Kim Kardashian Is Learning That Raising Two Kids Is “So Hard”

If you subscribe to Kim Kardashian’s app or website, you no doubt have already seen her latest post on how her family has drastically changed since the arrival of her second child, Saint, on December 5^th 2015.

From what the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star says she’s barely able to eat let alone sleep in her own bed.

“I’m up at 4 a.m., pumping and delirious, hiding in my daughter’s closet because if she sees I snuck out of her bed, she will start to cry AND I think she gave me a cold so I figure no better time to write a #StraightUp than now!” she wrote.

She went on to talk about how her mother, Kris Jenner, warned her but it wasn’t until this past December that she truly understood what her mom meant.

“My mom would always say, about having kids: ‘One is like one, and two are like twenty.’ I never really understood that until now. It seemed like every time Kanye and I would go out, we would see couples—or really anybody that had kids—and everyone would say, ‘Wait until you have two.’ Like it’s the end of the world! I remember Kanye and I would be like, ‘WTF are they talking about? Will our lives be the same? Are we going to be OK?!’ ”

And while the couple is okay, the second child really did make a huge difference in the Kardashian-West home.

“Of course, I expected it to be different but, wow, it really is so hard!” Kardashian shared. “When I had North, all I did was feed and sleep. This time around, I get no sleep. Every waking second that I’m not with the baby, I’m with North. I actually think the harder parts aren’t with the newborn but with the toddler! I feel like I go into overdrive to give my daughter attention and make her feel loved.”

We love that Kardashian is trying to make sure she still shares her time with North, even when she’s trying to bond with Saint—it’s not an easy juggling act but one that most parents’ of two or more understand.

The reality star is hopeful that she will eventually find her “perfect groove” with the kids.

“I’ve attempted to work a few times or enjoy our Christmas Eve party, but it’s definitely been challenging feeding the baby in between getting myself ready and getting my daughter ready,” she shares. “Being late and running behind gives me anxiety, but I know we will soon get into the perfect groove and just figure it out. My mom did, my sister did—and I will, too.”