 67 pound weight gain as he gestated inside me).
My labour and delivery was 2hrs. He nursed like a champ the first time. He slept well. Was well tempered and was just so darn cute with his pretty features and gorgeous red hair.
He did everything early so I never got to a point of worrying about whether or not he was on track developmentally. He always was.
He did everything early so I never got to a point of worrying about whether or not he was on track developmentally. He always was.
When Cuyler arrived, we were on alert from the beginning. We knew from his birth that we could be dealing with developmental delays. And over time we were.
But as we were dealing with all of Cuyler’s issues, we were also raising a little boy who was 18 months older. Who was doing all of the things we expected to be doing when we became parents. Birthday parties. Swimming lessons. Skating lessons. Playdates. Nursery school.
People often ask me how Sean is with everything. My answer? He is just remarkable. There is no 50/50 in our house. We’re both 100% involved. He balances me – if I can’t manage a tantrum, he takes over and vice versa.
All of the things that he dreamed of doing when we had a boy – he has done. Coached his hockey and soccer teams. Even coached them to a tournament win in Michigan and a tri-county championship.
Sean was always involved in competitive sports growing up and I know that he loves the fact that Cam is very motivated to try any and all sports – hockey, soccer, lacrosse, baseball – and he’s been good at everything he does (yes – that was a brag). He even got a dirt bike for Christmas and has been flying around on that recently.
Cuyler has no interest in sports or any activities that most typical kids his age would be interested in. But I think because Sean is experiencing fatherhood in a way he always wanted – free’s him to up be able to experience fatherhood in a way he never anticipated.
And enjoy it.
Cuyler has no interest in sports or any activities that most typical kids his age would be interested in. But I think because Sean is experiencing fatherhood in a way he always wanted – free’s him to up be able to experience fatherhood in a way he never anticipated.
And enjoy it.
I can’t help but think that everything he does with Cam feeds a part of Sean that free’s him up mentally and emotionally to be such a great dad to Cuyler.
I know each child is different and each child is parented differently, but when you have a child with special needs, the difference is even more profound.
I know each child is different and each child is parented differently, but when you have a child with special needs, the difference is even more profound.
I think I would feel ripped off if I wasn’t given the experience of raising typical children. I don’t know if that’s offensive to anyone – but I’m just being honest here.
I also think that the fact that I am raising typical children as well as a special needs child allows me to fully appreciate the gifts that come along with Cuyler’s autism. And there are plenty.
The fact that the boys are so close in age is also a gift. You couldn’t have convinced me of that in the early days of post partum, but it’s been apparent since they were little.
Cam was so young when Cuyler was born that he has only ever known life with him.
Campbell can push Cuyler’s buttons and can piss him off better than anyone I know, but I also know that he is Cuyler’s protector and is truly his best friend.
Neither of them know it but they are exactly what each other needs.
Campbell can push Cuyler’s buttons and can piss him off better than anyone I know, but I also know that he is Cuyler’s protector and is truly his best friend.
Neither of them know it but they are exactly what each other needs.
That’s how I know we had him first for a reason.
What a wonderful commentary on parenthood. Your children are so lucky to have the awesome Mom and Dad that you guys are.
OMG the tears! That last photo and your beautiful words?? Awesome. Every child is a gift in their own way. Thanks for this.
So so so so sweet!!! I often wonder how you both deal with it all. The stress. Of coarse – we all have our own issues and we deal with them as they happen. I assume that you just get what you were given, and love conquers all (as it has for my case). But from a fatherhood perspective – I’ll often think of Sean when things get tough. It really is admirable to see how engaged he is, how he handles the stress, how the both you work together… I really do look up to you guys.
Wow. That pic of Cuy and Cam! Awesome.
Christine,
I don’t have a special needs child so I can’t really relate but I can empathize. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you said about raising typical children and not feeling ripped off. We all have expectations of parenting (as the Holland poem illustrates) and it’s nice when some of them are met.
I love the final photo. It reminds me of twin photos. I’m lucky to have lots like that of my girls cuddling, spooning in sleep, kissing, dancing, etc. Those moments are really beautiful and touching.
Erin
that picture kills me….so beautiful.