A few weeks ago, I started googling ‘beavers’. Before you get any odd ideas…I was looking to see at what age I could start Will off in scouting. I was super excited to get him going. I was a Brownie and a Girl Guide. I loved it. I have amazing memories of badges and camping and friendships. I was pumped for Will to experience the same. I’m especially keen because of the male role models he would meet since he’s living in a fatherless home.
This weekend, CBC reported that “Scouts Canada has signed out-of-court settlements with more than a dozen child sex-abuse victims in recent years, shielding the incidents from further media attention.” I’m heartbroken and obviously a bit naive.
I’m not sure why I assumed an organization like Scouts Canada would be immune to child sexual abuse. It’s a perfect place for pedophiles I suppose. It makes me so sad though. Is anything immune? How are we supposed to release our kids to swim teachers, coaches, tutors, brownie leaders, teachers….and feel safe in the knowledge that they are not going to be mistreated?!
I live a great deal of my life by my gut. If my gut tells me something isn’t right, I trust it. But can I leave Will’s well-being up to my gut? It’s too important. Can we count on police checks and background interviews? I don’t want to raise Will being paranoid all the time or we’d live in a plastic bubble but how the hell could you live with yourself if something ever happened?
For you parents of older kids, do you have some advice for me? I know I have to talk to him about inappropriate touching (and honestly, I do already) and keep our communication lines strong – but besides that??
Go figure: in our area, Beavers are for “bad” kids, yet guides are great. This whole story is just so upsetting and really rocks our faith in “the system”.
Thanks Therese! The info is so helpful. I will absolutely still be signing him up for Beavers…can’t wait!
My husband has been a Scout leader for 14 years, and me a Guider for 12. I am deeply saddened by the reports that are coming out about a great organization that has done so much for my family, and for other youth. Whenever you have adults in positions of authority (schools, teams, clubs, church groups, whatever) there is some risk and the only way to completely eliminate that risk is to spend all of your time with your children, which would not be healthy for them or you. At some point you have to put your trust in others.
I also know that times have changed. Both Scouts Canada and Girl Guides of Canada now go to great lengths to ensure their leaders are appropriately screened (police record checks, reference checks, interviews), provide/require extensive leader training and there are policies in place to ensure no leader is alone with youth. Scouts Canada also has a suspend first, investigate later policy in the event of any allegation of wrongdoing. I have seen these policies at work first hand. Yes, occasionally one bad apple slips through the cracks, and like everything else, that is when the organization gets the publicity, rather than showing the fantastic feeling when a Cub makes it to the top of the climbing wall for the first time, or the satisfaction when a Scout learns to cook his own meals over the fire he built from the wood he chopped, or the international cooperation among youth on issues from the environment to poverty when they attend World Jamborees.
My children will continue to be involved in Scouting and Guiding as long as they are interested. My 11 year old can’t wait until she is 14 and old enough to travel on an international trip like her sister – she went with guiders I had never met, but I had no fears because I knew they were Guiders just like me, and who better to trust with my children. It was an experience of a lifetime for her.
Sara, Beavers starts in Kindergarten, typically age 5. Go with your gut, and talk to Will. If you are still worried – volunteer if you can, or stick around for a meeting or two and find out for yourself.
Aileen said: “We can do things to decrease the odds, but we can’t live in a bubble.” All you can do is this. Ain’t parenting fun? 🙂
I think Cayla hit it on the head with “Trust your gut, educate your Will”. Educating our children and maintaining open communication are two of our most powerful tools in parenting. Teaching our children to look people in the eye, and “see” those around them, helps them to not appear as a victim. Which can help them to not become one.
..i was going to say…not sure the church affiliation puts my mind at ease…
One of the guys I work with, just went camping with his son’s scout troup this weekend. Prior to to going, he had to watch a movie and take a test on inappropriate touching..
Here in Texas, they troups are all school or church related..not that you can trust the priests either though!!!
Thank Aileen. I totally forgot about getting a neighbourhood troop where I’ll know many of the parents. All my friends mom’s were our ‘owls’ at Brownies…
thanks for commenting in Cayla. The exception not the rule is a great statement and easily forgotten.
My son is a Beaver, and his dad is a volunteer leader this year, but wasn’t last year. It’s in our neighbourhood. I know many of the kids and some of the dads. Our troop is not co-ed. They have procedures in place, like no child being left alone with an adult and such to help with these issues. I think knowing some of the people involved will help. I think talking to our kids will help. We can do things to decrease the odds, but we can’t live in a bubble. As you say, you have to leave them alone with other adults all the time and we can’t be there all the time. I agree with the others, that abuse is the exception, not the norm.
I read that headline too… Yeesh.
I was a Brownie and a Girl Guide also, and I understand just what you’d love to have Will be a part of – it’s a wonderful organisation (or at least in theory) and it’s disappointing to find out about the “hush-hush” parts at work here. 🙁
I still think you have to go with your gut on these kinds of things. Whether he plays hockey or karate or t-ball, you just have to keep your eyes and ears open. We don’t want our kids to be scared and freaked outI loathe the idea of having to take a side-long look at everybody that will come in contact with my kid(s)… but I guess that’s just how it has to be. Ack.
We looked into Beavers also. Scouts are co-ed now. For a variety of reasons we decided not to join (before the news). A friend of mine, John and I hatched a plan over a few drinks at the Sausage. We would form our own group. We really wanted it to be more focused on the outdoors like the original Baden Powell Scouts. We also wanted it to be a family thing, not something we dropped the kids off at.
Little Acorns was born. “Mighty Oaks from Little Acorns Grow”. So far we are meeting about once a month. Last month we went for a hike, identified plants and trees and then all made pizza together for dinner. This month we are having a drumming circle, outdoor games and making quiche together for supper.
As to how to keep our children safe, I say get to know the leaders as well as you can. Stick around for the meetings and maybe volunteer for the camping trips. Keep it up until you are comfortable. As Cayla says, these things are the exception.
Although I must say I felt pretty good about our decision after the news story broke.
It is a really tricky subject…
My husband is a criminal lawyer, a profession where he is in contact with “bad” people on a regular basis and thus, is super-paranoid when it comes to our kids. I always thought he was a little too paranoid & this belief was substatiated by a therapist who said he suffered from “secondary trauma disorder”. In other words, by being surrounded by horrible events all the time, people in high-risk professions, such as his, along with police officers, divorce lawyers, etc, start to think this is the “norm” even though it isn’t. And because this is their normal, they think it is much more likely to really happen to them.
I think that we are constantly being bombarded with news such as the scouts story, and thus, are beginning to think that this is the norm, that it happens all the time. Maybe we are all becoming vicitms of Secondary Trauma Disorder. While it certainly does happen, I really do think that it is the exception, not the rule. Think of the millions of other kids who have gone though scouts unscathed.
My advice? Trust your gut, educate your Will, and then try to accept that most of the world is a good place filled with good people.