Cam came home from school last week and asked me the following question:
“When I turn 18, how much will you pay me if I don’t do drugs or alcohol?”
My response was a swift “I will pay you nothing. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard. You want me to pay you for not doing stuff your NOT supposed to do?”
I’m not sure whether to complain to the school or just deal with the issue by sticking to my initial response. It’s a bad idea.
It’s just a bad message in general.
I can’t believe that a hired professional would even consider teaching them that a good reason to not do drugs or alcohol is a monetary payoff from their parents.
How about don’t do drugs because it’s illegal?
How about don’t do drugs because they can harm you?
How about don’t do drugs because they can harm others?
How about don’t do drug because they can ruin your life?
This is not want I want or need in my village.
And let’s be honest. Really honest. Do I think he’ll make it to 18 without having a few alcoholic beverages? I doubt it.
Will he drink and us not know about it? Maybe Probably.
I was a teenager. I made bad decisions. He will make bad decisions and every bad decision will turn into a lesson.
I could never be 100% sure that he will stay drug and alcohol free so why would I make that deal?
Am I missing something? Is there any good reason to paying him off if he “stays clean til eighteen”?
Then what? At 18 he can go get drunk and high (with the money I pay him)?
And why 18? Nineteen is the legal drinking age…
I’m pretty open minded so if there is something I’m missing to this please enlighten me.
My initial reaction may be a bit knee-jerk (they often are) but I just can’t get over my annoyance that this is what I’m raising my kids in.
When I was growing up we did (or didn’t do) things because there were consequences. We knew right from wrong and we knew that the wrong held consequences.
Now there just seems to be rewards. What is this teaching them?
Insanity. Total insanity. I would have liked to have seen your head leave your body when this happened.
I agree with you although a few of my friends have done the pay to stay away from cigarettes (1000 clams!) and some the same for drugs. I feel there are better ways to go about this- like a trip to see someone with emphesema, or a drunk driving accident or anecdotes I like to call “really messed up things I did, someone else did while under the influence of too much stuff that they can never take back, erase etc”
I like the incentive of (well informed) intrinsic motivation (combined with swift threats).
I also don’t pay my kids to do chores- that is a part of being in this family. Nobody ever slipped me any cash for making dinner, raking leaves or cleaning the toilet. Just my 2c.
I used to get $ for As on my report card. It never motivated me.
I am with you, lady – financial incentives for this kind of thing is just going about it in the wrong way. No dice. Boo!!