You know what? I get Miley Cyrus. I do. I was 20 once, and I spent a lot of time drinking $2 highballs at shitty nightclubs and doing stuff I am super glad was never immortalized on the Internet. Miley’s dance moves? I did them first. I was never racially clueless (my major complaint about the Miley we’ve come to know and … know), but I definitely really liked the way my ass looked in a tube dress and I wanted everyone to know about it. Maybe I never shared her penchant for foam fingers, but to be honest I probably just never thought about it.
Me at 20. I’m the unnaturally tanned one.
I’m 30 now. I don’t dance like that anymore. I understand why we don’t behave like that if we also hope to get hired at jobs that pay enough to live on.
Whatever. Miley will learn, or she won’t. Can we teach our daughters something out of all of this? Oh hells yes. Nude vinyl doesn’t look good on anyone. Don’t treat black people like accessories. Brush your tongue.
If my daughter was 20 and acting like Miley Cyrus did at the VMAs the other night, I would certainly be uncomfortable; I would not like that one bit. In fact, I would prefer my son waits until he is at least 25 before he takes the stage at the VMAs in see-thru knickers, but that’s because he’s my baby and I want to protect him from the world, and 20 is still so young.
But here’s the thing. If at 20 he’s Miley, well, it happens and we grow and change and learn that we look like idiots sometimes and drink less and stop repeating that kind of behaviour.
If at 36, he’s Robin Thicke, I will be disappointed and ashamed and angry.
Robin Thicke’s mother, Gloria Loring (via E! Online):
“I don’t understand what Miley Cyrus is trying to do,” she said. “I just keep thinking of her mother and father watching this.”
And:
Loring added, “I was not expecting her to be putting her butt that close to my son. The problem is, now I can never unsee it.”
Robin Thicke’s wife wasn’t surprised – there had been rehearsals, and she knew what was up.
Robin Thicke is 36. He sings a song about the lines of consent being “blurry.” He happily allowed the choreography for his performance to proceed as it did. He thinks he’s the perfect guy to degrade women.
If my baby grows up to be Robin Thicke I will not defend his douchebag behaviour. I will know that I have done something terribly, terribly wrong.
If my baby grows up to be Robin Thicke, I will be disappointed in him, no matter how many records he sells.
I actually really like the song, and I don’t even mind the video too much, but that business at the MVAs just turned me right off. Until now I had only thought about this song in the context of my role as a mom to two daughters. I hadn’t thought about from the perspective of mothers of sons. Indeed, it’s maybe even more incumbent on parents raising young men to be addressing these issues. Thanks for a refreshing take on this story, Emily.
Absolutely, Emily! Shameful. That was my first thought when all the Miley stuff came bursting out. Nobody commented on the Dirty Old Man!
One of the smartest pieces of writing I’ve seen about this story. If I were Gloria Loring I’d be keeping a much lower profile, not questioning Miley’s moves!
Thank you for addressing the biggest issue with Miley and her objectification of black women.
Well said. Thanks for contextualizing both their ages & the fact that the ‘dance’ choreography was just that: choreographed.