This is how I feel most days.
Last week a friend asked me how I do it all and I laughed it off as I usually do. I get that question a lot and never give a real answer, because I don’t really have one. In fact, I really don’t know how I manage to keep it all together most of the time, I just do.
From the outside looking in you may think I have the infamous balance everyone is seeking, but I don’t. In fact, I think balance is a load of horse poop. There is no such thing as work/life balance it’s like the polk-a-roo of parenting and a way for people to make money selling self help books. No one really has balance.
I work full time at a PR agency, I blog here and on my own personal blog, I have recently started up an online fabric shop and I teach at Centennial College one day a week – those are my paid gigs. I also work for free as a full time mom to a demanding two year old, house organizer, cook and loving wife (you can start the slow clap any time). Do you think I have balance? Maybe when I’m doing yoga at 6:30 in the morning in my messy living room, but that’s about the only part of my day that involves “balance”.
To help demystify this balance myth we should probably be more honest when people ask us how we do it all. I should probably answer with I work hard, I burn the candle at both ends, I rarely do what I want, and I’m always on. That’s how I do it all. I also let a lot of things slide like doing laundry on a regular schedule and tidying up our house (I’m sure my mom could think of a few more) keeping in touch with friends and making time to just enjoy the moment.
Anyway, all I’m trying to say here is don’t be fooled by the balance and when people ask you how you do it all. Tell them to sit down and grab a coffee because the answer to that question could take a while.
How do you balance it all? I want the truth.
this is mostly how I operate, too – throw myself at the most seemingly pressing thing for a bit, then move to the next one.
I only manage to do laundry regularly by making sure I do at least one load by the end of every weekend so my children don’t have to go to school naked.
This, and occasionally inviting people over so I have to clean my house!
I constantly am trying (or am being told) to slow my life down, enjoy the moment, focus on what makes me happy, but truth is, full time job, full time parent, full time friend and full time son or brother means there is no balance, just pretty random chaos.
Could I change it? Probably.
Am I going to? Probably not.
J.
what you said! truly, that is all. everyone looks put together on the outside because only we are the only witnesses to our own craziness.
there’s really something to be said about honesty in parenting because there really isn’t enough of it. (there, that’s my parenting book…one line.)
Pendulum’s a good analogy, Tracey. I just left a comment over on Facebook saying I feel like my life’s a teeter totter, and I’m constantly trying to figure out which side needs a little more of my “weight”.
We really are all very busy, and we’ve got to determine where our priorities will lie at any given time. I’m a little sad when things I love (my friends, my hobbies, my husband) get the short end of the stick, but hopefully I’ll have a long life and be able to make up lost time and attention at another stage.
I feel it’s like a pendulum – I give a bunch of stuff my attention for a while, until the other stuff starts to suffer (or scream at me) and then I swing in the other direction, and take care of THAT stuff for a while… it’s the best I can do. Doing it all seamlessly is impossible. I think that adage is, “you can have it all… just not all at the same time.” That certainly rings true for me!
That said, you have A LOT going on, mama… you are a rock star!!