What comes to mind when you think of arranged marriages? I remember having a chat with a friend about the customs that surround this sort of “courtship”. I’ve always been fascinated with the idea and although so many people liken it to more of a business transaction, I’m learning that there have been successful marriages. But what happens when things go off course?
Is it still common for arranged marriages in India?
Banka: Yes, I would say so but I’m no expert, despite having made a film that takes
place in that world. It’s funny but I often get questions about arranged
marriages but I by no means know everything about it. My experience is
limited to what I’ve seen from my friends and family and in India. And among
that group of people, it is very common. It’s not that “love” marriages
don’t happen, they certainly do, but there do seem to be a lot of people
having arranged marriages.
In the Chinese culture we sometimes still hear of “matchmakers” that set
up men and women and we have varying steps of courtship. What about the
South East Indian culture? Are there certain steps that a man must take to
be accepted or for a woman to be accepted.
Banka: Well, my understanding would be that are more formalized and less formalized
versions of arrangements, depending on the specific culture of the place,
and attitudes of the families, etc. In A Decent Arrangement, the main
character’s cousin “Preeti Mehta” played by Shabana Azmi, takes on this role
as matchmaker and very much drives the process and the story forward with
comic seriousness. In real life, something like this could certainly happen,
but often times it’s the families or even the friends of families that might
make an introduction between eligible people. I tried to portray as
accurately as possible the sort of somewhat formal and somewhat informal way
it might happen and in the culture that I see, but it’s definitely not the
only way across India. There definitely are steps of acceptance, but in the
way we portray it, both parties are mutually interested after meeting with
other prospective partners and decide on getting arranged after a brief
period of getting to know each other. That’s how I’ve observed it happening.
Often the western world think negatively towards arranged marriages, your
thoughts?
Banka: Well, one thing we really try to do in the film is not to make a statement
about what we think about arranged marriages, but more explore it as an
idea. I do find that in the West there is sort of a bias amongst some people
against it as being valid, and I think if you watch the film from that
perspective and see how it might actually occur and work between two people
who you get to know, you might question that. But it all depends on your
perspective going into the film. Romantic “falling in love” isn’t exactly a
perfect system either- in fact, the whole genre of romantic comedy draws
inspiration from this fact. Love and marriage are complicated, whether
arranged or by chance, and we try most of all to explore those complications
and the effects on the characters.
How about finding love? What’s the thought in your culture? Do people
generally think marriage is about love especially in arranged marriage
situations?
Banka: I think it definitely can be. And that’s probably the conclusion we come to
in the film. I think there are many people who had their marriages arranged
who are in very loving marriages. And there are probably some people who are
not. Not to be a little evasive, but I think a lot of people see it has a
path to happiness and potentially security, and love has a lot of different
definitions.
Sarova Banka was born and raised in the Philadelphia area and now resides in Los Angeles. He began his career performing sketch comedy, making short films and writing feature screenplays and stage plays. Sarovar’s work has been performed on stages in Rhode Island and New York City, including Off-Broadway.
Thanks to Sarova Banka for taking the time out for this interview! Check out his film A DECENT ARRANGEMENT during the ReelWorld Film Festival. For more information visit the official website at www.reelworld.ca
Sounds like an interesting film, Sonya! Thanks for the title!!