Yesterday, I fetched my morning newspapers from the stoop and read the headlines as usual… The National Post‘s headline read “Ignored By a Dozen Passersby, Girl Now Focus of a Nation.” My eyes quickly scanned the front page, and horrifying phrases like hit by white van… people walk past her… struck again. The photo was a still from a video recording. The little girl in question is two years old.
I forced myself to close the paper and willed myself not to think about it, but I found myself completely distracted during my busy-morning-routine stuff… could this possibly be a hoax? No, it was on the front page of our national paper… right? I went to youtube, searching “Chinese toddler” and my screen instantly showed multiples of the same image, with video links in varying lengths. The first one I clicked had been “removed.” So were the next two. My stomach churned.
I just couldn’t get passed the part about so many people just walking past a child lying in the street. That it could happen in the world we’re currently living in, makes me so very sick and scared for the direction in which humans are going. It’s just scandalous! It’s wicked and uncivilised!! It’s completely deplorable. My eyes were WIDE all morning and I felt… just… crazy.
I decided not to watch the video – and I won’t include it here – it was more than enough just reading about it later, when I was finally ready to take more of it in. In the first place, the idea of a child being struck by a car is one of my personal, every day fears. I can imagine it so clearly in my head, it makes me want to vomit. I didn’t need a real image floating around in my head for the day – some things you just can’t unsee.
. . .
Later the same morning while cruising Facebook, I saw a friend had shared link about a man who feeds and cares for the homeless in India, and I remember uploading this very same video on Urban Moms earlier this year. (I encourage you to have a look again – it’s very short, and veins in these stories are connected to each other.)
Yesterday, as I went along in my busy day, I had both of these stories, with their words and images swirling around inside my head in that slightly conscious-but-not kind of way… the way upsetting things rattle around when one is busily trying to do other things, like making merry at the toddler play-group, and trying to remember what’s on the grocery list I mistakenly left at home.
How can an adult person step around a baby lying in the street? I mean, really?! How can someone hit another person with a vehicle, and drive away? Socio-economical issues in new China… but how quickly humanity is changing as we all try to get ahead. Occupy Wall Street, indeed. What IS our social responsibility in a busy, crowded world at large? We can’t just hand over the contents of our wallets to every person sleeping in a doorway, can we? Can I still have compassion for that guy without having to smell him? What do we do when someone is distressed? Do we always have to act, or can we pick and choose those times when we do?
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts weaving wormholes in my brain yesterday, as I chatted with my little girl in the safety of her stroller, and bought foods to fill our fridge and pantry, and ran into about twenty different people who know me in my neighbourhood, and would probably never step over my body if I fell by the side of the road.
Perhaps that’s just the luck of my geography. And having enough physical space between me and the people around me to be generous with my energy and my spirit, at least, fairly often. I can be kind and touch others (physically, and otherwise) because I don’t need to block out so much misery and discomfort around me, just to afford myself some personal latitude.
Do you get me?
The more crowded a city, the more people can be drawn inward, just to have some space. It’s like being on a city bus with an obvious crazy person in the midst: everyone gets quite busy reading books and newspapers, ear-buds blast ear-candy, people look downward or don sunglasses, and everyone is thinking the same thing – I don’t want to see you, please don’t come near me, I just wanna to get to work…
I have none of this figured out. We can’t all make grand gestures all the time, but maybe there are small things we can all do, because we’re human, and because it’s the right thing to do in the moment? I really don’t know.
I worked hard at driving these nagging thoughts from my mind all morning. They were gone for a while. And then I encountered a woman crying at the bagel store…
(To be continued…)
I watched a blurred-out version of this video on the news, and it appalled me. I also allowed my children, 2 and 5, to watch as well. We have been dealing with my son running away in public recently, funny thing he hasn’t since.
I try not to judge, I live somewhere very different, but I know I would react differently. It still rocks me to the core as no matter what the culture and laws, we are all still human beings. I would stop my car in the middle of the road and attend to anything injured – a person, or an animal – I am not a person to EVER stand by and do nothing. Thank goodness for Canada’s Good Samaritan laws, we can help without fear of prosecution.
Can’t even start with this. Can’t even get past the first paragraph because this story was so upsetting. I promise to try again tomorrow.
words cannot express- if we think too much about this we could go insane
we must be a part of the solution always not the passive bystander to anything
“we must be the change we want to see in the world”
Oh..it still really bothers me to this day!! But what bothers me is how many people simply don’t want to get involved. And I absolutely adhere to the thinking of you don’t have to do anything big to make a difference. Every small action counts as well in life. There’s a great saying that I live daily by…”To the world you may be one person, but to that one person you may be the world.”
And thank you, Tracey for writing about this and making us all stop and think. Actions speak louder than words..and in this case..your words will hopefully inspire action.
