Pssst… I wanna tell you something. *takes deep breath*
It’s a really good thing.
*exhales*
Can you smell my minty-fresh breath? Nice, right? Do you know why it’s minty-fresh?
Because I stopped smoking cigarettes one year ago today.
*ohnoshedi’int*
OH YES SHE DID!
I haven’t had a single one this whole time. And I’m so very, very proud of myself because if there was ever a hard case, surely, I’m the one.
I’m not going to be all preachy about it… I understand the trap, you see, and I know how tough the pull is. I won’t say it was easy, or that some days weren’t harder than others in the beginning, but I’ll also say that once I made the decision to stop, the switch was flipped, and it was over.
Because it’s hard to hide smoking from a kindergarden-aged kid.
And because it’s hard to maintain a healthy weight when you smoke cigarettes instead of eating meals.
And because it’s hard to smoke cigarettes and not to feel like a gigantic ass while someone in your family has cancer.
And because it’s hard to feel good about kissing strange men people when you smell like an ashtray.
One year ago I saved my own life. And because I know how strong the pull can be, I will not pretend that it’s won’t always be something I need to be conscious of, but I also know I’m not easily swayed. Cigarette smoke doesn’t bother me. I don’t mind being in the company of others who are smoking. I’m not tempted at all.
Because I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore.
There was a point before I stopped that my weight had dropped into the low ninety’s, which is tres low, even when you’re only five feet tall. I was ridiculously boney and looked gaunt and terrible. I don’t have issues with food – I have issues with cigarettes and coffee – plus, everyone knows how nicotine speeds metabolism somewhat. But my smoking was never for weight-management purposes. My caloric intake was always less than my output.
Whenever I caught a cold, I had the sickest-sounding cough ever, and it would linger for weeks. So not sexy.
Since last year, I’ve levelled out at a twelve pound weight-gain, and I look like a person again. This is a really good thing! I’d like to think that even if I’d started off at a healthy weight, and gained ten to fifteen pounds, that not smoking anymore is definitely worth the change.
I can breathe again. I have more money in my pocket. My bum is back! (Bow-chicka wah-wah…) And with any luck, Oliver will have no memory of me ever smoking. And though no one gets out of this life alive, I don’t need to help myself along in this kind of way, and pay for the privilege of killing myself, to boot.
One year ago I saved my own life. I decided to stop, and I did. That’s it. I. Am. Free.
I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore.
And if I can do it, anyone can do it. (Yes, really.)
And if I can do this… then I can do anything. (Yes! Really!!)
I’m so very proud today.
YAY FOR ME!!!
WOOOOT! Hooray for you! I quit almost 12 years ago, and aside from some headaches and wicked fast-food cravings, I was alright. But, like Erin, it was my fourth or fifth time quitting. And I quit for exactly the same reason. I woke up one morning smelling the smoke on my hair and my clothes with a thoroughly foul taste in my mouth and was just done.
Also? You ROCK! Congrats, lady!
Congrats Tracey! You should be proud, it’s not an easy one to kick.
I quit 7 years ago this past November. I woke up after my cousin’s 30th birthday party. I had too much to drink and too much to smoke. I was disgusted with the smell of my hair and clothes and the taste in my mouth. I threw out my pack and never touched them again. It wasn’t even hard.
However, that was probably my 4th or 5th time quitting, and the other times were hard, and didn’t stick.
Sarah, thank you!! I’m proud too. And yes, it can be tough… I’m happy for you that it’s not a temptation you’re fighting these days! YAY!! xox
I am so proud of you!!! I so wish my husband would stop smoking. Not only because it’s bad for him, but because it’s such a (non-pregnancy) temptation for me, too!
I know how hard it has been for hubs to try to quit, so when I say I’m proud, I totally am!!! xoxo
Thanks mum! Proud of you too!! xox
I used to smoke the odd cigar too… I wouldn’t dare to now, of course, but late-night drinking with chuckling boys and cigars? Wonderful. But I can still stay up late…
Christine- I get all of this. I liked the taste from the beginning. I like to smoke the odd cigar even now but I do it in private because it is so cliche. Give me a man with beautiful hands smoking a cigar and I can hardly stand it. Love the smell.
Congratulations, that’s fabulous! And a good piece too, I’m so proud of you!
I know there’s never a good time to quit… I know you know that too. I actually chose a “hard” time, since I knew if I could get over that hump, it would be fine. And I read “James Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking” and for reasons I cannot explain, it worked like a freaking charm for me. No patches. No gum. No sorrow – I swear. Try it. You have nothing to lose. (And you know me enough to know you’ll never find me in the “self help” section of a book store – makes me roll my eyes…) Try it.
And good luck with all your dental! Not envious, lady… oy. But after. Do it.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s so seriously awesome! I plan on quitting and soon! Things in my life are a changing for the better and this NEEDS to be one of those things.
One day at a time, I know that right now is the absolute worst time to quit. As much of an excuse as that sounds, I know me and I know the dissapointment that is inevitable once I start again because I know that I will… However once I get settled and do the final (huge) investment in getting my dental hell taken care of, I will quit. I’m not ready just yet but YOU give ME lots and lots of hope, so thank you!
