Last night my daughter went to her very first dance. It was a “Bubblegum Boogie” at the local community centre: a special event for students in grades 4-6 where the kids can get together and groove to their favourite tunes.
When my nearly-nine fourth-grader came home from school last week telling me that she wanted to go to “the Bubblegum” (as kids-in-the-know call it), I was enchanted. I willingly hared off to the community centre to reserve her spot and didn’t give it a second thought. Some of my friends’ kids have gone to these dances for a few years, and I always loved to hear their cute stories about the fun and adventures these little ones have in the safety of a chaperoned, local and yet grown-up-feeling event. These nine to twelve year-olds are really into popular music and rock stars, and being able to groove with their friends from 7-9 on a Friday night seemed like a really fun time to me.
So I innocently mentioned it to a few of my friends whose daughters are also in grade four at my daughter’s school. I just thought it would be fun if a bigger group of them were there together, along with kids they know from the neighbourhood Catholic school and from the next grade or two above them in the public school. It’s a small-ish community, and most of us know each other from school or soccer, dance or swimming lessons.
I was not prepared for the response I got.
Both of my good friends (with whom I usually agree about 90% on parenting-related questions) emphatically refused to allow their daughters to attend. When — in all innocence — I asked why, they responded with:
“Not already: it’s not appropriate for them to go to dances”
“They’re too young for it”
“I always hated dances…I don’t want her to go through that”
Is there something wrong with me or my judgment as a parent? Am I breeding a precocious little floozy here? I don’t think so. This is one of those cases where I feel like my friends are over-protecting their kids. I mean, we’re talking about an event that’s been running successfully in the community for years, and that is geared towards their age group. They give them a piece of Double-Bubble at the door, for heaven’s sake! It’s not like I’m suggesting we drive our grade four girls over to the local high school to crash one of their dances.
I dunno. I just don’t see the problem. My daughter came home last night glowing with excitement. She had such a great time, hanging in the caf’ drinking iced tea and a munching a little grab-bag of candy treats. She bought a glow-stick necklace and danced to Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. She danced with a nice young boy from her class and she is excited about going to the next dance.
So what do you guys think? Are they all too young? Is this an inappropriate event for this age group? Would you let your child attend?
Smoothie Blender
There is no better way to start your day than to drink a fresh smoothie
You know what I think is missing in our society. Family dances. When I grew up we belonged to a Yacht Club. It was not as grand as it sounds. All the members had to contribute at least 100 volunteer hours to keep the place going and the cost down. There were weekly races and picnics. On holidays there would be a big cover dish (potluck) supper, and they would bring in a DJ or band and string lights up around the cement bulkhead.
After the race we would all cram into the little bathrooms and set up our curling irons and blow dryers and makeup bags. We would change into summer dresses. We danced with our brothers and fathers and friends of our fathers.
It was nice. You learned how to behave. How to make small talk. How to tell which parent had had a bit too much wine…..
And when you were really grown up… at least 16. Your parents might even let you go to the Commodores Ball in January at the Elks club with a real band and a fancy dinner! And if you were really lucky, that girl’s hunky brother who was home from college might even ask you to dance!
Ahh the memories.
I think the dance sounds like fun! I would have sent my almost-nine-year-old daughter if she expressed an interest.
Wow. I am with Jen. How stunning does she look – and so happy. How can anything be wrong with that? Also, music and dance is so much a part of what we do in life it must be so confusing for kids to suddenly hear that they are too young for something they probably believe they are pretty much doing all the time. Most people dance at home with their kids all the time, kids take dance classes and create routines with their friends as jen mentioned, they may have been to weddings or other celebrations where everyone takes part and then to all of a sudden hear that it is not appropriate or they are too you must really boggle them. I can’t figure it out?!
For one thing, your girl looks BEAUTIFUL! For another, I totally agree with you and Laura. Come ON. Do they dance with their pals at home? Yes. So what’s wrong with taking something they enjoy doing and making it a special evening out? The only way it is inappropriate is when parents assume things and take it too far. Your girl is lucky. She’ll have experience at dances and interacting socially in this setting which can only be a good thing.
In this age of information I think most parents have lost their reasoning. No bike rides, no tree climbing, no walking to school, and now no Bubblegum dances? This is getting out of control. I could not wait for the yearly Family Dance in elementary school. Sometime we danced with boys, but mostly the girls just danced in a group, giggled and had a fabulous time. My kids’ school’s Halloween Dance is the event of the year! All the kids have so much fun in a safe environment. I think it’s outrageous that your friends would think grades 4-6 are too young for these types of things. It’s better than high school where they are likely having sex in the change rooms (don’t ask how I know this!)
Alberta does equal prude-ville though sometimes, doesn’t it?