My friend Aimee and the C-word

When I first discovered I had acquired a fetus, I had some … reservations. The whole situation was rife with pros and cons, and which column was longer depended on how many times I had thrown up that day. I told Aimee, and she said we should go out for dinner. “Are you eating?” she asked, and I answered “only sometimes.”

We sat in a dark corner of one of my favourite restaurants, and she told me that her and her partner had been trying to acquire a fetus of their own – if I didn’t want mine, she’d be happy to take it. And for a glimmer of a second, I considered it – Aimee would be a much better parent than I would, and far more deserving. Shortly after my little guy was born, Aimee became pregnant, and I was thrilled – not very many of my friends have kids, and I imagined ours becoming BFFs (and began arranging their marriage at once).

When Aimee smiles, she smiles with her whole face.

Aimee and I went to school together, though we never had classes together. Remember how much easier it was to make friends when you were locked in the weekly ritual of classes and parties, and everyone you knew knew everyone? We were friends with many of the same people, and over a year or so of dinner parties and birthday parties and party parties, our acquaintanceship morphed into a friendship and now Aimee and her partner, Evani, are among my very favourite people.

When Aimee smiles, she smiles with her whole face.

Aimee should never stop smiling.

Late last month, Evani took Aimee to the hospital with severe stomach pain. While there, they found a tumour, and a few days later, the doctors discovered it was cancer. Their little girl is just five months old and she smiles the way Aimee smiles.

Her diagnosis means she’s got a hell of a fight ahead of her, but Aimee is a tough lady and I have no doubt she’ll kick this thing’s ass. Already, her community has rallied around her, and she’s got the support of local mothers who are donating breastmilk – read here and watch here – and friends and colleagues and even acquaintances cooking meals and running errands and doing everything they can to provide support for Aimee and her amazing little family. “This whole experience has renewed my faith in humanity,” she told me last week.

“This whole experience has renewed my faith in humanity,” she says.

The Canadian healthcare system is obviously pretty amazing and BC has the lowest rate of cancer fatalities in the country. This is the best place to be if this kind of thing is going to happen to you, and Aimee is in good hands. The downside to this place is that it’s expensive – there is no costlier place to live in Canada than here in Vancouver. And with a new baby and a longer-than-anticipated period of time off work, and with her partner having to suddenly take time off work, funds will be tight. So while practical support is abundant, her brother has established a fundraiser to provide financial support as well.

If you’re in Vancouver or the surrounding area and want to help, you can email me at emily.wight@gmail.com to coordinate pick up or delivery of prepared meals or donations of grocery items, baby needs, and stuff like that; if you are a breastfeeding mother and want to donate milk, email margo@margossecrets.com. If you are able, you can donate to Aimee’s brother’s fundraising efforts here.

And wherever you are, if you could please think kindly for Aimee and her family, I would appreciate it. Whether you wish or pray or meditate, put your positive energy on my friend for this next little while; she’s going to need all the healing power she can get.