Tonight I got my first upfront lesson in competitive parenting 101. I know the teacher at the Gaffer's preschool has nothing but the purest intentions at heart, but as she went through the calendar of activities and seasonal celebrations for the school year, the death knell growing between my ears … [Read more...]

On saturday, i handed Isabella a piece of bread. she took a bite out of it and said: "mommy look! it's a dinosaur! it's so SCARY!" and then took another bite and said: "mommy look! it's a tiger! rawr!" and then took another and said: "oh, now it's a dog. woof" and then … [Read more...]

Hi Gorgeouses!!!!! HUGE night tonight. YUGE! It's MTV's VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS -- the INFAMOUS VMA's, the most SCANDALOUS awards show EVAH, like, the one in which MADONNA AND BRITNEY KISSED (remember that?), the one where Brit brought the python, wore the barely-there costume, etc., etc.. It's … [Read more...]

okay...i happen to be in the camp that thinks that Mischa Barton is a beautiful girl. i always have. well, except for maybe when she was in the Sixth Sense, because she was all vomity and her creepy factor was way high. but, she's got a unique look to her (and i love the girls who can make round … [Read more...]

Hi Gorgeouses, LOOK AT ME!!! That, my GORGEOUS friends, is your host right now -- stain-on-boob, swollen hands and nose, uggers short haircut, and all.... Sooooo, I beg you.... PLEASE BEAR WITH ME! I'm almost 37 weeks preggers, and I'm totally losing steam, in a THICK FOG. I hate admitting … [Read more...]

People tend to give mourners some room. Humans are generally compassionate people. When there has been a death in the family, bosses, friends, extended family, social acquaintances, they all allow the grievor some space, some mistakes, a little leeway and opportunity to be less than the norm. I'm … [Read more...]

so...this is a really embarrassing story. and because i have no shame...when something mortifying happens to me, i can't wait to share it with the internets. i have this weird thing about water. actually, scratch that. i have this weird thing about vomiting. i'm not going to get into it right now, … [Read more...]

Hi Gorgeouses! On tap today: GWEN STEFANI's perfume ad; HALLE BERRY is PREGNANT; MICHELLE WILLIAMS and MATHILDA out and about; OWEN WILSON released from hospital; and, MORE! check it!!! HALLE BERRY IS PREGGERS! OFFICIAL!!! Yes, Halle Berry, 41, is three months along now, and it's official! … [Read more...]

DISCLAIMER: From now till Haley-O gives birth, DO NOT expect ANYTHING brillers to appear on present screen. Thank you for understanding and for your ongoing commitment and much appreciated support of limping, burping, kvetching, double-chinned, uggers-haired, dimply-arsed preggers woman. … [Read more...]

I felt old for the first time today. yes. at the ripe old age of 29. Emily has just recently graduated to the green band at Canada's Wonderland. i don't really think she's actually a green, but her ponytail was sticking up above the line and some generous underpaid staff member granted her her wish … [Read more...]