The Boy will soon turn seven. This is unfathomable to me. He is still my baby, and how seven years have passed I don’t know. That, however, is a story for another post.
This post is full of questions. Questions that I thought were still years away. Just a few months ago, it was easy. The kids went with me to the Ladies’ Room. It was a non-issue. Now, it’s another story.
For instance, at the Airport:
“Mom, there’s no way I’m going to the Girls’ bathroom. I’m not a girl and there’s just no way.”
“But, sweetheart, how can I send you alone into the Mens’ room?”
It was non-negotiable. He wouldn’t budge, and I had to send him alone, my little man, into the mens’ washroom, unsupervised.
All I could think about were lurking pedophiles, child abductors, and perverts – all waiting to prey on my precious baby in the eerie corners of the men’s room, a territory completely unknown to me.
I couldn’t control myself. After calling out his name several times and not getting an answer, I went in to look for him. He was there, in a stall, too shy for the urinals, and ridiculously embarassed that his mom was in there looking for him. Weirdly, the few men in there seemed remarkably nonplussed by my appearance. Maybe the barging in of freaked-out moms is not such an uncommon occurrence.
It happened again today at swimming. “Mom, there’s no way I’m changing in there.”
Good grief.
Amreen, your article made me laugh. We moms are more alike than we realize. It will get easier I promise. My little boy is not so little anymore. He’s now 15, 6’1 and over 200 lbs. It happened so fast and now he’s more of a man than my little blonde boy I used to tote around on my hip. I remember experiencing similar feelings about him gaining more independence and the worry that often accompanies. He’s now looking forward to flying without his parents. Can I really let “my boy” be in an airport and new city by himself? Thank goodness for cell phones. That seems to ease the worry a bit. I’m convinced mothers will worry about their kids ’til the day they die.
thanks for the advice! it’s much appreciated it. i’m not having such an easy time with the whole “letting go” concept. but i realise it’s necessity and inevitability. last night was my kids’ winter carnival at their school. when we got there, the Boy spotted his posse and informed me that he was going to hang with his friends and would catch up with me “later”. Whatever, I tracked his every whereabout throughout the evening. It’s going to take me time to get used to this new age and the freedoms that will inevitably go with it.
As mom to two boys, I spend a lot of time hanging around outside men’s washrooms (that doesn’t sound good, does it?) At least with the two they can go in together, but if I only have one of them with me and there’s a washroom need, I determine whether they go to the men’s on their own depending on the place and time. Best the boys are safe than someone offended. Good luck!
So with you Amreen! Still toting my willing-to-be-toted 7 year old into the ladies room with me, but the 5 yo is already making the pleas to go into the mensroom on his own. (um not yet buddy) Letting go won’t be easy
My son was seven when this started happening. In fact, the swimming pool had a rule that at seven the kids were to change in their respective gender change rooms. I remember being horrified, “But he’s just a little boy!” I was sure that he was totally incapable of getting undressed, then showered and dressed on his own. But, amazingly he did it and he felt very good about himself too.
When it comes to the washroom in a large public place I still lurk outside the door and occasionally have to open it a crack and shout in his name. I think this would be a major deterrent to any freak. Or, if he is taking “too” long I find another kid going in & have asked them to check but this rarely happens. It is good to be alert and aware but it sounds like he is ready for this leap and for the responsibility. So, have a chat with him, without freaking him out, about his responsibility, etc. and let him go. It’s the hardest part of being a mother!
“To have a child is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone