How did I miss this story? I must have been distracted. A ‘man’ in the U.S. was charged with slapping a crying toddler on a flight. That was right after he used a racial slur to the parents about their baby, who is not the same race as them. Very unreal. And look, there is nothing to discuss on this. Wrong. So wrong on so many levels.
BUT. It’s now raising the issue about should there be adult only flights as an option for those who wish it. This seems to be going in line with the adult only restaurants and coffee shops.
I have an opinion on this (I know! Shocking!). It may not jive with yours. Let’s discuss.
I’m all for it. I really am. If I could fly with Will and be assured that I didn’t have to worry about pissing off other passengers, I would pay extra. You pay for a massage to relax…why not pay to relax a bit more on a flight? Why not take away a variable of worry?
I can tell you this. If I was going on a child free vacation and for an extra $50 I could be assured of a kid free flight, I might take it. Peace aside, I would also help to alleviate my guilt at leaving the kid at home if I didn’t have to see others!
As for restaurants. I’m 100% behind there being kid free restaurants. There are so many awesome, kid friendly restaurants. We eat out probably once a week and we go to places where we know kids can be kids, where both of us can enjoy our night. Kids can be experimental with food without going to fancy restaurants at 8pm. I’m sorry but if I’m paying $100 for my meal and $60 for a babysitter, I don’t want to be sitting next to a table of kids. I don’t care how well behaved they are.
Recently, we were at a restaurant/bar with a slew of friends. We were shooting pool and shooting the shit and my trucker mouth friend was dropping the ‘mothereffer’ bomb quite a few times. This woman came over and said, ‘excuse me but there are children here.’ I wanted to say, ‘yes and it’s 9pm and maybe they shouldn’t be.’ Instead, we all shushed down and were on our best behaviour. No thanks. Why should we be? We left our kids at home where they would be happier.
I love my kid. I love most other kids. Not everyone has kids. Not everyone loves kids. It’s okay to not want to have kids around. As long as there are options available to everyone, I don’t see a thing wrong with kid-free zones.
You?
YES!! It’s “the lack of respect for others around you” that is the problem, more than being understanding about kids behaving the way kids often do… babies cry, as do bored children – I think most people are tolerant when they need to be – but when people don’t curb bad behaviour of small ones, which infringes on the enjoyment of others around them, it’s bad for everyone. (Of course, you can’t start smacking kids on airplanes, though – that guy was a total lunatic!)
I agree with you Sara. If people are willing to pay a little extra for a kid-free zone then why not? Wouldn’t it make everyone a little more comfortable? I travel with my kids and they’ve been super travellers (knock on wood). I think most people are tolerant. But parents need to know their own children and respect others around them. The planes are small enough to begin with and sitting for even a couple hours isn’t easy even for adults. Keep your little ones entertained and have snacks handy.
Only once did I recall a crazy flight coming home on a red-eye from Paris. Knowing that I would be sleeping en route I thought it was a good idea. However a family of 3 children (one set of toddler twins) didn’t bring anything to keep their children busy. No snacks. No toys. No colouring books. No sippy cups. And dad decided to sit himself a couple rows away from mom and kids with a drink in hand the entire time. Needless to say the entire flight was furious as dad didn’t help out mom and the kids were screaming the entire flight. But you could see that people were compassionate and tried to be understanding. I even entertained one kid for a while when the mom broke down in tears. BTW, I offered my seat (adjacent to the kids) to the dad at the beginning of the flight and he refused. Huh?
well, i don’t know if it would be discrimination…i would personally equate it to GO’s new “no cell phone” rule on certain trains. some people want quiet spots to work or just be. everyone is allowed to ride the train, there are just certain spots and times where it’s quiet.
I disagree completely. Kids are people too, and this is discrimination.
I agree 100%.
it reminds me a little bit of our Autism Ontario events. Once a month the local pool is rented or the bowling alley and families with children with autism are free to use the facilities. “Autism only”, if you will.
The kids can stim and scream (out of joy OR disdain, whatever)
Our children are free to be who they are without judgement. It is a godsend for us parents to just let everything go and just be who we are. With each other.
I love the idea of child free restaurants. Flights. Vacations. I would pay extra to guarantee such!
That said, we take our kids to restaurants that are generally “family friendly” – Kelsey’s, East Side Mario’s…they need to learn how to behave in public. They need to learn restaurant manners. They need to learn expectations.
If we don’t give them an opportunity to do great in these situations – they will never learn.
I think the societal problem is the extremely low expectations people generally have of children, combined with a ridiculous sense of entitlement – it makes for horror shows in public.
I think it’s awful that that mother approached your friend and told HER to clean up her language, when she should have taken her children out of the bar at 9PM. I’d never have had the nerve. Too many parents excuse the atrocious behaviour of their offspring by saying “kids are kids”. While that can certainly be true, it’s inappropriate to take your two year old into a fine-dining sort of restaurant for over 2 hours, when you know for a fact that by 8:30 PM your kid will be in melted pile under the table. No one would expect that child to behave perfectly for that amount of time… which is why that child should be left at home.
I know my dinner is wrecked when “kids are being kids” around me, and I’m spending $100 on my dinner… I suppose I might be inclined to hit the “kid-free” zones from time to time. It’s a shame this idea needs to gain so much speed. Some parents should just know better – they’re ruining EVERYTHING!!
Sara, I’m with you on this one 100%! Especially as my kids get older, I find that my inner tolerance for toddler/preschooler behaviour goes down and I have to actively remind myself to be patient, they’re just being kids. But I do feel like many parents of young kids have an expectation that people in all environments should tolerate their children’s behaviour, and I take issue with that. If your child’s behaviour is disruptive to others in a public place, you should remove them from the environment – even if it only means stepping out into the parking lot to calm down a screaming toddler and then coming back in. This is not just for the benefit of the adults around you – it is an important lesson for the child, too.
Oh…and when WE were kids? Our parents NEVER would have taken us to a fancy restaurant – it was just understood that some places are not appropriate for children, because children cannot be expected to behave appropriately in them. Duh! There are plenty of kid-friendly places out there: go to them with your children and enjoy an early dinner without stressing about your kids rooting around under the table or drinking the creamers! I’m baffled why you would even *want* your kids with you at a fancy restaurant.
As for the flights, when you’re locked in and can’t remove a screaming child, then it is incumbent on others to keep themselves in check. What that man did is an outrage. But kid-free flights? I guess as long as there’s sufficient demand and doesn’t affect the ability of families to book travel then I’m not opposed to it. I’m lucky because both my kids have been excellent travellers right from infancy. Neither one has ever shed a tear or raised their voice on an airplane (and we’ve flown countless times). Yes…I was the smug lady to whom everyone said, “wow! Your baby was so good!” after the flight. (sorry!)
ooohhhhh…yer gonna start a fight 🙂
i can see the merit in kid free zones. i went for a “fancy” haircut one saturday AWAY from my kids to feel all grown up and a parent came in for haircuts for his kids and i was all tense with the normal kid sounds i was trying to avoid (no, i wasn’t at supercuts…it was a high end salon) they were fantastic kids but i just wanted to be around big people…just big people.
i guess you’re going to get the argument that kids are people and have all the same rights as bigger people so 9:00 at a bar is totally fine for kids to be out (what? really?) but sometimes people with and without kids want to get away for a few hours at dinner or a few days at a kid free resort and people with kids have to understand that. i see nothing wrong with a kid free night at a restaurant or kid free/quiet friendly hours at a coffee shop. i can’t afford to go on an adults only weeklong vacation so a few hours at dinner will have to do…and i want big people ONLY there!
sure kids are kids and have their quirks (gawd knows mine do sometimes) but if i stood on my chair and sang the abc’s i’d be asked to leave 🙂
Love this post and totally agree with you. About everything.