I had just arrived to the wonderful beautiful magical perfect wedding and had been seated in the church no fewer than 3 minutes when woman seated in pew in front of us, turns around to say hello. Her spidey senses were tingling because I was chatting with her husband, seated next to me.
I hear the name- same as the groom- and say “are you the mother?”
NEVER say this even if it is possible
always say “how are you related”? (yup she was the sister- step but still)
Did you hear me?
Ok it is true I think I am 30 and that everyone else is old. But I must not let on that I feel this. In this moment all the colour left my skin and my body floated up to the ceiling of the church and tried to escape throught the back door. How could I have insulted someone in the first 3 minutes? Seriously it must be some kind of record.
Take it on good record to also never say
“when are you due?”
or
“No, I saw your husband tonight. He definitely is not working late”
It is truly a marvel the way my mind can work so quickly at times and so slowly at others
I love this story. I am pretty sure that I do this stuff weekly.We should start a support group for the foot in mouth crowd.
A woman I used to work with once mentioned that she had seen Paul McCartney in concert. My brain, struggling for a conversation point to connect to what she had said, came up with this gem: “Really? With the Beatles?”
The woman is older than I am, yes. But only by a few years. The Beatles had, of course, broken up before I was born. I was in kindergarten when John Lennon was shot. OF COURSE I knew she was too young to have seen the Beatles!! OF COURSE I knew that! DUH!! But that’s what my mouth said. She was cool about it, laughed and playfully chastised me. But I thought my face would never return to its normal color, and I’d have to go through the rest of my life with a scarlet mask of horror.
On balance, though, it’s okay because a woman once asked me–when I was twenty-seven–if the guy I was with was my son. He was twenty-five.
Yeah.
gaaahhhhhh!!!!! i don’t ask the pregnancy question until the baby is crowning…seriously.
“how are you related”….putting that one in the brain bank!
Oh no!! *snorts* It happens… I’m sure she forgave you quickly, Charming Village… who could stay mad at you?!