10 Signs I Know We're Moving Forward

Autism is such a subjective disorder. Even the diagnosis part is probably the most subjective diagnosis process out there. They base it on behaviour. Cuyler was diagnosed using the ADOS – Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule.
Over the course of the 2 days we were getting the ADOS done, Cuyler decided to show NONE of his skills, but instead brought all of his indesired behaviours with him. He also decided to throw one of the biggest sh!t-fits we’d ever seen. All on tape. All for them to go over again and again.
The basis of his “moderate/severe autism” diagnosis was the behaviour they observed over those 2 days.
I often wonder where he’d fall if we re-did it now.

Every now and then I like to step back and try to take a look at the big picture and focus on new skills and new, positive behaviours we’re seeing.

Here’s what’s been going on these days:

1. He had a sleepover. Or at least he participated in Cams. Cam had 2 friends over for a sleepover last Friday. Cuyler wanted to do everything that they did. Watch movies (that he’s not interested in), play video games (that he doesn’t know how to play), eat chips (that he’s not supposed to), drink pop (that none of them should, but hey – it’s a sleepover) and sleep in a sleeping bag. The boys were wonderful with him- which made it that much better.

2. He is requesting what he wants in his lunch. And what lunch bag to pack it in. This shows us he is making personal choices. It’s not a static or a controlling thing either. I think he enjoys being part of that process. He never cared before.

3. He is preparing his own food. Not much really but he will make his own pizza. Basically he’ll get a frozen crust out of the freezer, toast it in the toaster oven, add his sauce and toast it again. He’ll ask us to cut it into 4’s for him.

4. He loves anything Mo Willems and the Pigeon. He has created his own pigeon books and makes his own pigeon characters. This is HUGE. Cuyler couldn’t properly grasp a pencil in the fall. Now he’s doing things like this (he also took these photo’s):

5. He loves webkinz. Cam has had an account for over 2 years now. I must admit that I have spent several nights on it playing Cash Cow, Polar Plunge, Home Before Dark and Stack’Em Up or Get Eleven Solitaire to acquire more KinzCash ~~than~~ for Cam. Recently we opened up an account for Cuyler. He chose his own username and password and he will spend some time each night playing games and buying things for his pets. Lately I have to spend some time each night replenishing the KinzCash he has ~~wasted~~ spent on them.

6. He wants to be with the big boys. After school we stay and play at the park at the school. There is a forest in the back of the school that the bigger kids go into (Cam included). I would stay at the park with Cuyler and Eva. Lately Cuyler scrambles to keep up with the big guys running into the forest. I scramble behind with Eva. He just wants to do what the big kids are doing and be a part of their “stuff”. He SOOO wants to do what they’re doing – he just doesn’t know how. It doesn’t came naturally to him. But he’s trying. So hard.

7. He thinks farts are funny. He was never really aware of bodily functions – burping or farting. Oblivious to it all. But now when he toots he looks at us and laughs. We laugh back, because let’s face it – farting is funny.

8. He loves the water – FINALLY. I am the mom who has my kids in swimming lessons when they are 12 weeks old. Dunking them under while the other parents look on, horrified. It is a life skill in my opinion and no child of mine will be afraid of the water. Well…Cuy was and it wasn’t until last summer, right before he turned 7 that he was able to get into the water and be comfortable. This was his first time in a pool (willingly) in several years:

And this was his first day of his first ever successful session of swimming lessons:

9. He takes showers now. Independently. Again – another age appropriate behaviour (I think). Cam started showering around 6 or 7. For Cuyler it took awhile for him to be able to manage a shower from a sensory perspective. The other evening I was in my bathroom – where he showers- and I was able to see that he washes his own hair and body. Properly.

10. He does his own seatbelt. I could NOT wait for him to be able to do this!! Not sure why it’s such a huge milestone. Probably just that fact that I am so lazy that it was a pain in the ass for me to walk ALL THE WAY over to the other side of the van to do his up. It was definately a motor issue that he overcame. Mornings are my most dreaded part of the day and this just makes things the tiniest bit easier.

A lot of these things have to do with independence. Which is fantastic. I often feel like I have been raising a 2 year old for five years. When I am able focus on the things he CAN do – I feel less helpless and more hopeful.

Comments

Jenn says

April 15, 2010 at 7:45 am

Hi Christine…CHEERS to Cuyler for overcoming many things this year! Way to go buddy! Tanner has been having a great year too, social connections not seeming to even be a problem (with his Aspergers) at Stewarttown. The teacher said he’s Mr.Popular & everyone loves him! What??? He seems to finally have grasped how to make connections at school, still seems to enjoy alone time at home but at school he’s doing great.
So great news Cuyler, great news Tanner….keep up the good work boys!
Sarah says

April 14, 2010 at 11:24 am

Keep up the amazing job Cuy!
Irish…I was that mom in swimming lessons too…Keigan and Molly but we’re swimming under water before 6 months old….while gasps filled the room! LOL
XOXO
Jennifer Robinson says

April 14, 2010 at 10:37 am

Awesome Christine! I always read your blog and I am cheering you (and Cuyler) on from afar.
midget invasion says

April 14, 2010 at 9:59 am

Those drawings are great! GO Cuyler!
Logan is 5, and we’ve been working on the pencil grasp for two years now. He’s still pretty far off from getting it. He’s finally starting to sort of get into pools now. It’s also been a long process. He is still terrified but will get in for a little bit. We just have to be sure no one splashes him or he completely melts down. Normally our family swimming trips are me and three kids in the pool, with me having to watch Logan running around on the side of the pool, reminding him to not jump and run because it’s slippery.
Seeing Cuyler progress through all of these years gives me hope! Especially after days like yesterday where Logan totally melted down because he had to pick one prize from his speech therapy session. When we got home, he refused to get out of the car for an hour. Lately whenever he has to choose between two things, he wants both, and melts down when he can’t have that. Fun times!
Julie says

April 14, 2010 at 9:11 am

what great pigeon pictures! absolutely spot on. too funny about the webkinz…i think all the parents are doing what you do.
Jen says

April 14, 2010 at 8:52 am

His drawing of the pigeon is AMAZING! My 10 year-old couldn’t draw like that. Also, many of his behaviours sound spot on or even advanced for his age. What an independent guy.
I too have spent many hours on Webkinz and various other sites attempting to help my 7 year-old catch up to her big brother. What we do for our children 😉
Oh yeah, farts are definitely funny.