Oh my god, Sonya. I simply cannot believe the story about your mother. Crying for help and people ignored her. It makes me sick.
Oh Sonya – what a wretched story. I’m so sorry that happened to your mother… and that no one would stop (in Canada, no less) makes me want to weep.
Indeed, Canadians are not perfect either – there was a videotaped date-rape not so many years ago, and someone on FB reminded me of a homeless man who’d frozen to death in Old Montreal, where people stepped over him half the morning, not realising he was dead, nor doing anything to help a guy lying right in the middle of the street. It’s so shameful…
I can’t stand the idea of this becoming in any way “normal” behaviour of humans.
(And I think the video tape was surveillance from a store across the way… I can’t consider the alternative. *Insert a very colourful bunch of French expletives here too.* Boo! Hiss!!)
Also, I didn’t watch the video, but I read that it was from a nearby store – I’m guessing surveillance. It would be WAY worse to think someone just stood there filming the whole ordeal for 10 minutes… oy.
IKNOWRIGHT??! I would have assumed the same, and I really can’t believe I could be wrong about something as basic as that. Really. Something is seriously wrong in the world if a person doesn’t pick up a bleeding baby. And worse yet, EIGHTEEN people! Lord, I just can’t get my mind around it…
Jen, I know. I still haven’t watched it. *shudders*
I know people are capable of doing heinous things to one another, and yes, there is some serious “darkness” out there. The thing about personal space is just a known observation that comes with population density – but that’s not an excuse for anyone to walk past a writhing baby in the street. The very idea just tortures me. Very sad.
Yes, being a valued member of society… it’s a hard thing to actually teach – one needs to lead by example, I guess. I always bug Oliver to help his sister up if she falls over. I say, “Its your sister! And anyway, when you see someone down, you must help them up if you can.” Gah.
You’re a good egg, Christine. Your children will do right by the world – I can tell. xox
It’s awful, Aileen. Honestly. I just can’t believe any of this thing. 🙁
Tracey, it’s mind-boggling that there are people in this world who are so self absorbed and have no compassion for fellow humans. I’d like to think that we were all brought up to help each other. What goes around comes around. Do unto others as you would have to you. It’s a smaller world that we think but I’d like to think that most of us, MOST of us. Will stop and help. Most of us WILL rise to the occasion. But unfortunately it’s not always the case. This brings me back to a few years ago when my mother, older petite asian fell downtown, tripped on some streetcar tracks on a very busy city street. Her glasses cut just above her browline and she was bleeding profusely. NOT ONE PERSON STOPPED TO HELP HER. She was dressed like any of our moms. Not that it mattered because I’d like to think people will stop and help regardless of appearance. She was left crying on the street until a transit driver spotted her and called 911. Cars drove around her (luckily) and she was devastated that people were walking around her with cellphones ignoring her. She speaks english and asked people to please call for help. NOT ONE. BOILS MY BLOOD BEYOND BELIEF. And this is Canada…in the biggest city.
And to think that this toddler was hit..not only did no one stop but they were documenting it instead of calling for help? Insert swear word here.
I knew nothing about this before reading your story, and I’m sure I’m not alone. While it is beyond appalling that someone could record a child having been hit by a van but not reach out to help her…. I just wonder how many of us are tied up in our own lives, so busy with our own stuff, our unending to-do lists, our can’t-be-late-for’s, our whatever’s, that even while physically witnessing a child in crisis, we can dismiss it as someone else’s problem. It makes me sick to think of it. That my child, my neighbour’s child, any of my extra kids. That they could fall down and be hurt so badly and no one would stop to help…. It makes me sick to think of it.
I know that I would stop to help. Until now, I just assumed that anyone else would, too.
Wow, Tracey. I too can’t bring myself to watch the video. To what end? I keep asking myself. I already know what happened. And what a tragedy. A raw and open reflection of the dark side of humanity.
The personal space point made me think.
I chose not to watch the video. Several of my friends who did watch have regretted hitting play.
I have been accused of being too generous with the people/strangers around me.
I drove a complete stranger to the hospital when I saw her slip on ice and break her ankle. I should have called an ambulance but we were just a few blocks away.
Or the woman I drove half a kilometer to an auto shop in the pouring rain when her car broke down. Hindsight – maybe should have just let her borrow my phone…
I assist elderly folk with their groceries. I pick up things that people drop – jackets, bags and money.
I buy coffee for the person behind me once a week at the Tims drive thru.
I think that makes a community and community. I’m teaching my children how to be a valued member of society by doing unto others…
Looking forward to part 2!
Very well written. I think you’ve captured what most (all?) of us struggle with. And what do we teach our children? Don’t get involved; you might get hurt? Or be human; get involved? Life on this planet is not getting any easier, that’s for sure.