You know there are many things you can do to help your child meet with better success in school: ensure they get enough sleep and exercise, feed them nutritious lunches, and help them with their homework. But did you know there is another strategy that takes only a few minutes a day but almost always makes a positive difference in your child’s school experience? You may not, as many teachers report less than half their parents do it. What is it? Nothing more than regularly communicating with your child’s teacher.
Now it may sound silly, but you would be amazed the impact a short note, email or chat with your child’s teacher can be. For example,
- Knowing a child is upset about a situation at home might make a teacher more empathetic to unexpected outbursts in class.
- Informing the teacher about problems with other students (like bullying) can make a teacher extra diligent in watching for potential problems, or influence class groupings.
- Letting the teacher know early on about homework issues might lead to modifications or different strategies being implemented.
Although communication should ideally be a two-way street, not all teachers send home notes or newsletters as often as you might like. Don’t let their perceived lack of regularity affect your ability to keep in regular contact. With this in mind, here is a list of items you might consider sharing with your child’s teacher as soon as possible:
- Health conditions. Although serious medical conditions are usually reported to the school at the beginning of the year, keep your teacher up to date on things like changes in medication, vision or hearing trouble, or allergies.
- Home situations. Major changes or upheavals at home can seriously affect a child’s school day and ability to concentrate.
- Social or emotional issues. Kids can be very good at being sneaky. If your child is being bullied (physically or emotionally), let the teacher know. Likewise, if you notice changes in your child emotionally, these could be signs of other issues.
- Academic concerns. If your child is struggling with a subject, or your have questions about the amount or level of homework, be sure to ask.
As well, here are several questions you might consider asking your child’s teacher about his/her progress:
- Is homework and class work being completed and handed in on time?
- Does he/she actively participate and pay attention in class?
- What can I do at home to help support my child?
- Do you have any concerns?
The good news is that many teachers post information on class web sites, send home regular newsletters, and are quite happy to converse via email or a quick note in a school agenda.
Just one word of caution …please always remember your child is one of many children in the class (sometimes 30 or more), and that lengthy notes or call most days may not leave the teacher time for other important activities or lesson preparation. (e.g. 30 replies at 5 minutes each would require 2.5 hours!)
So don’t wait for report cards or interviews to find out how your child is doing. Be proactive and keep the lines of communication open. It may only take a few minutes of your time, but I guarantee the rewards will be great!
About the author
As an award-winning educator and Parenting & Youth Coach, Rob Stringer BA, BEd, CPC has spent almost two decades helping kids, teens, and adults meet with success, and live lives they LOVE!. Although based outside of Toronto Ontario, Rob’s coaching practice is global, with clients across Canada, the United States, Australia, and Asia. In addition to Parenting with Intention, he most recently launched, Youth Coach Canada – a non-profit organization dedicated to making affordable professional life coaching services available to youth aged 11-21.
Interested in having Rob speak at your child’s school? For more information on speaking engagements, programs, and upcoming workshops for parents and youth, visit www.YouthCoachCanada.com or call 905.515.9822.
Hi Jen. Great question—how can you tell how involved your child’s teacher would like you to be? (Or “How much is too much?) Look for clues in classroom newsletters—often teachers will tell you what they need or expect, ask for volunteers, etc. Use your intuition—how receptive does your child’s teacher seem to be to your notes or unannounced classroom visits? Put yourself in his/her place—how would you feel about the level or frequency of contact? But the best tip is to simply ask or inquire—most teachers will tell you directly or in subtle ways if they feel uncomfortable with the level of contact or involvement. Personally, I give parents my email address at the beginning of the year and encourage notes in the agenda. In 17 years, I have only ever felt one or two parents ever went overboard.
This is great advice, and I really appreciate the comment about remembering that your child is only 1 out of 30 or more. I teach Jr. High, and love when parents open the lines of communication and keep me updated on things that could potentially affect their child’s behaviour in the class room, or their ability to get assignments completed for a certain date. However, daily updates are difficult to keep up with, and sometimes there is just nothing to report. And sometimes, teachers are just so busy trying to keep up with the planning, meetings, extra-curricular commitments, etc, not to mention their own families that they just can’t find the time in the day to keep up with all the happenings to report. Just be patient, and if you’re worried about what’s happening at school, responding to a quick email is the easiest way for a teacher to get the info you want to you without taking too much precious time out of everyone’s busy schedule.
That’s really good advice. I was debating calling the school today about an issue my little guy is having with another kid in the class. I think I’ll pick up the phone right now!
Great advice, Rob, but it is often hard to know how much is too much especially because it seems to vary depending on the teacher. Any tips to get a read on how involved your child’s teacher would like you to be?