Summer used to be magical.
The hot weather, the outdoor adventures, the complete and total lack of responsibility. School was over for the year and there was nothing to do except swim, ride bikes and eat ice cream cones. Sometimes we were sent away to stay with grandparents. Other times we went to day camp with our friends, and occasionally, a random teenaged girl was assigned to watch us while our parents were at work. (My childhood au pair was named Annie, and rather poetically, she spoke mostly French.) The days were long and life was good. This was childhood. This was summer.
We were blissfully unaware of what it all meant for our parents.
As a mom, summer means finding childcare for your kids, gagging as you watch the number on your credit card bill climb, and stressing out because strange new people are taking care of your children. Your schedule is completely thrown into a blender for eight weeks, and you still have to pack lunches as well as water bottles, extra clothes, and sunscreen. You have to remember when and where to pick your kids up as it changes from week to week, call in a boat load of favours from grandparents, get to know camp counsellors in the five minutes (or less) you spend with them each morning, and beg your kids for information about their days. Was it fun? Interesting? Safe? Were the camp counsellors and other kids nice to you? Good, because you’re there for four more days and then it’s on to the next camp, where we’ll start all over again.
Oh, and there’s guilt. SO MUCH GUILT. Because while your kids are making crafts, bathing themselves in dirt and having the time of their lives, you’re nowhere to be seen. Nope, they’re spending their precious, coveted time away from school with a group of teenage strangers whose names you can barely remember. (If they even HAVE names. Summer camps are notorious for giving their staff hippie, nature-themed counsellor monikers like Sparrow, Clover or Buck).
Summer is hard for moms. It’s awesome a lot of the time, but it’s hard. If you’re a SAHM, your workload just doubled/tripled/exploded. You get to spend amazing quality time with your kids, but you’re also going to spend hours breaking up fights and wondering if the sticky substance you just walked across was glue, human urine or melted popsicle. Either way, you are blessed, because motherhood is a gift and you must NEVER complain.
If you’re a working mom, summer is a special kind of torture. In addition to all the joyous financial and logistical complications, you’ll miss your kids terribly and feel unreasonably jealous of Buck the Archery Guy and Clover the Crafter. While you’re pushing paper at a desk or running your ass off at your job, your kids are laughing and making memories with camp staff who they’ll never see again after Labour Day. It’s a strange, seemingly unfair setup that will make you yearn to live like the other side (SAHMs), even though you know their lives are equally exhausting and ridiculous. The grass is always greener, though, and when it comes down to it, we all just want to be teachers (but only in the summer, because they don’t have it easy the other eight months of the year.)
Such is summertime in the world of adults with kids. You’re broke and sad and probably tired, too, because you’re a mom…but your kids are happy. They’re discovering tie-dye and friendship bracelets and learning how to play Capture the Flag. They might be picking up some swear words or weird expressions you’ve never heard before, and they’re definitely going to smell like sunscreen and filth until September. They’re shuffling around from camp to camp without a regular routine, but it’s all an adventure to them, and they’re happy. So really, you’re happy—because that’s all that matters.
And hey, we still have the weekends.
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Your post is spot on difficulties on mom problem. World is different when you are a mom.
Nice article, but I must point out that teachers work 10 months rather than the 8 months mentioned. You are very right that we teachers don’t have it easy for those 10 months. Having worked in both the corporate world and teaching, I can say that teaching is wonderful for spending those two summer months with one’s own children, and not paying for summer childcare. 🙂
i literally spend more money on daycare and camps over the 8 weeks of summer break, then I do all year!
It’s mind boggling but I have to send them to camp as i just can’t take 8 weeks of vacation!!
I plan their entire summer with army precision! All camps must be located between the house and my office.
Thank god for grandparents some days
Seriously. My parents both work full-time (I’m 33 and they’re in their mid 50s) but I have called upon my retired MIL and a wonderful aunt who works full-time but gets the summers off (yay teacher family)! Sometimes you need help filling the gaps…
Thank you so much! I feel like all the other parents just drop off kids without a worry in the world and I am the only one desperately worried and anxious — trying to make a connection with a 20 year old to ensure that he or she will provide basic care for my twin boys for the day and week!!! argh Glad to know that there are others who are also worried / feeling guilty etc……
OMG, I’m so anxious, I hear you. I’ve cried in my car after drop off. My husband is 100% used to me calling him in either tears or panic after leaving the kids at a new camp (or, I call because I’m proud of myself for keeping my shit together).
Wow, you really nailed the feelings I have had for so many years! My kids are now well into their teens so they are long past summer camps, but in those years that is exactly how I felt as a working Mom. And when other SAHM’s would say I was lucky to have quiet time, or how frustrated they were about the extra summer mess I really would get jealous as they have no idea the struggle we working moms face too. It really isn’t easy either way…
Thank you for reading and commenting! It really isn’t easy either way…you get it.
Thank you for so eloquently articulating the competing thoughts and feelings I experience while working through the summer!
Thank YOU for reading and sharing this comment! Summer is so hard right now…I love cottage weekends and seeing my kids have fun, but I’m dying for school to start up again so our lives can go back to a normal rhythm! Competing emotions for sure.