Once upon a time there was a mom at a cottage alone with her very young children. They were sound asleep all cosy in the darkness when she heard strange noises. She stood at the top of the stairs listening-the sounds were two burglars plotting the theft. Ohmygod. Will they kill us or just rob us, she thought. How would I protect my children sleeping downstairs but not disturb the thieves?
She did what any hormonally charged protective mother worried about her babes would do and grabbed the phone and dialled 911 and went into her closet to whisper panicked directives. The operator said “stay in the closet- you must not disturb the thieves”. The tricky question- where are you? was asked. Directions were difficult for her at the best of times- but in mortal danger she had no way of knowing how to explain how to get her family cottage that she had been going to since she was a kid. To say she was freaked out was an understatement.
The rustling downstairs was getting louder as the fear in her rose in volume as well. She cried into the phone as she sat in the bedroom closet whispering breathlessly into the phone to the 911 operator. “We will trace the call and find out where you are and keep you on the phone until the police arrive ” Good, she thought, while the burglars chop me and my children into tiny morsels it will be overheard and taped for future listening.
In what seemed to be an eternity, she heard the police on her gravelly driveway with sirens and, just like in the movies, an authoritative voice “FREEZE,POLICE” was heard downstairs.
To say that her heart had stopped was an understatement. The operator said- ‘you can hang up the phone now and go downstairs, the police have arrived’. She emerged from the closet trembling, the top of her nightie wet with tears and went into the dark hallway to go downstairs to face the perpetrators. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge fat racoon ran by her feet, pooping and snivelling nervously. Another one was in the living room being rolled up in the rag rug by the policeman to safely throw it outside. They had broken through the screen window and were having a messy picnic in the kitchen.
To say her children could sleep through a war, a circus, a tornado, was an understatement. To say in future she would be sure to batten down the hatches was an understatement.
To say she felt foolish was an understatement.
Yikes- enough said or we will all have nightmares tonight!
Blame it on the Friday the 13th movies. The ones I remember were set at a lake in cabins.
we love our imaginations – except late at night!
It is such a shame that what should be the most relaxing sleep of the whole year is ruined by fears of being alone in the middle of cottage land. The conditions are perfect – no noise, happy, sleepy children, my bed to myself, a great book and the lake lapping outside my window. But no, every squeek and crack makes me think that I’m going to be killed by some scary masked man.
a fever can be like going to the movies!
It reminds me when I was about 10 with a fever and thought my brother was a thief and pointed a gun at me. I was thinking of calling the police but he might hear me and shoot me, I could get the rifle in the closet (he would not know there was no bullets) but he might hear me open the closet and kill me. so I just laid there in fear and sweat until my mom came back and saved me.
I get this! The smell is very similar and the mind is so powerful. Hilarious
haha! reminds me of when i called the gas company at 1am because i was convinced that i smelled a gas leak in the house. they arrived in full gear in a big truck…then informed me that what i smelled was actually skunk.