Fictional Characters I Wish Were Real

I went to see The Way, Way Back last night.  Have you heard of it?  It was AMAZING.  Watch the trailer here.  I laughed, I cried, I fell in love.  With Sam Rockwell’s character Owen.  In love, as in when it was over, I was pissed that he wasn’t a real person that I could stalk find and woo into loving me.  Do you ever get like that after seeing a movie, tv show or reading a book?  Sadly, I do.  And YES, before you jump all over me, I understand these are fictional characters, but I can still fall in love with them? No?

I understand these are fictional characters, but I can still fall in love with them? No?

Without further ado, here is my list of Top Ten Fictional Characters Who I Want To Fall In Love With Me.

1. Owen from the Way, Way, Back. (Sam Rockwell) Why? He’s hilarious, a man-child, and has a heart of gold.  Oh and he can even rock a white undershirt.  Real Deal.

2. Officer Rhodes from Bridesmaids (Chris O’Dowd) Why? Because he falls for Kristen Wiig’s Annie even though she’s slightly neurotic, unlucky in love and can’t recognize his awesomeness.  Sidenote, in the movie, my friend Mo leaned over and said ‘that is the perfect man for you.’  I know MO!

3. Crosby from Parenthood (Dax Shepherd).  Why? Umm.  See #1.  Apparently I have a thing for men-children in wife beaters.

4. Opie from Sons of Anarchy (Ryan Hurst).  Why? Because HELLO.  He’s hairy, dirty, and wears a toque like nobody else can.  He’s nice to strippers.  Well sort of.  He loves his dad.  He’s just hot.  I’m allowed a couple of simply hot ones.

5. Nickie Ferranti from An Affair To Remember (Cary Grant).  Why? The smoothness.  The bad boy with a heart of gold.  You see Nickie would be a project.  I enjoy a good project.

6.  Jack from While You Were Sleeping (Bill Pullman).  Why? I’ll admit it.  I have a total thing for Jack and all Bill Pullman characters.  I’m not really sure why.  He just seems like the man.  Cool, goofy, sweet but not too sweet.

7. Stephen Colbert from the Colbert Report.  Why? Here’s the thing.  It’s actually Stephen Colbert from the show and in real life who I’m totally in love with.  #1 celeb crush right now.  If you’re questioning me, watch the Oprah interview with him and then add smart and funny.  You’ll get it.  Stephen Colbert oooozes sexiness.

8. Anything with Colin Firth.  aka Mr. Darcy, Jamie from Love Actually, Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones.  Why?  Dudes.  It’s Mr. Darcy.  Probably the BEST fictional character ever.  Except for maybe Scooby Doo (that line brought to you via Will Lanthier)

9. Gary Shepherd on Thirtysomething (Peter Horton).  Why? Let’s see.  Oh right.  The challenge.  Gary would always be a challenge.

10. Maximus Decimus Meridius from Gladiator (Russell Crowe).  Why? I’m not sure I can guess how many times I’ve watched this movie.  Every time it ends, I dream that I’m his wife being reunited with him in the aftermath.  I just change up the story in that I die in a freak spa accident or something as opposed to being raped and murdered.

Okay, and I’m adding a #11, in case I decide to switch teams.  Nola Rice in Match Point (Scarlett Johansson).  I’m serious.  I don’t think there has ever been a hotter woman in a movie than Scarlett in this Woody Allen movie.  And yes, I’ve seen old movies with Liz Taylor and the likes.  Nothing compares.

What about you?  Come on.  Every one falls for a fictional character.  Just please don’t tell me it’s Christian Grey!

Spill it!