My boys, like most kids their ages, love movies. Not just the movie itself, but the act of getting together on the couch (or camping out on the floor), getting the comfy duvet from upstairs, filling the silver mixing bowl full of popcorn and hunkering down for 90 to 100 minutes of mindless escape.
Thankfully Tasman still watches the wondrous and magical movies that are out there, the Finding Nemo’s, the Up’s, the Despicable Me’s, the Hugo’s, there are lots to choose from. Lately, Hudson is graduating to more mature fare, not because he does not sit mesmerized by the other movies, but because for whatever reason, he feels these movies are too young for him and would like to be included in the more mature movies that include lusty bloody vampires or teenage girls with bows and arrows.
Or, even worse, some of the truly adult driven comedies or horror movies that are totally off limits, but he sees the trailers on the Internet or on Netflix when trolling for something to watch.
We have our boundaries of what our kids can and cannot watch. I have different levels for each boy, allowing Hud a little more leeway if the language is a bit rich or the violence a bit more graphic. I am comfortable with this level and do my best to control it.
But here is the rub, other parents do not share the same level as we do. Hud, thankfully being super honest, will tell us the types of shows or movies his friends are watching, even offer some examples of the types of language offered (think of what you use to make tea as a verb) and both Steph and I literally shudder.
We are firm believers in not getting involved in the parenting of other children. We have enough trouble keeping our family ducks in a row with our two boys and honestly do not have the time or the energy to pass judgment on any other parent.
But how do you tell a nine year old boy to walk away from a movie or show that is so darn tantalizing to his sponge like brain that he remembers the images or the language for the rest of his young life?
How do I enforce a rule when he is at other kid’s houses on play dates?
Agreed, Caitlin.
If it is really important to you or if Hudson is confused or scared I would just mention it to the parents and ask that they let you know if there is anything above a PG movie being shown.
My 12 year old is scared sh*#less of horror movies or anything that is beyond fantastically scary. Anything disturbing that could happen in real life. Once he was at a pal’s house and they watched 5 minutes of “1000 Ways to Die”. He asked them to turn it off and they did but it haunted him for WEEKS. He will never do that again.
However, my husband and I have a bit of a philosophy to let him guide us on what is appropriate. He can’t handle the scary and he knows this. We don’t even have to say anything. But, the sexual is something different. He has seen The Hangover (he had already seen it but it was played at and 11 y/o friend’s sleepover birthday – the parents did call first). I watched it with him the first time and we discussed what things meant, what was totally unrealistic and what was hilarious. I have to say, I loved the movie but I felt very conscious of certain things while watching with him.
What I learned is that he already knew a LOT more than I thought he did and what he didn’t he had some CRAZY ideas about that we were able to set straight. Plus, some of it was just plain over his head so I didn’t even have to worry about it.
He is now getting to the age where he is watching these things on his own with his friends and I don’t know about it at all (he is quite tall so has had no problem getting into an AA 14 movie for a while now). I am REALLY glad that we watched some of these movies together when he was a bit younger and I had a voice and was able to answer questions.
Sometimes we don’t think they are ready but their curiosity is telling us that they may be. I remember watching Fame and Porky’s (god help us) and Fast Times at Ridgemount High with some interesting commentary from my parents!
Just a thought.
That is just what kids do! I did it when I was little. I watched Leprechaun and it scared the hell out of me. It’s good to let kids break the rules once in a while. You just have to make sure that you teach them that things in movies aren’t real and that you teach them right from wrong. I know other parents will have different opinions on the subject but I think that as long as you talk to your kids about what they see then there is no worry about what they are watching (as long as they aren’t watching it on a regular basis).
this reminds me of when my nephew was around 12 or 13. he went over to a friend’s house for movie night and they pulled out an R movie (something in the horror genre). he got up and said that this was inappropriate for him to watch and he didn’t want to and then called my brother to bring him home.
not caring what his friends thought, just knowing that what he and his dad talked about (like you probably talk to your boys) what and, most importantly, WHY things are the way they are. he made a decision on his own based on some open and honest parenting.
i’m sure that if your son did watch the movie, it would probably come back to haunt him he will remember and a tough lesson will be learned. i don’t think any of us parents can stop most of the bad behaviour our kids WILL do, but it’s my hope that we can teach them to think as to what may happen in the future. you’re good parents and you have good kids! 🙂