When you have 8 children living under one roof, there is constant fighting, playing, loud voices, toys being left around, and of course lots of pranks, and the other day was no exception.
I was upstairs trying to sort through clothes, pokemon cards, and other crap stuff that Ryley had once again begun to “organize” and then left it all out over his and Sebastian’s bedroom floor. The house was unusually quiet but of course that didn’t last long. Out of nowhere Arielle screams and comes storming in to the boy’s bedroom stomping all over Pokemon cards. (For the record I am so sick of picking up Pokemon cards!) In her hand she was holding something white but I wasn’t close enough to actually see what it was. (I swear 8 children has made me not only begin to lose my mind but my eyesight as well!)
She looks at me with the evil look she reserves only for certain situations – this must have been a really serious situation as she looked as though she wanted to kill somebody – I was hoping it wasn’t me.
She thrusts out her hand that was holding the white thing and screams “WHAT IS THIS?”
I swear I tried not to laugh but I really couldn’t help it.
I looked again at the white thing and said. “It’s a maxi pad Arielle.”
Sebastian who was also in the room started to giggle and said “Oh you mean a tampon thingy?”
Joshua who must have heard Arielle scream had come up to see what all the commotion was about was mortified.
“Awwwwww GROSS! Why is Arielle holding that thing?”
It was at this point that I realized the questions were going to start flowing out like a sink tape gone wild.
Oh My God! Why was this on my bed?”
“What do you mean it was on your bed?” I asked.
“Somebody but this on bed and then put my doll on it! Now my doll has Maxi Pad germs!!”
Shit. Then it started.
“Gross those are the things girls put up their vagina!” screamed Sebastian.
“No that would be tampons you are referring to.” I corrected. “Pads just go on top of the underwear.”
Help me please.
“Why do we even have to wear underwear?” asked Ryley.
“To keep your penis from flopping around.” I answered.
Of course they all thought my response was hysterical but I began to think WTH? What really is the purpose of underwear?
“This is disgusting.” Joshua tells us. “I am leaving.”
“Why do girls put that in their vagina anyway?” Sebastian asked.
Here it goes!
I then had to explain to them what a period was. The older two understood but Ryley just carried on “organizing” his stuff laughing along with the others.
Arielle got tired of listening and screamed “WHO DID THIS?”
Ryley looked at me with his puppy dog look that he gives when he thinks he is about to get in trouble.
“I did.” He confessed. “I thought it would be a nice bed for your doll……”
I felt kind of bad for him he was just trying to be helpful.
Arielle felt no sorrow for him. “Oh yeah! Well stay out of my room and leave my dolls alone!”
I was done. Having these types of “talks” tires me out!
As I walked out of the room I heard Ryley giggle as he whispered to Sebastian.
“Did I do a good job? That was really funny!”
So much for feeling sorry for him! What truth there is to the saying “boys will be boys.”
When did you have to do the “talk” with your children? How did you handle it?
Until next time,
Chantel,momof8crazymonkeys
LOL nice article i can remember my parents having the talk with me after me and my younger brother dumped 50 tampons in the fish tank, Lets just say it was an air tank after them things absorbed the water
i must have the talk…i’ve never had it yet…i guess this says that you need to be ready at any time!