Jen, you actually have to force yourself to smoke – there’s nothing good or natural about it at first… and with practice, soon afterwards come addiction usually. It’s terrible. Every smoker wishes he or she had never started. I’m glad you never fell into the trap!!
Thanks for the encouragement, lady!!
Thanks so much, Amanda! It’s not been easy every day, but now I don’t even think about it. YAY!!
Congratulations, Tracey! I was never a smoker so I really don’t get the allure (and reading Christine’s comment actually made me gag!). I don’t know how or why someone would even start. I find this amazing but there is obviously something there because so many start and become addicted. You SHOULD be SO proud that you were strong enough to quit!
I watched my grandpa whither and die very young from what started as throat cancer. He was a heavy smoker and I was at a very impressionable age. I always looked at a cigarette and thought “this is what killed Grandpa.” The good thing is, it kept me away.
Congrats on your big one year anniversary!
You are amazing, Tracey!! I have experienced the power of addiction with food (there were times I wish it were something more like alcohol or cigarettes so I could go cold turkey…instead I’ve have to develop a good relationship with food and stare it in the face three times a day and try to make wise choices) and can only imagine how strong you are to have overcome the nicotine addiction!! Yay! Celebrate and be proud!!
I’m sure you were never more interesting than you are now, Nancy – impossible!! I’m pretty pleased – and thanks for cheering me on, friend! xox
Oh I was an excellent smoker once and loved it. In fact I am pretty sure I was far more interesting when I smoked. This is a big deal !!!!Good for you and you are right – you can do anything. Congratulations. xxoo
Anny, when we first knew each other back in the day, I wasn’t smoking. I started again within the year after Oliver was born… and then I quit soon after I got pregnant with Madame (and reluctantly – I was showing, and I would have no peace about smoking where all my friends and neighbours could see me…) but started again within a few months of her birth. Finally last year, I said enough. And it feels totally different to me this time – it’s good.
Indeed – it does very bad things to the skin, and around the mouth too… I’m glad it’s over.
YAY!!!!
Thanks Julie! I really hope I did save my kids’ mother, and my husband’s wife too, and my mum’s daughter… it was high time. I’m so happy it’s been so smooth. YAY!!
You know, Christine, I always said that if I could just smoke one or two cigarettes a day, that I probably would still smoke… but I’m a total pig about them, and at the end, was smoking about 15/day. Not as much as the pack/day I was smoking before I quit the first time (I was 25 then) but waaaaaaay more than just a few now and then. I don’t miss them at all because I know it’s never just a drag. Or just one. Or just two. I don’t miss being out of control about them. This is better. 🙂
Thanks for being proud of me… I’m proud too!! And indeed, I SHOULD go out and buy something pretty, shouldn’t I?
Never again, Kathleen… thanks for celebrating! Wooooot-wooooot!!!
Thank you Elizabeth!! A year does tend to go by in a hurry… I remember when I said “six weeks down” in my FB status once, and you asked if I was pregnant. Hee!! For me, this is better. Your encouragement never went unnoticed, babe – thank you again!!
Id, I’m glad your dad finally kicked the habit too! My parents both smoked, and both eventually quit too… it’s something to be proud of indeed! How nice to be liked!! Thanks for your kind words, lady. xox
Oh, Mlle Tracey, this makes we want to cry. My heart swells with pride and happiness for you. And I’m so happy for your ass too
wow, that’s wonderful! i love how you put it….”i saved my life”. that is huge. you also gave your children their mother for a very, very long time. good for you! i can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you.
That’s amazing Tracey. I am so glad you posted this. It’s so important to recognize what a big deal this is – really!
I quit when I got pregnant with Cam. I smoked very casually after I had Cuyler. In the 4 years since I had Eva I’ve probably had about 6 drags off of Sean’s cigs. Yes – he smokes – but truly he doesn’t want to. He’s going to go the Champix route. He’s tried everything from cold turkey to hypnosis.
I miss smoking. I miss it when I see someone exhale.
I miss it when I have a drink and want to get that buzz going a little quicker.
I miss it dearly with a hot coffee on a summer morning.
I miss it after a really good Sunday dinner.
I love the smell of it – especially when a cig is first lit. That first waft of fresh cigarette smoke…
Reading all that back – it really sounds kind of gross – but it’s all true…
PROUD of you girl! It’s no easy feat. YAY for you indeed! You need to go and buy yourself something really pretty to celebrate!
Wow!! Congratulations and thank you thank you thank you for sharing inspiring good news. I love to celebrate every time I hear of someone who has kicked the habit of being tricked by tobacco and the whole murderous industry that it is. Take care!
So proud of you, Beautiful!! I can’t believe it has been a whole year already. Way to kick some ass, deary. Celebration is in order!!!
Hi Tracey,
As a child of a smoker, YAY!!
My dad worked for a giant cig maker and they “bonused” the good employees with extra cigarettes on top of their weekly carton. I have vivid memories of asking him why he smoked and wishing I could hug him. I have the smell sensitivity of a tracking dog.
After a funeral for a relative who died of lung disease, he missed my brother’s birth rushing home. He tossed his pack out the train window and never smoked again.
I was one happy little 5 year old. I hardly even minded another little screaming sibling born just behind my other screaming sibling less than a year old.
The more I know about you, the more there is to like.
Happy Anniversary!
Id