Just last week you went to your PROM. I could feel the tension leading up to it.You could slice it with a knife. And I know you were at odds with that tension.You knew instinctively that to over plan, over discuss and over analyze is a curse of women everywhere. You knew that some people behaved well in the planning and some did not.
I loved when you sat on my bed the next day and told me your stories. You came to these conclusions on your own but they are worth repeating-
Life is not made up of ceremonies and formal gowns and extra makeup and glam shots. It is made up of glances, and that touch that made a difference, and doing your best and every single beautiful, difficult day. Not one night.
Your date is not all important. He is a companion, maybe a friend. He might be nervous and shy. He might not be kind. He might leave with your best friend, or worse kiss her passionately in front of you and everyone you know. He is human and so are you. Just because the night is magical doesn’t mean he is.
Your dress is lovely. You spotted it first. You tried it on and it was perfect but you did not trust your gut. You needed 8 more hours of shopping to come back to that first dress. Your gut was good but you needed proof. Sometimes love is this way.
To see a girl in a fabulous floor length dress with knockout hair speak and move as though she is in jeans and a tshirt and bare feet is always a beautiful thing. That was you that night. I was in awe.
When you said to me “thank you, mommy” the next day because it was a really expensive night- you amazed me. Please know I loved making it happen for you. Please know saying thank you made a difference to me.
When a friend drinks too much remember she/he is human. Sometimes that person striving to be perfect all week can’t take it anymore. Somtimes they are drinking because they are in pain. Sometimes they are drinking because they dont like themselves and sometimes they are drinking because it feels good and they think more will make them feel great. More is often followed by you holding their hair while they barf.
The next day I had to laugh as you texted me at 6:20 am to say you were at the sleepover with 8 of your friends having fun. I had just gotten your sister up to go down to the water for rowing.
Life. One is just coming in and the other is just going out.
congratulation Susie on this big event for your family- I love that tradition. Thanks for reading!
Thanks for this series of posts. Once I could see the keyboard through my tears again, I cribbed some of your truly wise words (credited, of course!) and will share them with my daughter at her bat mitzvah this weekend.
Oh Nancy. Tears in my eyes. I feel this ache in my gut at the thought of having to let them go. I have a few years but I know this will be me soon. I love the way you talk about your children. xo Mom
I find, at times, the whole over done thing at grade 8 really cuckoo dont you, kim?
So sweet. I have my daughter going to her gr 8 graduation this June, Not quite the Prom…and I tell her that this is not “that big of a deal” compared to high school. Going from Grade 8 to gr 9 is a given or at least it should be. 🙂
Sounds like she had a blast and a half… what a good girl you’ve raised, Village. Of course, this doesn’t surprise me in the least. 😉
Nanc! What an amazing picture – they all look like princesses…
i think that’s me in 9 years 🙂 it’s time i started listening to you more! i’ll need to read these great posts then!